h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: The Crossroads: Reasons behind Child Labor in Sudan - A11675991
Author: ashrafism - U3957439

Hi, Please help me in reviewing this piece, waiting for your feedbacks

thanks

Hi Ashrafism,

I'll read it in detail when I get a few minutes, but it looks like a very interesting and relevant topic.

I see you've written it in the style of an academic journal. Can you let me know whether this has been published elsewhere?

Icy

Hey,

thanks for the fast reply .. No, it wasnt published elsewhere, i submitted it for a course i was taking in university so i dont think it was published.

I will be waiting for your review

I've read it all, and I still think it's great, but...

You've written it in the style of a thesis, which is great for universities and academic journals, but is over-the-top for h2g2. We don't need abstracts and long lists of references here. All you need to do is write in your own words.

I suggest you rewrite it in a more natural style - the words you would use if you were telling someone about it.

It's a fair amount of work, but I think it would be well worth it, as the content of this article is fascinating, and your arguments are well-balanced. It would also help us non-academic readers here understand it more, so we can help review the detail.

It's also a bit long - over 3000 words. If you can cut this down to 1000-2000 words I think it would be ideal.

Icy

Hi Ashrafism

Are you still with us?

If not, then I think this should go to the Flea Market. Maybe someone with a few hours to spare can knock it into EG-ready shape.

Icy

Seconded
Email sent