h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well, if you don't know who Ho #1 is then, well, it is NESS! Here is whats on my mind:

I used to think that your laugh was beautiful. I thought that it was as pure as a glacier waterfall. But now, now... your laugh has turned sour. It imparts with me, the impression of a rotting corpse, with fetid breath, making a sick gurglling sound while retching out maggots and endtrails. The waterfall has been polluted and poisened with the evils of your soul.

I used to think that your voice was one of reason and clarity, and when you opened your mouth I thought that it was the most angelic sound I had ever heard. But when you open your gapping maw now... all I hear is a high pitched anal whine. I hear mumbles and giberish. I hear excuses and lies.

My mind's eye used to see alot of beautiful things, but now, the curtain has been removed, and all it see's now is a little, pathetic animal, dying in her lies and evils.

"That this foul deed shall smell above the earth, With carrion men groaning for burial." - Mark Antony

~Tyler Sabourin