h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Why do you never log on?

Oh, and...

"WHO!?!?! Who DARES to rob me of my natural born right to eat a friggin' bowl of wheaties!?!?.... WHO!?!? I dont understand. can someone please help me? IM DYING INSIDE! ohhhhh how i was looking forward to the delectible crunch of a beutiful golden brown flake of happiness my fragile world has been shatered!!! i feel so cold....
hello??? hello?? is anyone out there? sombody? anybody? OOHHHHH I could have admired the way the bowl gently cradled the milk like the hands of a loving mother.... OH NOOOOOO OH PLEASE NOOOO NOOOOOO! Its gooone all of it its all over WAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAA..............
....
.... hey that pop tart looks pretty good.

AHHHHHHH IM SOOOO BOOOOORAAAAAD sombodyhelpme!!!!!!
buisness class is killing me!!!!

Once upon a time...

There was a little boy who was bored in business class. He was so bored that he spent all his time surfing the internet and hanging around forums instead of paying attention.

One day he found a very strange home page. It was called...Hey little boy, do you want some candy? *leer, wink* He thought "Wow, that sounds great!" So he clicked the yes link. And do you know what happened?

Well how the hell should I know? I'm just making this up. Stop playing with the computer and

PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR TEACHER!!!!!

Ok, fine, I'll tell you what happened. When he clicked the link a big hairy error message popped out of his CD-ROM drive and dragged him kicking and screaming into cyberspace. Since everyone else was paying attention to the teacher, no-one saw it happen. And he was never seen again.

The end.

So MLEAH!

:-p