h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My most improbable day was when the earth disintegrated to make
way for new hyperspace bypass. Hello my name is Arthur Dent, and if you couldn't tell from the first sentence my life is pretty strange. In this essay, I plan to explain that this was one of the most unusual days of my life because of the morning, the afternoon, and the evening.

This day began with me getting up and brushing my teeth. I looked
out the window and saw a huge yellow bulldozer, this didn't concern me at the time but I didn't know what it meant. I kept thinking "Yellow" in my head over and over again. Then I remembered they were going to tear downmy house to make way for a new bypass. M. L. Prosser wanted me to get up out of the mud where I was laying down right in front of the bulldozer so it didn’t knock my house down. Then out of the blue came Ford Prefect
(whom I thought was a out of work actor but really came from a small
planet somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse) and said the world is about
to end and told me to come to the pub. So I told M. L. Prosser to lay in the mud in my place because I was going to the pub. So he came over and laid down in the way of the bulldozer so it did not knock my house down. Ford and I went to the pub.

After that, a huge Vogon ship came down and said they were going to
build a hyperspace bypass and they were going to have to disintegrate earth. Since Ford actually came from a planet somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse he knew how to hitch hike across the galaxy so he took out his giant electronic thumb and hitch a lift and brought me with him. Then the Vogon’s destroyed earth and went into hyperspace. Then the Vogon captain came on the intercom and said something that sounded like a man fighting off wolves with water in his mouth. Then Ford told me to put a fish my ear and said it would translate everything I didn't understand. He sounded insane but since most of everything that happened before was I decided to do it it sounded something like babble babble babble babble nice day
message repeats we have found out that there to hitch hikers aboard. If you lucky we will just throw you out into space but if your unlucky I will read you some of my poetry first I hope you don’t have a nice day. "The hitch hiker's guide" says this a Vogon poetry, is the third worst in the galaxy the first worst poetry writer was disintegrated along with everyone else on the earth. The Vogon called us up onto the bridge and decided to read us some of his poetry. Then he threw us out into space.

In the 30 seconds we could survive in space, on the 29th second a
ship picked us up. The ship's name is the "Heart of Gold" which is a ship that runs on improbability. The ship's robot called us up to the deck and we found out the captain was a three armed two headed man whose name was
Zaphod Beeblebrox who is Ford's second cousin. The other captain was a woman who I met a party on earth and completely failed to get off with and Zaphod came up to her and said "Get away from the loser baby I'm from a different planet." She said "Well was true wasn't it."

As you can probably see this was the strangest day in my life, but
ever since then they’ve been getting more normal to me, since I can't go back to earth. I feel sad about the earth sometimes but then I remember that it wasn't very fun down there anyway. After that day things continued to be like that until I finally got the hang of it. If you don't know why this is one of my most improbable days then I suggest you consult a psychiatrist.