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Post 1

LL Waz

25 minutes to midnight, I could witter on about chickens again or something but while not writing a journal I read Hypatia's for today. The isolating effect of unshared memories reminded me of the shock it was to find out decades later that my sister had no recollection at all of an evening, a pretty momentous evening I thought, that happened when we were children. We were both there, she was eight, not too young to remember. Even though we'd never discussed it, I just assumed she knew. She must have completely lacked the knowledge of the context that would have let her know what was going on.

It felt suddenly lonely. but if events like that shape who you are, and people know who you are, those events are in a way telling their story, or a part of their story, through you. Kind of.

One minute to midnight. Time to stop wittering and Store Journal.


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Post 2

Mrs Zen

I have the bed that my grandparents and later my parents had. I often wonder what happened to all the conversations they had in it. (I prefer to avert my mental gaze from the thought of anything more than conversations). Where do memories and events go when the people have themselves gone?


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Post 3

Mrs Zen

PS - I felt a similar sense of dislocation, not so great, but still unsettling, when I realised that my ex and I remembered and forgot very different things about our marriage.


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Post 4

LL Waz

Sorry I didn't answer that before. Before you went lunch (I hope it's a good lunch). I'd find that very unsettling, it would make me question the reality of my own experience. Was it all just my interpretation, or was it real. But maybe you were referring to events - as I was in last year's journal. When I read that PS I read it as referring to feelings, ways of doing things. Kind of.

When you live on your own, you come to opinions on things, and that is how it is. In your world, that is how it is. After decades of living life only through my own eyes, I've now had four years of sharing life. It takes getting used to that now we might both come to different conclusions on something - and that's how it is. No clear answer. Both views, in parallel, are part of life. Personal lack of decisiveness is familiar. This new lack of clarity, a continuing existence of choice, is different. It's sometimes frustrating, a decision made can be filed and moved on from. But it's more interesting.


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Post 5

Galaxy Babe - eclectic editor

My memories of my childhood are quite sparce, yet I can distinctly remember incidents and the odd conversation. I don't remember our joint Confirmation Day (I was 15, my sister was 11) but my sister can recall the events of that day from waking to going to bed. I'm so lucky to have her, she is the one constant in my whole life and I hope we end up together in a small cottage, sharing our memories surrounded by cats.


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Post 6

Websailor

I am an only child so this thread really made me think. I have very distinct memories of some things, both good and bad, but other things I have totally forgotten, and there is no-one to refer to for information.

Several years ago I met up with an old school friend accidentally after 45 years, and on chatting I found things I remembered about our shared childhood left her completely blank! Perhaps we all place different emphasis on events according to our nature?

Perhaps different memories of things are why witnesses to the same events can give such totally different descriptions of events and people.

Websailor smiley - dragon


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Post 7

AE Hill, Mabin-OGion Character of inauspicious repute

I was the oldest of six children born over a period of only nine years. As such, I can validate that your conclusions regarding memories is consistent with my experiences.

My Mother created some family history binders as gifts. They have become family treasures. [She is an only child.] These binders have also been the source of many discussions. Usually we learn something “new.” Sometimes we find blank spots. But the point is that sometimes we have quite different recollections of the same events.

As a personal interest, my study of psychology made me wonder about the same questions you ask. With our resources, I conclude that it is a bit like discerning the meaning of a dream. It is very hard to correlate our personal nature to some of these differences. It is more like five witnesses to one accident. What each remembers is different and not easily accounted to personal bias.

So I say, make what you will of your history, that is what any other historian does [smiles].


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Post 8

LL Waz

So much for historical fact ...

I know what you mean, and I know what Websailor's referring to in differing witness accounts. It does disturb me that so much of what I take as real, as undisputable fact, is in fact the product of my own brain cell's subjective interpretation.

Communication, constant communication is the answer - making sure all this subjective experience is shared with all available nearest and dearest to come up with agreed, mutually reinforced, stories. No not stories! Records. Records of events. That's it.

Psychology is fascinating but I could never have handled studying it. Too, too many ifs. I took refuge in Maths. No grey areas, it's right or it's wrong. It's neat and complete, and perfection is possible smiley - ok


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Post 9

Websailor

<>

The problem there is that most of us leave it till it is too late, especially with family stuff. I have no-one now to refer back to for memories or history.

Psychology has always interested me, but as you say it is not an exact science and so many mistakes have been made in judgement of criminals for example that it worries me.

As for maths I was always bottom and then three, though I have improved a little. I prefer words smiley - biggrin

Websailor smiley - dragon


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Post 10

logicus tracticus philosophicus

<<Communication, constant communication is the answer....
Yes as Martin Harper said...
Write for your reader. If you are not writing for your reader, why are you writing? If you are writing for your own benefit, write on the back of an envelope, don't publish it, and don't waste our time. If you are writing for our benefit, show it.

If you don't put any effort into your words, you show that you don't really care about them. That's fine: perhaps you don't - but if you don't care, why should I care? If neither of us care, the whole process is a waste of time.



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Post 11

LL Waz

To be truthful I’m not clear in my own mind why I’m writing these journals and they’re confused as a result of that. It’s for my own benefit, but if it wasn’t visible and it wasn’t possible that readers would read it, I wouldn’t take the care with words or with thinking things through to even the limited extent that I do – and then there would be no benefit had because I’d neither enjoy the word craft bit nor get the perspective that comes from writing the journal.


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