h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I try to keep a schedule that fits my sleeping patterns. I am an insomniac, but I'm also a night owl in general. I don't get to sleep till five am most nights. I don't have a job right now, just school. I don't take any classes before one pm so I can get enough sleep. A lot of time I'm still late. I was late to class today so I didn't go. I just came to the library instead. Shame on me.

I know how you feel about being sick of being in the same place. I want to move away so bad. Not necessarily move, just go away and travel for a while. If I had the money I would be doing that right now. Actually, I could do it without the money, but my mother would worry to death about me. So, for the time being, I'm stuck here feeling restless.

Geez, no class before 1, must be nice! I was never able to swing anything like that. But then I only went for a year. And by the end of it I was pretty much keeping a schedule as you describe anyway, despite class (up until 5 or so, sleep until mid-afternoon). What are you (supposedly, hehe ) studying?

I could deal with just travelling for a while as well, but I'm not confident I could do it without having a stockpile of money. I could do it anyway, run up tons of debt, since I have lots of available credit, but I guess maybe I'm a bit too rational to be *that* frivolous. Where is it that you are stuck? I'll bet you've said somewhere, but I've forgotten if so.

Oklahoma. It's ok, but really boring.

I'm a sociology major. I really am interested in it. I want to do well in school. but, I'm just feeling kind of apathetic right now.

I could travel without money or credit. I would just need a traveling companion or two. I'm not about to hitchhike by myself.

Lessee, 21, are you a senior now? Only a bit more to go you know. But I know the feeling.

Eek, hitchhiking. Sorry, that just doesn't sound like a good idea in this day and age, even with a companion. Listen to your mother.

No I'm not a senior. I didn't start college until three years after I finished high school. So I still have a ways to go.

I'm not that afraid of hitchhiking. But my mother would freak. That's why I won't. I love my mother.

That's good then.

So I see, so you've only just started this college thing then. So what prompted you to wait? Or what prompted you to change your mind about not going?

People's opinions of school and why they want to do it always interest me. I'm just a college dropout myself, I went for one year and never went back. And I used to vow I never would, although that becomes less certain as time goes on.

Well, I was hardly a model student in high school. Aside from college, I haven't finished out a complete school year since 8th grade. In high school, I ditched all the time and slept during all my classes before lunch. I dropped out during what would have been my senior year, because I knew that if I stayed I would still be in high school when I was twenty. So, I dropped out and took my GED the next day. I waited so long to start college because I knew that I would slack off. So, I waited until I wanted to go back to school, and it has made all the difference. My first two semesters I made a 4.0 GPA for the first time in my life.

I wanted to go back, because I needed a change. My life was stale and I didn't have anything to look forward to everyday. So, I started back to school. I go because it's fun, I get to interact with people that I wouldn't meet in my regular activities. I always liked being at school and being around people, just not the work.

I'm starting to want to slack off now and that is a bad thing. I have to keep going to school full time until I'm 25 because of my dad's income tax. I still count as a dependent as long as I'm in school, if I wasn't they have to do all this paperwork so I can be a 'sponsered dependent' and everything gets all screwed up.

Right now, I would really like to stop going to school and get a job and move out of my parents' house. But, I can't. Why don't I just get a job anyway? I will ignore my school work if I have to keep a job as well. I know that shows a lack of drive or willpower or something like that, but I want to enjoy my life and I need as little stress as possible.

Does this satisfy your curiosity?

Why did you vow to never go back? And why are you doubting your decision?

That's quite impressive, really. Seems like you're doing things for the right reasons, which is good.

When I went to college, I don't think it was. I was just expected to. I did well in high school, and I was into science and math stuff. I majored in engineering at college, and low and behold, it was difficult! This I wasn't prepared for. Plus, not only was it difficult, I hated it. I grew to despise the physics of it all. Ick. So suddenly I was left with no direction. Here's one direction I definitely no longer wanted to go in, but it was the only one I'd ever known. So I stopped, dropped out. Did a lot of working.

The reason I did and still do view college as sometimes totally wrong and why I have at points sort of vowed not to go back is because I don't agree with the concept. I don't agree with not needing 80% of what you "learn" once you're out in the workplace. I think I'd probably enjoy the work of engineering, but I don't agree with the path to get to where I could do it in the eyes of the establishment, and the end didn't justify the means for me.

About a year and a half after I dropped out I started working for the place where I still work. I've been able to invent my position. I've changed job roles several times over the 8 years I've been here. No one has cared about my lack of college degree. (In an indirect way I got the job originally because I didn't have one!) The two company owners don't have college degrees either, and I work directly with them. It's been great most of the time, great environment, great coworkers, lots of freedom.

But I've neglected myself. I have a fair bit of knowledge and aptitude in the IT area, but I don't have anything that shouts "marketable skill". This is why I don't rule out going back now. But then again, I make this judgment before really testing it. I don't know that someone else won't hire me, and possibly for more money at that. IT workers are in very high demand. This is something I'm going to be testing soon. I'm at the point where I'm ready to move on. This small company doesn't seem like it's going to get moving. The owners are disagreeing and with no consensus I can't move forward really. And I think it's just time. I want to move somewhere else (not anywhere in particular so far, just away) and do something new with new challenges and better defined goals.

Had I managed to keep myself in school and gotten a degree in computer science or something, I'd be so far ahead of where I am now. So I feel a bit of a slacker. I had many chances to be ahead of this curve. I try not to dwell on that, but at the same time I can't continue to sit here on my ass either.

Yeah, I know what you mean about learning more than you have to. I have to have college algebra to get my associates, even though I'm majoring in sociology. Personally, I like algebra, but I hate the way we have to do it, using graphing calculators. I can't stand them. But other than that, I'm only taking things that I'm interested in. I'm not going to school just to get a career, just to gain knowledge in things I'm interested in.

I can imaging how you feel about wanting to do something new. I don't think I've done anything for 8 years in a row. I say go for it. I think that you should do whatever makes you happy. That's what I do. That's one of the main reasons that I don't have a job. I'm probably not going to get one unless I come upon an interesting one by chance. And, I'm not going to work somewhere where I'll have to compromise myself. Like dye my hair a normal color.

Don't feel like a slacker. You've been working all this time, so you're not one. I think slackers are people who never do anything productive of any kind. Don't dwell on the past and what could have been, if you had done things differently you would still be thinking that you should have done it another way. The only thing that would make you a slacker is if you're not satisfied with where you are at this time and don't do anything to change it. But I know that you will, so I'm not worried.

What is IT? I'm not very up to date on technology and stuff. To tell you the truth, when I saw 'IT' I thought of the Stephen King book.

Algebra. Hm. If I could have gotten by with just algebra I think I just might have survived that year of college.

I think it would be excellent to just go and take what you're interested in, that sounds very good in fact. And that's another reason for not being so absolute for me, cos someday I just might do that a bit myself, when I don't need to worry about working towards a degree or anything. But for many things I find I do better getting knowledge on my own. Classroom learning at the time I was last in classrooms didn't do much for me. That could change for me with time, but for the most part when I want or need to know something I keep up with it a fair bit on my own.

You know the thing is I haven't done the same thing for 8 years in a row; that's what's been good. Indeed if I had been stuck doing the same thing for something less than that long I think I'd have been out of here long ago. It was about 2-3 years ago that I took on the role I currently have, and without significant change or forward momentum it's just stagnant.

IT (sorry about that, I very nearly thought better of using that abbreviation) is information technology, a handy two-letter way of saying computer shit, basically. Nearly everything I've learned about computers is self-taught. Some of my lament comes fromt the fact that I surfed the web long ago enough to have used Netscape 1.x when it was the current version, and even dabbled in my own homepage then. Had I latched on to the idea and taught myself HTML and been more into it, I could be way better off. I used AOL before it had web access. I used CompuServe before AOL existed (a little bit). I've had my current same account for something in the vicinity of 5 years meaning I've been online in some way or other for about 7 or 8 and used computers to some degree since I was a kid something around 20 years ago. I'm always using this thing, always hanging around the net now. What better place would there be for me? And with all that past, why am I not farther ahead? I know I can't dwell on that and stay very sane but it's hard not to think about it sometimes. And it's hard not to think of where I might have been had I stayed in or gone back to school and gone into computer science instead. (Oddly, that just didn't seem right at the time.) Well, where I'd be besides a lot more in debt, that is.

So anyway, I have been in this role for about 3 years. I do computer support for the little company I work for. And I'm also a database developer, almost, in a way, a software developer. And that, in fact, has been and was meant to be my main project through all that time. I got a small bit of training in this database software, and I use that to add features and make changes to an in-house database application. This includes designing what is seen on the screen, designing what prints out and knowing the language in order to make the features of the thing work. And where we are right now is that there aren't any clear goals as to where we should be going as far as its development, the two company owners are in disagreement about various things (that aren't necessarily related, but it keeps me from getting any direction). The company's too small for me to be the one making decisions on what this software does. (In a larger company, someone in a comparable role might be responsible for those kinds of decisions.) So I'm here, stagnating. And this particular database stuff I know is not that widely used, and we run stuff on Mac OS (and my personal computers are also Macs) which is not as widely used and I have no actual education or professional creditential to stand on. Not too marketable.

So that's where my hope lies, that the shortage of workers in the computer field is so bad that some other companies are willing to take a chance on someone with no degree and a few years of not particularly relevent experience. Lightning strikes twice? Who knows.

It sounds like you have plenty of experience to me. I'd hire you.

That sounds like a cool job. I enjoy using computers, but I would prefer to work with people. I haven't been using computers for 20 years, but I have for a long time. My dad had a Commadore 64 when I was little and I played games on it. He also wrote some of his own games, like Mastermind. He said I used to want to help him write, so he would tell me what to type. He said that it would take him three times longer with my 'help', but he liked that I was interested. I also wrote a computer program when I was about 10 or 11 when I was in the gifted program at school.

I just want to help people really. I had a lot of problems with being an outcast during junior high, and my counselors made a lot of mistakes. So, I might be a school counselor, so I can help kids like me.

In order to get that last comment better, it might help to see this http://www.h2g2.com/A284933

That's the letter that introduced me to several people including my current employer. A pretty unusual situation, especially considering that in the intervening 8 years I've rarely known this guy (the main owner) to read a Sunday newspaper.

Hey, you snuck in a response there rather quickly.

That sounds really cool actually. All my early computer experience came from outside sources until I had my own. My parents are still struggling with the things. (Mom has one now, though, and does reasonably okay. Dad's too stubborn and impatient to get anywhere with the hand-me-down someone gave him. )

I don't think I've yet outgrown being an outcast...

That's really cool.

I would never have thought to do that. So, the guy you work for read that and decide to hire you?

He offered me a job essentially based on reading that yeah. Well, and after meeting me too. I came up here to meet him and a couple others in the company. And in fact strangely I don't even think I brought a resume. Writing a resume has turned into this huge undertaking in my mind. But it is where salvation lies.

It seems to me like you know how to make things happen for you.

I'm not an outcast anymore. More like a deserter (or something like that). I think I realized that I wasn't meant to fit in with 'normal' people. I think the main reason I didn't have many friends in elementary school is because I was smarter than most of the other kids. (I hate saying that, do I sound arrogant?) I'm happy being who I am now. I have been since 9th grade when I decided to stop caring what other people thought about me and just be myself. Then I got friends who liked me for me. The funny thing is that by my senior year, people who made fun of me in jr high were saying hi to me in the hallways. I think that's all because I was finally comfortable with myself.

I've got to get out of here and try to get to sleep. I have a test tomarrow.

Here's a tip that might help you sleep. This helps my mother ALL the time and me some of the time. Pick a movie that you've watched a lot and that you like. But not something too exciting. And, play it while you're trying to sleep. Sometimes the familiarity of it will help me sleep. But sometimes it backfires and I get into watching the movie. When that happens I just start it over again, then it usually works. I watch MST3K videos, my mother watches Dirty Dancing.

Well, good night. And, good luck.

This thread's getting too long!

Outcast. Sounds like you turned that around okay. I never really stopped being one in high school. I'm not still in touch with anyone I know from college or before, at least no one that's anywhere my age anyway. (I have a couple of middle-aged friends that I've known for 10 years or so.) I'm sure I create it myself. It started in elementary school. I was smarter than most of the other kids too. (Don't worry about sounding arrogant; you don't. I think I probably fail at that sometimes though.) I have a few friends now who like me for me. They're mostly at distances, though I've met several of them in person. I don't mind having a small number of good friends versus a large number of more superficial ones. Much of this is I'm sure my own creation. But then I don't fit into standard social circles, I just don't.

I don't really know how to make things happen for me. I just get lucky occasionally. I sure don't know how to make anything happen in my personal life!

Watching movies and sleeping are mutually exclusive. The TV's in the wrong room. The only way that might work for me I think is if I could drift off with it on (else I'd want to stay up and watch), and that just doesn't work unless I want to sleep out on the couch.

Heh, it's very odd how I can treat this thread over here almost like email or one-to-one chat even though I know anyone who wants can read.

Good night. And good luck yourself, on the test.

It's pretty common for me. I'll tell anyone who's interested all about me (with a few exceptions). I just like people to know where I'm coming from. I like to hear about other people as well. So I know where they're coming from.

I think I was responsible for me becoming an outcast as well. Although I didn't know it. Example:

When I was in sixth grade, every time I got back to home room, my chair would be on the other side of the room. Meaning whoever sat there last was moving to talk to their friends. This really pissed me off, so I would vent and say things like 'this chair must be possessed or something'. When I was in ninth grade, this girl in my gym class remembered me as 'the girl who thought her chair was possessed'. This girl was really stupid, and that made me angry.

See what I mean?

I don't think anyone knows how to make things happen in their personal lives. Exibit A- me. I tried so hard to make things happen with That Stupid Boy, and it got me know where. (I didn't type 'know' on purpose, but I like it. )

I'm kinda in a daze right now, I haven't been feeling well today. How about you?

GreyRose

Oh yeah, I was late to class on thursday. But, I still got to take the test.

Well I hope you're feeling better then. How'd you do on the test?

I guess the best way of describing it is I'm open to people who are open to me, as far as what I talk about. If people are more closed about themselves, I pretty much remain that way. Some things I'm just more open about in general than some others. For instance, I don't really make attempts to wander around the net without people knowing my real name. I've been around too long for that to really be very possible, and besides, I just don't care. Plus, just maybe it gives people who are wary of net things a bit of reassurance.

I have all sorts of odd things with outcast-ness. School was one thing, but even now, I mean. Even among people I know are friends! I was in Miami a couple weeks ago with a handful of people I've been talking to online for a year or so (two of whom I'd met before actually). And we're all really good friends, there's no doubt. But I had times where I sat quietly among them with my mind just going "you know, you really don't fit in with these people" and wondering why on earth they'd want anything to do with me. I'm insanely shy and introverted which helps conspire to keep me alone a lot of the time. I'm not sure I really know anymore how not being an outcast feels like, since I just assume the role in any given situation...

As for personal life, I'm not quite sure if I'm meant to be think right now that I'm in the same spot that you are with that stupid boy or not. Time will still tell I guess. Perhaps time will work in my favor.

You must have posted right after I got out of here. I had to page my friend to talk to her about the academy awards, and to help me with something I'm doing. But she never called me back. Her pager has been flaking out on her so I'm not upset.

I know what you mean about feeling like an outcast even among your friends. That happens to me a lot. I'll be sitting w/my friends and I'll just start thinking that there's no way that they could really like me. Also, if I'm waiting for someone to call me, I feel like they aren't calling because they don't really like me.

I have to make myself realize that it's all in my mind, and most of the time it is. Whenever I'm right about people not being my real friends, I try not to worry about it, since I'm not really losing anything. This doesn't happen to me very often, because I can usually tell whether or not someone is a 'real' person and weed out the bunsholes early. I'm lucky that I have this ability. Because of it, I have a small circle of friends (like you) and I have a huge circle of aquaintences (sp?), and a few enemies.

Consarnit! I just forgot what I was going to say. I hate it when I do that.

(This isn't what I forgot.) I'm feeling better now, thanks. I was mainly feeling bad because I didn't eat enough that day. When I'm having fun I sometimes forget that I haven't eaten until I start to feel sick.

Did you see the academy awards? Or, even more important, any of the pre-shows?