h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Wolvesey Castle, Hampshire, UK - A76229003
Author: Bluebottle - U43530

An article about a fascinating castle in Hampshire.

<BB<

Another well researched and well written piece. Couldn't find a lot wrong on first read, will come back later after a more careful scrutiny.


BMT Scout

Good again BB I could only find a couple of very minor points

*scrapes barrel*

home of the Bishop of Winchester --> home of the Bishop*s* of Winchester

One sentence particularly grated my gramattical nerves
<>
Could this be changed to <>

defendable >> defensible

You talk about Stephan and Stephen. If these are one person, which spelling do you prefer?

Changes made, thanks

<BB<

Does anyone have any further suggestions?

<BB<

Yes

The sections Castle remains to Chapel would be better at the end of the entry

Castle remains possably change to The Castle Today

And

Wolvesey Castle, Hampshire, UK to Wolvesey Castle, Winchester, Hampshire, UK

PS excellent work <BB<

Excellent suggestion, changes made.

<BB<

This could be even better if you worked on it a little more - some bits are a bit rambly and slow down the reader. It's a good entry, but we know you can write good entries.

Thanks for making those changes Bluebottle. Fascinating stuff. Please don't feel you have to rewrite significantly. We'd be happy to look at minor tweaking during the subbing stage, if you're happy for us to.

I've made some changes where I've gone over the same ground more than once and streamlined some sentances so hopefully they read a bit better. Are there any areas I've missed?

<BB<

Hi Bluebottle. This is reading much better. Although you might want to look at this section:
"Winchester was the wealthiest see in England throughout the middle ages, wealthier even than the archbishopric of Canterbury which Winchester challenged unsuccessfully for the right to be an archiepiscopal see2"

There's a full stop, and maybe something else, missing from the end. And also some of those terms - a 'see' rather than a 'seat', 'archiepiscopal' - could do with an explanation, or simplification where you can.

Also try to avoid footnotes within footnotes - maybe the information in footnote 3 could be added to footnote 2 - as it makes things a little labyrinthine for readers.

Otherwise, this is looking in good shape. Cheers

A change has been made to hopefully clarify that section.

<BB<

Great, thanks Bluebottle. Everyone happy for us to accept this now?

Yes yes

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Hello <BB<

I know its a bit late but griskins

Could you put griskinslean meat from aloin of pork.