h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Many things to tell you, my lovely imaginary friends. I saw Phantom Menace yesterday. Absolutely smashing, I must say. Except it made me heartsick for a new planet. Another thing. I spent all weekend cleaning. I'm done now. I don't know what to do with myself. That's why I'm here. Another thing. My uncle offered me money to help him format web pages. I am flabbergasted. I know only the most rudimentary HTML and besides, I work on a Mac. What can I do to help him? Another thing. At the bus depot, I got hit on by a red haired skater type guy. He was very nice. I felt bad that I couldn't take him up on his coffee offer. (Isn't that funny? A skater offering to take me to Starbucks! What a juxtaposition!) Not half an hour later, a guy on the bus also hit on me. Luckily, my stop came right up. Another thing. Yesterday, I weighed five pounds less than I do today. How did I manage to gain five pounds last night while I was asleep? Nevertheless, I believe I will begin a fast. Another thing. Brother out of school. Me in school. (Have two weeks left.) Question: What will he do to my room while I am at school? Another thing. When do they tell us if our submitted hhgg entries have been rejected? 

It seems, my dear, that you don't need to loose any wieght at all if two guys hit on you in the same hour! also here is a little secret, allbeit from a lad from a backward country in europe. males don't and never will like thin women. In our opinion we all like to hold something we can see y'know.

Oh, you're so sweet. But think about it for a moment: is there any female celebrity who is overweight. Naturally. But do you ever see them in a swimsuit? And is their weight something they are constantly asked about? I think that the reason some men say things like you is because they realize that they'll never get to have sex with some fabulously thin and beautiful woman.