h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Have an interview tomorrow morning.
Key things to remember.......
Smile
Make eye contact
firm hand shake
wear nice perfume
not tooo much perfume though
If I do wear tooo much perfume, hope it's one that will secure the position
Don't say #$%^, *(__, @!@@, or *&^%
Well, try not to say any of those words
If I were to say any of those words, let me use them in their proper context
Listen carefully to the questions asked
Simple, short, consise answers, not tooo much information please
No jokes from my end
If the one interviewing me tells a joke, laugh like hell even if I don't get the joke
Remember that I'm good at what I do
Remember what I do
Don't be nervous
If I am nervous don't show it
Remember that I am also interviewing the employer
Pray
Pray
Then pray some more
Shine the shoes
Write down the address with directions and phone number in case I get lost
Plan on getting there twenty minutes ahead of time, not two
Don't interject any personal information
Be myself, but a bit reserved
Don't bad mouth any former employers, it's uncouth and unkind also not ever necessary
Go to sleep early
Break a leg kid