h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My cuddly little ball of fur only reveals its true nature when an insect such as a daddy long legs or moth approaches. Then it becomes a murdering, evil, little monster. In between this it keeps its teeth sharp by chewing on my finger.
My last hamster was an escape artist. Unfortunetley (or perhaps not) it was also rather stupid. It didn`t realise that once it had got out it was supposed to run away and would, more likely than not, wander past you . Often the first sign it was out was when you found it.

Took my hamster to the vet last night to get his teeth clipped. I took him there in a shoe box with holes in the top. He has been transported in it before and didn't seem to mind so I wasn't worried. He happily sat there as I drove to the vet without making much fuss. However, once we were in the waiting room he became a law unto himself.

First his nose appeared through one of the holes (it was just big enough for the nose to fit) then his teeth appeared. He systematically knawed his way around the hole until he had widened it. I caught him doing this so that whenever his nose appeared I would out my finger over the hole so he coldn't chew. The crafty little sod then went at all the holes in a random pattern trying to escape my attempts to stop him. This caused great amusement amongst the other people waiting.

He probably thought he had scored a major victory when eventually he had made a hole big enough to get his head out. But revenge was mine for within a minute of his victory the vet had clipped his teeth and that made him very humble and quiet. They can be beaten!

Although I have had 3 hamsters over a period of about 7 or 8 years, I still think rats are worse than hamsters. However, their tactics vary greatly to those of hamsters. Rather than being annoying little sods, like chewing their way through every wire in the house to make your electrical appliances explode in one giant mushroom cloud, rats use the friendly approach. They befriend you, then make you follow their evil ways. I have had to keep my friend in isolation for a number of days to cure his false love of rats. In fact, I'm sure that rats were created by the Vogon Empire in order to remove all humans from earth, and make them suffer the incredibly evil Vogon poetry.
Beware the rat, it may not be as intelligent as the evil mouse, but stay away from then at all costs!