h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yes. I see you are new. I am new as well. i found this site only yesterday through IMDB. It's a really cool site eh? My only problem is that people don't really want to respond to my Postings but that's just fine.

Hey-Ho Comatose !
First of all: Aehm... what is IMDB ?
Immortal Masters of Drugs and Boredom ?
Interessting Memories of Delirious Beasts ?
Well, I'm afraid it will turn out to be something more prosaic...

Anyway, it's a pitty if noone wants to respond to your postings, because it's infinte fun to hang around and discuss all kind of strange stuff and, well, usually I get some kind of reply. Uhm, and I just had a look at your homepage and found it quite the right shade of weird.

Anyway, would you like to quit humanity ? Than have a look at my journal entry about this idea. It's a pitty noone joined me so far. Life is much cooler from outside the stupid mankind. But I'm not quite sure if I was able to explain it understandable in english...

The Left Ear of the gODDess, Just Missing His Phisyc-Lesson

IMDB is Internet movie Data Base. It's a huge site with everything about every movie or TV show ever made. It's awsome. I recommend it very much. I would love to quit humanity! I feal like I did in 7th grade. Once I hit that line I was out of there, or here. Where am I?

Hail Eris!
Just posted to say welcome to h2g2 and give you some links so you can spread your subversive ideas of discordian conspiracy within the site or even meet some other people or hang out and chill...I don't know if you've realised it yet, but the guide is about more than guide entries. Try these links to make new friends or even get a virtual job. I did.
http://www.h2g2.com/C572 the world of h2g2
http://www.h2g2.com/A5752 newcomers welcome page
http://www.h2g2.com/A214796 aces homepage

http://www.h2g2.com/A344756 - A Guide to the Guide - Very Very useful! Really should help you around the community

I love football, if you do too then try out this site:
http://www.h2g2.com/A243677

If you have a problem or want to ask anything you can reply to this or click on my name and leave a message on the helpdesk. ACE stands for Assistant Community Editor and we have volunteered to help and welcome new users. There's always room for a good sect on site perhaps you should infiltrate some of the religions to be found here

Hi androyd !
You're welcome message is a bit late, I've been hanging around h2g2 some weeks and found out most of what you told me on my own, but thanks anyway
I'm just preparing my first entry, it will be about 'communiction guerilla'...

So long, and thanks for the fish... h2g2 rules !

A word of advice - if you are submitting an entry make sure that it is factual - and check the spelling unless you really mean 'communiction'...
Sorry about the delay but the system is being overwhelmed by the number of new users signing up everyday. Better late than never....perhaps

Uups, I meant 'communication'.... Well, I think I will check the spelling and stuff more than once, because english isn't what I talk and write and hear usually, although I believe it is a more beautiful language than german.
And don't panic, the entry will be highly factual, as far as anything about the communication guerilla can be factual...

Oh, nad I found the following sentence some time ago:
"It's never to late to be early."
Does that make any sense ? Well, who cares...

OK this should read: It's never too late to be early. My German isn't brilliant but I think it means: Es ist niemals so spat als fruhlich zu sein. You'll have to imagine the correct punctuation as I don't have German script on my PC. You could argue that it makes sense but you could also argue that it is a load of rubbish. I think you could say that it is on the borderline of sense.

I seem to recall the film: 'Faustus' where the lead character is speaking lines from Faust where the German language seemed to have a beauty and depth I've never heard elsewhere. I think it's probably easier to make English sound beautiful.

Yip, I think that the one and only thing in life, universe and everything where german sounds right is the Bürokratie... which itself isn't right, so this sentence is completly irrelevant.

I think shouting angry things generally sounds quite impressive in German. I can remember being told off by a policeman for hitchhiking on the motorway and he sounded dead impressive until his punchline which was I could be fined UP to 10 deutschmarks which was about £1.00 (it WAS a long time ago)He then fined me 50p. I said sorry in English ( of course I pretended I couldn't understand a word he was saying - the first resort of any foreigner who is caught doing wrong.)

Hm, that's right, as I remember very well from my time at school... I once got shout at by a teacher I didn't even know for having green hair. It was quite impressive, although I didn't know what he was trying to tell me.
The strangest language I know is dutch. I don't know how it sounds for you, but a german who hears anything in dutch can do nothing but burst into laughter. It seems completly impossible to me to express something beautiful, sad or serious in dutch.

Hail left ear of the gODDess!!

Since I am (in my human form) of the Dutch persuasion, I feel a bit sad when seeing your comments about our language.
Actually I do not see that German could be more suitable for expressing beautiful thoughts ('scheisse') then our lingo.

However I would be very interested in leaving hu-man kind for what it is ('Nice species but what the hell are they doing')
and would thus enjoy being part of your conspiracy (ssshhh!)

greetings

Kermit Albert III

Hey-ho, Kermit Albert III. (What happend to I & II ?)

First, let me say that I didn't want to be rude to your or your language. As you may see in the 'discussion' I had above with androyd, I don't have a very I opnion about german, either.
Anyway, every language is as good as another and what we think sounds good or funny or whatever just depends on what we are used to. For me, durch sounds rather funny and I will continue to laugh about it, but I don't want to offend anyone who speaks dutch. When someone's used to it and believes it is the most beautiful language in the world and laughs about german, that's fine to me.
It's all about strange noises humans produce to communicate with each other, so I think we shouldn't take it to serious.


After this words, I like to welcome you, Kemit Albert the third, in my conspi- uups ! Which conspiracy exactly do you mean ?
The "Leave humanity"-project isn't a conspiracy. Fnord. But I'm happy you joint, anyway...
If you wanna join a conspiracy, I can offer that, too.... What about the Incarnati Discordiae ?

If I offer you a general, we-hide-aliens, we-kill-popes, we-make-secret-testings-in-the-unitedstatesian-deserts, we-raise-the-price-of-fuels conspiracy, would you join?

I have one of these for you, but don't talk aloud, since I don't want the wrong ears to listen.

I created MAILER-DAEMON, that mysterious being that bounces e-mails, but don't let anybody know

Ah, well...

I think I don't like your kind of conspiracy, for I am a pope myself, and I don't wanna be killed.

[ See http://jubal.westnet.com/hyperdiscordia/popecard.html ]

I think you might be one from my EVIL conspiracy (we are the GOOD ONES , of couse).

But, anyway, I join your conspiracy (just to steal your secrets, spread decay and subversive thoughts etc.)

So, what do I have to do to join ?

Ah, well...

I think I don't like your kind of conspiracy, for I am a pope myself, and I don't wanna be killed.

[ See http://jubal.westnet.com/hyperdiscordia/popecard.html ]

I think you might be one from my EVIL conspiracy (we are the GOOD ONES , of couse).

But, anyway, I join your conspiracy (just to steal your secrets, spread decay and subversive thoughts etc.)

So, what do I have to do to join ?

Evil? Evil? Where am I supposed to sign?

If you want to steal our secrets, go on, we have a lot of counterinformation agents who will mislead you, and turn you into the wrong path, and make you believe there are aliens where there is none, and make you believe there are no aliens, where there are plenty of them!

Anyway, we are not working on aliens only! As I told you before, we've got a lot of killing conspiracies, secret medical testing conspiracies, and the one I like best: did you know Bill Gates is a double agent? He's really a Free Software advocate! [http://www.gnu.org]

Ah, and Ronald Reagan wasn't just an actor. He was just one of our agents. The same with Gorbatchev

Anyway.

To join you must pledge allegiance to the Evils (we). We badcome you, and will provide you with black paint and logos with ugly pictures on them ASAP. We won't require you to make a tattoo of our group now; we've run out of poisonous ink. But when we're provided some, we'll call you.

We're divided in cells; only two or three persons at a time know each other. Noone knows how big this Organization is. Some say it's 1 billion members wide; others say it's just a conservative 999 million.

We'll contact you. This forum entry will be destroyed after 15 years.

Do you really believe everything you wrote ?

Then I got bad news for you: Everything you know is wrong !

You believe in the lies we made you believe as part of what is known as "Operation Mindfuck".


Hahahahhaha !


PS: We had to kill Diana because she was pregnant with Elvis' child.

Of course I don't believe what I write. There is a third meaning in everything. Or a fourth one. Or even a fifth one. Or not.

Haha, we made you believe you were tricking us. What you thought to be true was really false, and what you thought to be false was true. Or the opposite way, I can't quite remember. Anyway, what you believe to be true might even be true! Or not.

Confusing? That's what the Aliens from Ganimedes told us when they met us. Or when they didn't. Or perhaps someone did but it wasn't them. Or everything at the same time. Oh, it's sometimes so confusing... or not

PS: Elvis is alive. Yes, anywhere he is, he lives in our minds.

PPS: There's something fishy about all this

There's only one thing left to say:

All affirmations are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense.