h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Since Lucas has been bugging me about this, I figured that I might as well right another journal entry! Now don't everyone jump up and praise the lord all at once! You might throw out your back or something! As I am writing this introduction I am tying to decide on how deep I should go with this journal. I could go the whole nine-yards but that probably wouldn't work out to my advantage, considering certain peeps read my journal. Or I could go the softcore route and just talk about the indiscriminating things going on in my life. Now which would be the better read and provide more entertainment? The uncensored, contreversial, directors-cut version or the Disney version???? Hmmm..... that's a toughie....I know! How about I start out with the Disney and as I go I can develop the entry into the contreversial smorgesbourg that is my specialty! Does that sound good? Excellent! I know that some people are going to read this and think that i'm being mean and unsensical (unreasonable for all of you who aren't me) and stretching the truth soley to provide entertainment value and to make my life seem interesting and pointfull... but that is not the case. I will not tell stretched truths! But hey, I may scream them once in awhile! HEHE! But anyways on to my journal entry! For all of you english buffs out there, this will be a non-standard penticular-type expository/psuedo-narrative multi-paragraph composition!


Tyler Sabourin... A sixteen year-old kid... An uneasy childhood, an unforgiving teenagerhood, an unspectacular life. Who is he? what does he want? where will he go? when will he grow up? why is he the way he is? how does he react to the system? Hell, how the blink am I supposed to know?! Tyler Sabourin, caring friend or coniving b*****d? Girlfriend stealer or pathetic bachelor? Funny man or Jack? Only time will tell... well the time won't actually tell you, it may tell you the TIME if it's one of those fancy digital clocks! But I digress, the purpose of this multi-paragraph composition is to describe what is happening in my life at this moment in time, this... precious kernel called the present! But I digress, my plan is to first talk about my educational life, carreer aspirations, school lookings, blah! Then I will discuss my relationships with my friends and not so friends. And finally I plan to talk about my mental well being... but since I don't like to plan stuff, I am just going to ramble and let you figure out which is which! Muhuhahahahaha, I am so evil! I wonder how close I am to the biggest post of the week? From the looks of it, pretty close, and I haven't even started to ramble, This is just my introduction!!! SWEET! Let me just hop off of that MAJOR tangent! There we go! But anyways I think I should start the rambling machine (do not expect great grammer, punctuation, or spelling skills from here on! ~Pengy)

Well, school is going alright, I have the found the college that I want to go to. It is the Center for Digital Sounds and Imagery (CDIS) in Vancouver. It is a private college but is well worth the money! It has a three-year course which is all about Video Game Programming, and I am so going into it! What you need is strong math skills (Algebra and Calculus preferably) and some basic programming knowledge plus initiative! I have the strong math skills, except for the calculus, and i need to learn programing. But nope! My schedule for next semester is Biology 12 in A block, Art11 CAPP11 and work experience in B block, Math 12 in C, and Chem 12 in D. I want to drop Chem 12 and Bi 12 'cause they are just Jabroni classes, and take Calculus 12, and then have a block to work extensively on programming. But nope! The school needs permission from my parents to do this, even though they didn't need permision to sign me up for the original courses! And geuss what? My Dad wont let me drop the courses! He says that I have to keep my doors open and be a well rounded student! Bulls**t! What are those courses going to get me? Some crap-ass general studies course in University which won't get me anywhere into the carreer i want to be in! Ohhhhh, I can be a crap ass computer network/biologist dude! Doesn't that sound fun??? HELL-NO! You know what sounds like fun and IS fun??? Video-game programming! Thats what! But nooooo I'm going to be screwed out of going to CDIS because i have to take BIOLOGY! Do my parents respect my decision??? Hell no! They know whats best for me!! Bulls**t!!! I know whats best for me! But anyways, enough of that! I've been looking around for bursaries and scholarships, found a couple that I think I could get... I already have one for a thousand dollars which is pretty sweet ass! But anyways, there are a couple things that are p**sing me off lately... mainly it is all centered around my 'friendship' with Lucas. I don't know, it's gone down hill majorly, basically ever since he hooked up with Megan. I know that Luke is going to freak out because of what I said, but he can stick his head back in his arse, 'cause if he can't see where i'm coming from then that's where his head has been all along. But anyways, the whole declination apexed about a week ago... basically what went down with out me getting into details is that I made a lame joke about Meg and he s****d out. But hell, I want to get into details! ! SO what went down is this: The day before the 's**z' i was goofing around being the preacher priest Tyler James I was going around spreading the word and blah blah blah. So, say if someone hit me i would forgive them, so Luke goes and like hits me, hard, 15 times, so I forgave him each time and then i skimed him with a gut shot he stopped, it's all good. Next morning I decided to contrast the previous day by being the devil. So I put spikes in my hair and goto school, My devil is rather softcore before school starts, so I kick it up a notch during 1st block. I say something about everyone of my friends girlfriends. Like Byron asked why I was horny, I said 'cause of his girl. Jack says something, i conteract with a kwip about how his girlfriend has a nice ass. Luke doesn't give me a sunchip so I say Im going to lick his girl. Nothing serious, but they all get offnded and corner me at recess. Luke slaped me, byron kicked me, and jacked hit me on the head with a binder. Ok, every one is even, it's all good. So I was joking around with Jack about the binder shot and then suddenly luke comes out of nowhere totally s****d, jumps on me and like takes me down. I'm going what the f**k 'cause I don't know what the hell he is doing, so I try and stand up, he sits on my head and punched it! So I just hold up my hands and tell him to get the f**k off of me. he gets off after awhile and then leaves. I just stand up in the middle of the lounge and go what the f**k is going on. Everyone around is saying the same, people are telling me to kick his ass, and I inteded to do so (apparently Luke wanted to kick ty's ass ~pengy) so I just stand here, waiting for him. He like pusses out. So I sit down and ask my friends what the f**k just happened, they like shrug thier shoulders. Like, If you were trying to prove to your woman that your a Big man lucas, you sure as hell didn't prove anything. You showed that you could jump a FRIEND you didn't even see it coming! You showed that you are a cowardly little s**t! You want to prove that your a man luke? then why don't you confront me face to face? Why don't you take it straight on, instead of blind-siding me? Come on, you run your mouth, you backstab, but when it comes to confronting someone face to face, you s**t-spin and run. You obviously have a problem with me, so why don't we deal with it? You know, You are like a little freaking Stalin! Paranoid of eveyone! I can't believe you accused me of even thinking of trying to steal Megan! So what if I like her? Friends come first, and if you havent noticed, she doesn't even dig me! (nor you really ~pengy)! F**k, your even paranoid of JOSH! Like how pathetic is that! You use the whole excuse, oh well my last gf dumped me for you (tyler ~pengy) bs! Yah, so that means im going to try and steal your girl??? Hell no! Your last gf, if you haven't noticed, was ,to put it bluntly, stupid! I don't even like her like that! AT ALL! And yet you've hated me ever since! You can deny it all you want, but you know that its true! Why then would you even say to me that you would kill me if i stole megan from you, or if she even dumped you for me??? Why the f**k are you so insecure?? Like jesus christ get a fricking spine! get some god-damn self-confidence. Oh wait i'm sorry, you've had a HARD life and we should all pity you! Well f**k that! There are lots of people who have had tough lives, and they sure as hell don't act like you! But just because your Lucas, we should all dig a fricking ditch and then CRY YOU A RIVER! Well, you can suck on a beavers Kabob! This pity me s**t, is going to get you anywhere with me, or other people! It just doesn't work! And what the hell is with all of these s**z outs? You've liked s****d on me 4 times!!!! And im not talking about getting angry, im talking about completely losing it! Have I ever actually hit you? HELL NO! then why the hell all the s****z?? You sure as hell don't treat your others friends like this, you don't even treat your enemies like this! So basically, im drawing the line! I've got a couple desicsions I have to make, about our bussiness an other things. I can tell you right now that, im on the verge of just backing out of Sasquatch Designs. And that's another thing... after the s*****d atttack, you like tried to patch things up I geuss, and your main point for us to be firends again is because we have a bussiness! What the hell is that?? No, im sorry or we're still friends BLAH BLAH BLAH! Just 'we have a job to do'. what the hell is with that! Oh yah! You expect everyone one to see every side of the story and you yourself will only see your side! NO comprimise whatsoever! But I have to goto bed so i'll finish this later.

Ciao!

(and this conclude Part 1 of Tyler's Journal posting! Tune in tommorrow for part 2! ~Pengy)

Tyler, I have no idea what to say. You make me feel like s**t, and I want nothing to do with you anymore.

Goodbye.

Lucas

I dont know what to say, I was a wreck when I read what you wrote. Sorry for what I wrote earlier, we need to talk. I dunno when I really can because I think we need to talk a lot. I work tomorrow, and on Saturday, and I am busy sunday, lets talk on monday, or tomorrow at school maybe even. I will see you

Lucas