h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A good buddy of mine, Don, is in the US Army National Guard. This week, he got called in to active duty. The good news is that he's not immediately going overseas; his unit is assigned guard duty at some military base in USA. The bad news is that, although they are not likely to go overseas, the possibility is there, and he won't know that he's going until right before. So he'll spend a year or two being bored and not knowing where he's going to be next week.

Don is a pretty independent guy, so he's got all his affairs squared away. I'm helping him out in a small way by taking care of his plants while he's gone. Oh, and I'm babysitting his copy of HBO's "Band of Brothers."

Don't get too bored, Don. I know it's bad luck to wish you good luck, so I'll just tell you to have fun. And don't get too dusty.

What's the general feeling/opinion on your side of the pond Wampus? Is it the same over here - complete and utter confusion, distaste and lack of trust in Mr. Bush?

Well, there's a division of opinion about Bush over here. A segment of the population feels just that way: distaste and lack of trust. Another, equally large segment, support Bush and his agenda to go to war. Until yesterday, I didn't believe the second segment existed because I was surrounded by representatives of the first segment.

Yesterday, we were working with a fellow from out of town who, in all seriousness, called Bush, "My hero." Since he was surrounded by me and people of the first segment, we all thought he was joking, when he was actually serious. We'd never met someone who actually supported Bush before.

"My hero"?

That's just downright disturbing. Was he odd in any other way? Is he aware of the outside world?

Yes, he's a very worldly, sharp guy. He travels a lot, due to work. I thought (and still think) that he's a very smart guy, but he's hardcore Republican. Maybe people from that area of USA are somewhat sheltered.

I still kind of wonder whether he was joking or not. He said it like he was being sarcastic, but he went on like he really was a Bush supporter.

From a somewhat outsiders perspective, I find the idea that the Republicans exist in America, absolutely ridiculous. Everything they seem to represent, is as anti-American as I can think of. And they inevitably damage the country...
And it bothers me that people buy into it too.

Well...supposedly the Republicans are people who believe that the federal government should have a smaller role in peoples' lives. To that end, they are supposed to oppose anything that increases the size of government, such as government regulation, welfare (you call it the dole), social security, etc. To put it cynically, they're a bunch of rich white guys who dislike having to pay taxes which will eventually be spent on the poor.

Worse yet, the Republicans are much better at the game of politics than the Democrats. Bush as much, much worse skeletons in his closet than Clinton, yet Clinton's presidency was constantly clouded by scandal whereas Bush remains squeaky clean.

Aside from the ol' alcohol thing.

I read a quote earlier today -

"I might trust Bush with my daughter, but I'd rather Clinton dealt with my country."

It's utter madness. The Republicans are all front, and pomp and live in a weird upper class universe...and the Democrats get the bad deal because Clinton got laid? Yes. That makes sense. A happy President, is a good president.

Unfortunately, that ethos doesn't work over in these parts. Despite the current governement, I'm ready for my American Citizenship. We'll share the Queen with you lot in return...

You can keep the royal family. I think we have enough disinterest in government without adding something else that will draw peoples' attention. If anything, I think we would turn them into a reality TV show.

American Citizenship? Really?

Hell yeh. I've wanted to be American for a long long time. Gotta keep my nose clean and my bank balance high first. Although, if I get a decent writing career off the blocks, I don't have to worry about the bank balance side of things.


I can't believe you wouldn't want Prince Philip by the way...he is the best Royal...

Maybe that's why we're so obsessed with our celebrities. We don't have a royal family to fuss over.

Um. Well, you Americans (generally) seem to care more about the Royal family than we do...

That was just Princess Di. The rest we don't care about.

So...if we don't care about them.

And you don't care about them.

*thinks*

Why do we still have them?

Think, think, think. Oh, bother.

So hows the war going?

I dunno. Don is probably in LA guarding some Predator Drones. If he's lucky, that's all he'll have to do for the next year.

I see. Unleashed the flying monkeys yet?

Not yet; we still need our 10000 monkeys to sit at 10000 computers and produce GWB's foreign policy....

"It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times..."

Maybe if you give them guns, then their capability to do so will rise?

Maybe not.

I'll package up Prime Minister Bleaaargh () and send him over...