h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yes - you are welcome to be a lifeguard, and you'll be one as soon as you tell me what sort of title you'd like. Look at the page in order to get some ideas if you can't think of one.

I think I will be known as:
"TechnicolorYawn - Lifeguard with spring-loaded nipples and the inate ability to run in slow motion. (He has his own floaty orange thing on a string, you know)"

hi Bluebottle

Thanx for writing me on the team but....I know I picked but my title is long and confusing think we could maby change it to "lifegaurd who inexplicably wears scuba gear" that is just as eccentric but less of a mouthfull. thanks

On a complete tangent, go to
http://www.h2g2.com/forumframe.cgi?forum=27281&thread=32059 and bitch about people. And fill up someone's rather blank and lonely post list.

Hello! I am a poor swimmer and I'm deathly allergic to seaweed, but I do so love the beach. Can I be 'The Non-Bouyant But Enthusiastic Land-locked Lifeguard'? I am open to variations on that theme.

ooooo so many lifeguards now--
fabuloso
-saffire

so when you see someone drowning are saffire and RA gonna stand there debating whether its male or female to see who goes and rescues it? I mean this could lead to people dying out here

Maybe - but I believe TechicolorYawn and his scheme to remove all swimming costumes will relieve the issue a lot.
But welcome to the team, Donne! You're very welcome!

BTW - the bikini competition list is up at:
http://www.h2g2.com/A229367

At last! The H.R.A.S.C. homepage is up and running! Join up today
and make h2g2's bathing areas a safer place!
http://www.h2g2.com/A229303

Thanks for the welcome, Bluebottle! I, er, wonder if anyone will actually swim if all suits are banned. After all, I'm sure such freedom would lead to less room on the sand, and open seas!

I never said they were banned. It's just that if you do wear one, your liable to invite action from HRASC.

True, yes, forgive me. I mispoke. Yet who would be foolish enough to wear a swim suit after witnessing the carnage on the HRASC home page? Not I!

I hope you don't mind, TechnicolorYawn, but after signing up for the HRASC, I went down to the beach and started tourmenting unsuspecting swimmers in any sort of clothing. I am always enthusiastic when I begin a new task

No, that's a good thing. I'm sure the sharks can't tell the difference betwwen swimwear and ordinary clothes. Those people must be so grateful to you.

I think you're doing a great job so far

If only we had some sort of cool HRASC t-shirts or caps...but then, of course, we'd risk a shark attack if we wore them tot he beach. Tatoos, anyone?

No, actually I don't carry 89.9999kg of purple carrots around with me. The complex chemical process I referred to earlier involves transforming energy into matter, so I only need a very very small amount of purple carrots, and lots of energy, and *poof* I am a human.

See?

what is all this talk of hrasc?

it stands for "H2G2 Researchers Against Swimming Costumes"
visit http://www.h2g2.com/A229303 for more
and as I'm a member I must inform you that unless you remove all of you clothes immediately you are under threat of shark attack, just to let you know!