A Conversation for The Great Gatsby and the American Dream

Peer Review: A51933279 - The Great Gatsby and the American Dream

Post 1

a-m-r88

Entry: The Great Gatsby and the American Dream - A51933279
Author: a-m-r88 - U13982177

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A51933279 - The Great Gatsby and the American Dream

Post 2

J

Hi there amr

The Great Gatsby is certainly a great novel, and deserves an entry. I really appreciate the work you've put into this. Right now, though, my inclination is that it reads a lot like a college essay (the Sparknotes link reinforces this suspicion).

I believe this could be greatly improved by adding some more structure to it. Your last two subheaders are sort of "catch-alls". A nice, classic way to structure an entry on a novel is by introducing the characters, plot, criticism/reception and some interpretation separately and in a logical order. To have a look at how previous h2g2 authors have handled the structure, here's a good place to start - C840. Ultimately, how you structure it is up to you, but I would suggest adding a bit more structure.

You could also try breaking the paragraphs up into smaller, and more logical chunks. Right now, you only have paragraphs broken when you want to insert a quotation.

The two things that always stood out to me about the novel were the tragedy of Gatsby and Fitzgerald's stylishness. The American Dream is there, sure, but I've never found it the most appealing or interesting part of the book. It's not what makes it a great book to me.

If I were writing this, I might mention the famous opening and closing lines... "In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice I've been turning over in my head ever since." and "And so we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past"

Thanks for writing this smiley - smiley Hope my few criticisms are received in the manner they were intended.


A51933279 - The Great Gatsby and the American Dream

Post 3

a-m-r88

Hey there,

thank you for the criticism and suggestions - I am going to work through my essay again and change a couple of things.

Only one thing to defend myself smiley - winkeye the structure and the content were intended to be this way; I did not want to produce another sparknotes essay on this novel because there are already so many similar entries on characters, plots, symbols etc. I tried to see the novel as a "whole" and to link it with the American Dream which obviously is an important theme. I'll think over it again and change and add some bits here and there.

Again, I'm very grateful for any suggested improvements or criticism. smiley - ok


A51933279 - The Great Gatsby and the American Dream

Post 4

resibauer

Hey there!

I really like the topic you chose as it is one of my favorite books; and I especially like your writing style.

You follow a clear and logic structure (first about the author, then a summary of the plot,..). Though, I agree with Jordan that it would be helpful to break it up into smaller paragraphs to make it easier for the reader to follow.
Additionally, you could include even more quotes and examples from the book to support what you are saying.
Furthermore, you could include other opinions or critiques about the book and probably tell why it hasn’t been as popular during Fitzgerald’s lifetime..

All in all it is a well-written article; it just needs a little polish.
Good luck with it!
smiley - ok


A51933279 - The Great Gatsby and the American Dream

Post 5

Icy North

Hi am-r88. smiley - smiley

This is a fine entry - very well-written.

I see you are looking to make some changes according to Jordan's comments. Please let us know when you have done so.

I look forward to seeing this in the Edited Guide!

smiley - cheers Icy


A51933279 - The Great Gatsby and the American Dream

Post 6

a-m-r88

why hello there, thanks again for all the criticism and ideas for improvement. I've changed a couple of things and worked on the layout, I'm not really a pro on the html codes etc smiley - erm
further ideas would be great.


A51933279 - The Great Gatsby and the American Dream

Post 7

h5ringer

Is this heading for FM?


A51933279 - The Great Gatsby and the American Dream

Post 8

Lanzababy - Guide Editor

Agreed, although it needs a lot of work, the present structure needs completely re-organising.

Flea Market smiley - ok


A51933279 - The Great Gatsby and the American Dream

Post 9

h5ringer

Email sent


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