h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I try to hold my head up, even when I do a terrible thing. Let me give you an example: My Mother called & asked me to come over to assit in the preperation of dinner. She freezes a variety of veggies at Summer's end to enjoy until the next garden harvest. I was sent to the cellar, which I not so jokingly refer to as; the dungeon, to retrieve several bags of goodies from the chest style freezer. The cache was getting low so I spent some time rearanging things. Placing empty boxes on the bottom to take up space and raise the frozen treats closer to the top. Proud or my accomplishment, I headed back upstairs, arms full, ready to pitch in.
As time went by my Mother every so often would open the back door to call for her long time companion 'Pepper'. A lovable little black tabby cat. Pepper always came when Mom called. We were starting to worry. Since my Dad had mown the lawn eariler, I checked the shed, just in case she had gotten herself locked in. No cat. I left the door ajar, just in case. Starting to think the worst, I looked under my car and out into the street. Still no Pepper, thankfully. By this time Mom was following my lead, opening all the doors in the house. We thought she must be shut in somewhere. I said,"Mom, there must be someplace we haven't searched"?!? Our eyes met. It dawned on us at the same time. We cried out,"The freezer"! I raced down into the cellar fast as I could go. As I neared the room with the freezer, I had a terrible sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I flung open the freezer door. There was Pepper! Stiff as a board. I don't remember if I screamed. In shock, I carried my Mother's beloved pet upstairs, tears streaming down my face. The look on my Mother's face made me want to crawl under the nearest rock.
I laid Pepper on a towel on the kitchen table. Mom was nearing hysteria. Not one to give up I hurried to the phone to call our Veterinarian. Dr. Lonz had saved Pepper in the past, if anyone could help it was he. The receiptionist put me right through to him. He said there was one chance. I had to get her to gasp deeply enough to
start her breathing again. I yelled to my Mother to get the first aid kit. Dr. Lonz said to break an ammonia inhalant under her nose. When I re-entered the room the contents of the fisrt aid kit were strewn about. My Mother barely able to speak said, softly,"They're all gone.
It's over". I shouted, "This can't be happening!" Then my tearful
eyes focused on the door to the shed. I grabbed an old dish towel and ran to the shed. Next to the mower was a can of gasoline. I poured it all over the towel and raced back into the house. I rubbed the rag all over Pepper's face. Within a second or two the tiny cat gasped for air! Her eyes opened wide. She jumped from the table and ran wildly around and around the room. Then, just as suddenly, she fell over and lay motionless.
Sad, isn't it?
But not to worry. Pepper wasn't dead. She'd just run out of gas!
The moral to this story is: Even after telling such a terrible tale,
I am still able to hold my head up high!

I thought I was weird.

Thanx for making me laugh.

Dear Doctor John (P.St.C.C.), you probably are!!!
Glad you got a laugh out of my twisted mind! I usually just get GROANS!!! I absolutely ADORE your title! Finally...a Saint that
is here for ME!!! I'll pray to you. Although, I doubt you can be of help! WINK!!! Off Beat & Proud Of It...Pandora

Don't bother to pray; just drop messages on my home page and I'll be of no assistance whatsoever.

Dr J ( on the occasion of the first birthday of H2G2)

I can't believe I read that whole story and believed it until you went for the gasoline!!

I wonder if it makes people mad... being tricked? That was'nt my intention. Before I wrote it, I told the 'story' to a friend who became tearful as I neared the end. Not one to hang onto a guitl trip,
I finished the tale and was rewarded with a hearty laugh (as well as
several choice words). {'~'} *Pandy is thinking*



So, you don't think gasoline could revive, say, a person who'd fainted? Hmmm, I'll try harder next time. Thank you for the feedback!
A Greatful Pandora

LOL. Good one, Pandy. You had me going til the bitter end. I'm going to visit your homepage more often.

alicat, glad you liked it! I'm verrrrrry bad! Have'nt done much w/my
Home Page (yet). But I've got lots of things floating around in my head! Guess it's time to type them in! Thanks for the feedback!!!
Yours, Pandora - E-Ya' 'round the party sites!

I'm there, Pandy.