A Conversation for Wolvesey Castle, Winchester, Hampshire, UK

Peer Review : A76229003 - Wolvesey Castle, Hampshire, UK

Post 1

Bluebottle

Entry: Wolvesey Castle, Hampshire, UK - A76229003
Author: Bluebottle - U43530

An article about a fascinating castle in Hampshire.

<BB<


A76229003 - Wolvesey Castle, Hampshire, UK

Post 2

BMT

Another well researched and well written piece. Couldn't find a lot wrong on first read, will come back later after a more careful scrutiny. smiley - smiley


BMT Scout


A76229003 - Wolvesey Castle, Hampshire, UK

Post 3

h5ringer

Good again BB smiley - ok I could only find a couple of very minor points

*scrapes barrel* smiley - laugh

smiley - modhome of the Bishop of Winchester --> home of the Bishop*s* of Winchester

smiley - modOne sentence particularly grated my gramattical nerves
<>
Could this be changed to <>smiley - winkeye

smiley - mod defendable >> defensible

smiley - modYou talk about Stephan and Stephen. If these are one person, which spelling do you prefer?

smiley - ale


A76229003 - Wolvesey Castle, Hampshire, UK

Post 4

Bluebottle

Changes made, thankssmiley - cheers

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A76229003 - Wolvesey Castle, Hampshire, UK

Post 5

Bluebottle

Does anyone have any further suggestions?

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A76229003 - Wolvesey Castle, Hampshire, UK

Post 6

bobstafford

Yes

The sections Castle remains to Chapel would be better at the end of the entrysmiley - smiley

Castle remains possably change to The Castle Today smiley - ok


A76229003 - Wolvesey Castle, Hampshire, UK

Post 7

bobstafford

And

Wolvesey Castle, Hampshire, UK to Wolvesey Castle, Winchester, Hampshire, UKsmiley - ok


A76229003 - Wolvesey Castle, Hampshire, UK

Post 8

bobstafford

PS excellent work <BB<smiley - cheers


A76229003 - Wolvesey Castle, Hampshire, UK

Post 9

Bluebottle

Excellent suggestion, changes made.

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A76229003 - Wolvesey Castle, Hampshire, UK

Post 10

AlexAshman


This could be even better if you worked on it a little more - some bits are a bit rambly and slow down the reader. It's a good entry, but we know you can write good entries. smiley - smiley


A76229003 - Wolvesey Castle, Hampshire, UK

Post 11

The H2G2 Editors

Thanks for making those changes Bluebottle. Fascinating stuff. Please don't feel you have to rewrite significantly. We'd be happy to look at minor tweaking during the subbing stage, if you're happy for us to. smiley - ok


A76229003 - Wolvesey Castle, Hampshire, UK

Post 12

Bluebottle

I've made some changes where I've gone over the same ground more than once and streamlined some sentances so hopefully they read a bit better. Are there any areas I've missed?

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A76229003 - Wolvesey Castle, Hampshire, UK

Post 13

The H2G2 Editors

Hi Bluebottle. This is reading much better. Although you might want to look at this section:
"Winchester was the wealthiest see in England throughout the middle ages, wealthier even than the archbishopric of Canterbury which Winchester challenged unsuccessfully for the right to be an archiepiscopal see2"

There's a full stop, and maybe something else, missing from the end. And also some of those terms - a 'see' rather than a 'seat', 'archiepiscopal' - could do with an explanation, or simplification where you can.

Also try to avoid footnotes within footnotes - maybe the information in footnote 3 could be added to footnote 2 - as it makes things a little labyrinthine for readers.

Otherwise, this is looking in good shape. Cheers smiley - ok


A76229003 - Wolvesey Castle, Hampshire, UK

Post 14

Bluebottle

A change has been made to hopefully clarify that section.

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A76229003 - Wolvesey Castle, Hampshire, UK

Post 15

The H2G2 Editors

Great, thanks Bluebottle. Everyone happy for us to accept this now?


A76229003 - Wolvesey Castle, Hampshire, UK

Post 16

h5ringer

Yes yes smiley - ok


A76229003 - Wolvesey Castle, Hampshire, UK

Post 17

AlexAshman


smiley - ok


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Picked for the Edited Guide!

Post 18

h2g2 auto-messages

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If you'd like to know what happens now, check out the page on 'What Happens after your Entry has been Recommended?' at EditedGuide-Process. We hope this explains everything.

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Congratulations - Your Entry has been Picked for the Edited Guide!

Post 19

AlexAshman


smiley - applause


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Picked for the Edited Guide!

Post 20

bobstafford

Hello <BB<

I know its a bit late but griskins

Could you put griskinslean meat from aloin of pork.


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