h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Lauren Bacall - A7531085
Author: Opticalillusion- media mynx life would be boring without hiccups - U231227

After a makeover and a few additions, I am returning this to PR.

F3079223?thread=1638776

There are some sentences in there which need attention, Opti.

eg: <>

If you read sentences like that out loud (with no pause for breath as there's no punctuation) you'll see where the problems are.


GB

GB ... I think I've managed to sort that one out...I really think I need that technological device that plays back what you have written.

That's much better

Now this one:

<> you don't need to say that Bacall is part of her own family

oh good ...where's the 'phew' smiley? oh and I thought there could be a camera one too but thats going off the point

Had a go at changing that other sentence too

Good

<>

That's a long sentence, with a lot going on, so it can be broken up thus:

At the same time she struck up a relationship with an actor called Jason Robards. The couple married in 1961, and together they had a child named Sam. However, the marriage came to an end eight years later, with Bacall stating that Robards' addiction to alcohol was to blame.

I've made the change

gemuetlich needs a special character: gem&uuml;etlich

<>
=
In 1942, Howard Hawks' wife Slim saw a copy of ...

<>
=
The engagement of Bacall and Sinatra was short-lived, however, as...

<> I know that's in the quote, but it should be "javelin-like" (like a javelin)

<>
you have that bracketed sentence in Maggie Smith's quote, did she say that? Or are they your words to explain why Maggie is calling Lauren Bacall "Betty"?

You have some curly apostrophes in there, which need to be removed and replaced

Some of your links have white spaces, eg:

I am sure you know the links should be displayed thus:

I've corrected the Entry

Excellent, good going Opti

GB

That's OK Opti, you're doing very well, but the first thing I checked was <>

I said:
<< you have that bracketed sentence in Maggie Smith's quote, did she say that? Or are they your words to explain why Maggie is calling Lauren Bacall "Betty"? >> and I can't see what you have changed. I personally feel it would be much better if you supply the info in the brackets as a footnote, then it won't detract from Maggie's statement about her friend Betty

oh I will put what the journalist wrote in brackets in my own words and put them in a footnote. to sort it out.

Thank you Opti

Opti can you please reread that first sentence after the opening blockquote; it doesn't make any sense as it stands.

<>
Either <> or <>

sorted h5ringer and for commenting

Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've therefore moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.

If you'd like to know what happens now, check out the page on 'What Happens after your Entry has been Recommended?' at EditedGuide-Process. We hope this explains everything.

Thanks for contributing to the Edited Guide!

Congratulations Opti

GB

Well done