h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I work with a guy that is a classic health and fitness nazi. He claims to have nearly 95% of all fitness general well-being issues in his life under control. He is a daily testament to vitality.
His day was ruined recently when he learned that his BMI (Body Mass Index) was a couple points higher than the woman's working next to him. Other than being an avid cyclist, she doesn't make any particular effort to stay fit. It ruined an entire weekend for the guy as he tried everything he could to get to her level.
He surprised us (the cyclist and I) yesterday. Seems he has season tickets to a major maize & blue college football stadium (a fandom I share). As you may know, college stadium seating is even tighter than airline coach seats. They really pack people into those stadiums, at times bending several laws of physics. It seems that at the end of his row of bleacher seats sits a couple that are overweight... a lot. These two take up 3 or 4 spaces instead of the alloted 2.
He wanted us to encourage him to go ahead and give these people, who were obviously lazy, undisciplined, and socially undesirable, a sizable piece of his mind. How dare they be fat, and by the domino effect, take up some of his space. He was serious and seemed to have the zeal of a summer evangelist.
We were kind of flat-footed with nothing to say that he would understand.