h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

No mention of these abominations that claim to be modems, when if fact they only do half the job?

Hmm - yes. Nasty, horrid things. Always check the specifications on the modem box before trying to install it in your PC; a friend of mine bought one which refused to work because it demanded something like a 200MHz Pentium to operate (he had a 166MHz machine)... we exchanged it for a proper modem, which worked instantly.

Oh, and you can't use those beastly things under Linux (as far as I'm aware) because you're missing the extra software layer that the manufacturers write for Windows.

But you can stamp on them, if it makes you feel better.

Azimuth

I did a short stint for a worldwide ISP a couple of years ago and an awful lot of customers of a major UK chain (beignning with Dixons and ending in Group) had been sold a particular brand of PC that came with a 33.6k winmodem as standard. We hated getting those people on the end of the phone because all we were able to tell them was that they'd been sold a duffer and to get hold of something else ASAP otherwise they'd never be able to log on. It was easier than actually performing the fix...which, as has been alluded to above, is to stomp the winmodem into its component parts and mail them to the manufacturer with a note attached saying "this is pants".

You can get winmodems to work under linux. If you've got one which has the Lucent DSP chip (I think, don't quote me on that one). The others won't work, mainly due to no-one having spent the time to write the drivers/dsp code needed.
I went out and bought a no name external modem and it works a treat and has lights on the front to check status as well.