A Conversation for Red Clay and Four Doors
Hey Buff, I want to comment on your story.
Marinamer Started conversation Apr 14, 2008
Let me tell that I like the idea of telling the dream in straight forward sentences, sort of choppy, pausing from one abrupt action to another because that is actually how dreams are or happen. Things just happen in dreams without much logical transitions.
Plus, the pebbles left me wondering about what their meaning was. You mentioned them in the beginning and then you said that you still had them in your hand before the dream ended. Supposedly, in our dreams, little objects like your pebbles always mean something. Are you aware of the meaning that your pebbles have, for you. Question: Do the pebbles mean something in the story?
On the other hand, it'd make the story more catchy if you could also expose what you or the speaker is feeling or thinking as things are happening in the story. What is going on in your mind when you open the door and you find yourself in the night again? Are you afraid, anxious, peaceful. I feel that if you humanize the narrator a little more, then people might identify more with the story.
and you know what, don't give away that your're dreaming in the end. Leave people guessing. Puzzle them.
Keep it up!
Marinamer
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Hey Buff, I want to comment on your story.
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