h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've crashed another car! Again, not my fault, but I've now been banned from driving company cars whilst not on company business. A bit unreasonable methinks, It's not as if I'd been doing anything daft and wrapped it around a tree. Still bike test on Wednesday, try and get the emergency stop right this time!!!

Hi.I'd call you bigaxe but it sounds like some kind of quincing petname,-do you have a name?Mine's a bit of a secret, but my mates call me the chemist.(don't ask)fancy a chat?

My name is Si. No secrets about that, just the usual short-form . What is "quincing"? As in poncey? There is a reason behind it, not a very good reason as I'd be the first to admit. It stems from university LRP's where any large axe would gravitate to either myself or my mate and the battle cry of gotta bigaxe wasn't far following. Well, it was either that or get drunk again.........
Chat away

Hey si.Quincing is one of my many made up terms.
It is a reference to homosexuality:Quincer (noun)
Quincing(verb)
Quince (curse)


Not generally used as an actual insult, more as a jesting linguistic touch.Have you passed your test yet? How did to manage to crash so many company cars (don't hesitate to blame sod's law, I know it works against some of us with avengence)

Getting drunk is a noble passtime indeed, and should not be disrespected.My personal favorite is chocolate liquer(I am a chocoholic, as many a female has chosen to exploit)

I haven't passed my test. Poo.
I have only crashed one company car. My own car was written off by "joyriders" who pulled out in front of me, the next was my parents car when someone drove into the back of it and the company car someone didn't see me, pulled out and hit it in the side. I'm going to drive tanks from now on....

Good idea, I can show you where to buy one if you want; go to www.iwantoneofthose.com...You can even have a russian fighter jet if u have the cash.I would reccomend something more subtle, a scorpian I.F.V never goes amiss in rush hour traffic....

My mate and I went to an Army Surplus store in Ripley (Derbyshire) on Saturday and if it hadn't already been sold and I'd got a spare £15,000 kicking about I'd have bought the tank on the forecourt.....

They also had a funky looking armoured thing there. Six-wheeled, small turret, kind of a desert colour for about £5,500....
We weren't sure whether the Vampire was for sale....

I don't think vampire's are readily available:go to russia, it's the largest army surples store in the world...

Yeah, but what's the exchange rate between sterling and the rouble and are you allowed armoured vehicles through the border from Russia and through the gates at Dover? Perhaps you could get it on the Chunnel......?!?!

I don't see why not;after all they allow tons of drugs,illegal immegrants, illegal arms and dutch porn through;so I can't see why they should object to a modestly sized,traffic calming, ever-so-slightly armoured vehicle to go through with nothing but cheery waves and a whip round for the wife's naval peircing.

True, it's not as if it is smuggleable is it? I think I'd like something like that. All I need is to save up for one. The insurance would be low I would have thought. You won't need crash damage repaired very often......
What happens if the wife already has her navel peirced?

Then u have to hope she's either
A)adventurous-and therefore willing to get one lower down
or B)have a dying son who desperatly needs a kidney transplant
otherwose you could hope that some of them were gay & c if they'd have a whip round for you...

Huuur... 'm knackered. I actually fell asleep at my desk this afternoon. Ooops... I think I'll get somewhere to live other than my parents before I buy my tank. They wouldn't appreciate the use of drive space.