h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've decided to randomly baddger people in hopes of tricking them into reading my entries so they may comment on them with witty and snotty remarks .. and your the first...
um uh I thought the latest h2g2 book described the guide as being black and bird like, but you've made this blue and blob like.. I hope you can justify this discrepentcy.
damm that not a verry good jab...so let me add blue sucks.

Yes, but the book described in Mostly Harmless was being run by Vogons. And this one isn't. At all. Not in the least. Really.

Look! Puppies!

Cloudesley, the Mach Two birdy guide thingy destroyed all of known reality and inexplicably created something even more impossible to comprehend. The birdy Mach Two guide thingy's exploits can be further understood and experienced at the Big Bang Burger Bar.

This gooey gloppy version of the Guide is most obviously Mach Three, which may or may not actually exist in Reality One. Somewhere. Get a mop.

I may or may not be Vroomfondel.

It's "Mark Two" Zach. Mach Two is a speed.

Oh pooh! Now I have to go through and spell check all the story chapters!

Well it could be worse.