h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hello, welcome, come in, sit down.
Would you care for some donuts (I spell it the American way because it's easier).

Alright, down to business. I have a wild idea in my head for building a hotel. It will be linked to the Forum and Firkin, the Aroma Cafe, and any other places you care to mention. I will beg, steal and borrow snazzy GuideML from other researchers to give it a *look*.

I would value anyone's input.

*takes a doughnut and starts eating*

I haven't got much input (I'm here for the doughnuts) - but I reckon you've got to have a cool piano/jazz bar in there somewhere - you know, a cabaret sort of thing. And doormen with those posh uniforms and stuff...

Is it going to be by the sea, or in a city, or what?

I reckoned by the city, but in the posh district, you know.
The jazz/cabaret-type entertainers and doormen will be recruited when I actually build the hotel.

I just got back from obtaining some GuideMl code for a neon sign

I suggest enlisting the help of a Jedi to head the security.

I suggest you get the basic design right first.

Computer, dim the lights, and start the hotel-building program.

* a grey box appears *

Now, add three scary-looking turrets.

* They appear.

Talk away, everyone!

We hold these truths to be self evident that all men are created equal and -- oh, I didn't know you had a particular topic in mind.

High-clarse but with neon, hm? You're going for the Cognitive Dissonance Look, then.

I've heard that Manuel Noriega will be looking for a job when he gets parole, and what would make a better doorman than a man with bad skin and the uniform of a Panamanian Dictator (ex)?

I don't get it.

Manuel Noriega was formerly the leader of Panama. I use the word leader cos I'm not sure whether he was elected or not. Anyway, during the Bush administration (1988-1992), the USA invaded Panama and brought Noriega back to the USA, where he stood trial in Miami on drug-trafficking charges. I am not making this up.

Noriega, whose terrible complexion earned him the name 'Pineapple Face', is still serving out his term of imprisonment in a Dade County prison. He has apparently become a born-again Christian. I am still not making this up.

No offense, Jedi Knight, but how old are you? The above events may have been before your time.

14.

And Jedi Knight is my job, not my name. On the H2G2 I'm called YK; my IRL (sort of) Star Wars name is Dylco Alpro.

Well, sorry; without prior acquaintance you can understand why I made the mistake. I tend to assume that whatever is not in parentheses is real name.

Anyway, I see I guess right. The Panamanian Invasion, which President Bush called Operation Just Cause (I am not making that up, either) predates your span of attention. History will probably bear out the darkest speculations of the American people concerning Bush's motives for this action: we believe that Bush was deeply involved in something known as the Iran-Contra Affair, that Central/South American drug money was used to fund gunrunning operations, that Noriega was part of the loop, that Noriega foolishly tried to put some kind of move on Bush coming up to the 1992 presidential elections, and that (under pretext of drug prevention) Bush quickly took Noriega out.

Not to get off-topic or anything, but you did ask, and I like a complete answer. I still think Noriega would make a splendid doorman, because he had a wonderful tropical-white dictator uniform, all covered in medals and shiny buttons and big epaulets.

Ummm ... thanks.
So, how long will it take to do the sign?

You can't do a sign until you know what it is supposed to say.

Chrome's Hotel?

It must say "L'hotel du Chrome" as that is what the hotel is called.
Incidentally, I have made the name flash neon util you can make the sign.

Hang on a sec, I use Netscape but I also have Micrapsoft Internet Exploiter...

Looks nice.

If OK with you, I would like to correct the French to

L'Hotel Chrome

This also fits on a sign more easily. I'll try and work up a couple of alternatives. Is your hotel ultramodern, Art Deco Titanic, Disney Whimsical or what? The sign needs to match.

Ooooh, I'd say Art Deco Titanic. I *love* the classy style of that era. Yep, lots of that around.
(It sounds like I don't have the slightest clue what I'm talking about, but I do. Honest.)

A sort of 20s, 30s type thing. like the Cosmopolitan in Greene's Brighton Rock.

Or the Chrysler Building in New York City. The art deco style had lots of chrome. OK, I have the details I need.