h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well I've had one of those days at work, I can't write lots cos I have this clause in my contract that means if I say too much ....(. If you are in HR where I work I didn't write the previous piece, Hounest) but having to work in call centre, My god do people leave there brains off the hook when they phone ? I work for a company that decided a long time ago that every caller should be able to speak to a person and not a machine and to add to that on an 0800 number too. Now Im prepared to admit that the majority (just) of our customers have got a brain and can use it but I wish to nominate person X (you know who you are) for a special award.
Firstly I promise you this was a genuine call that I took.

X "Im having some problems logging onto your service"
Me "Okay, what have you done so far ?"-non sarcastic I am professional
X "Well when I enter the user name and password you gave me I keep getting Authentication Faliure"
Me "Right is this in software Q ?" - Software Q is one of the two parts of out software, the part the sets the computer up.
X "What is software Q ?"
Me "Well the first time you click on our icon on the desktop..."
X "I havn't got your Icon on the desk top"
Me "Can you tell me what is on you desk top at the moment" - There follows a description of several Icons, none of which are ours.
Me "Have you ever had our Icon on your deasktop ?"
X "No"
Me "Sir, I think the problem is that you never installed our software." - Dead pan, there is no other way!
X "Oh Thanks" - cust goes away happy and calls back 10 mins later to say its working fine now.

I also discovered that he had been using our login details with another ISP on thier login screen...
You see what I have top deal with! Its a wonder I'm only half mad!

Scarlett (Musing from the day time but in dark glasses)