h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I would greatly apreciate any suggestions for wording, both humorously and formally, the announcement of the father of the brides speech and the mother of the brides speech.
I dont know either of them as I am on the grooms side of the familly. I dont wish to mention anything about the father of the bride being the poorest person in the rooms because I dont know who paid most for the wedding.

I would prefer to be as breif as possible but with a little humour.
I have only ever been to one wedding and the MC was a member of staff (and I was slightly intoxicated) so i remember little of what he said.
So i am not entirely sure how best to formally word the announcements.

I could easilly be humorous if it was just my familly because i know what tickles them, but strangers might not get my young, eccentric humor! So i would prefer to just add a couple of one liners.

Any suggestions?
Thanks,
Matt.

Hi Matt - and welcome to h2g2.

I'd be very wary about cracking jokes as MC - for one thing you wouldn't want to upstage anything the others might say.

Yes! good point!

ANY OTHER SUGGESTIONS PLEASE

I suppose you could just be deliberately formal and pompous.

In a British context, something like

"My Lords, Ladies, and Gentlemen. Pray silence, for Mr Otto Fisch, esquire, Father of the Bride".

I think that's all that's needed.

If you want to spice it up, have a look here for advice:
A21776754 A Guide to Saying Grace in Latin