h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

How does one enjoy life to the full?

Oh, that's easy: just stick to hootoo.
Seriously, you'll find many friends here if you stay on the site, and you'll broaden your horizon and enjoy this aspect of your life. Well, I do.

i am a miserable dont ask me

*waves Hi B *

Hi Intern.
Einmoto, I'm sure you'd get much more replies (of any sort, though), when posting your question on <./>Askh2g2</.>

listening to George Galloway sticking the boot in to the house of commons when ever possible not pulling his punches either

Hi B'Elana, when do you sleep? Or do you work through the night? What do you do? I mean, to get the most out of life? Eat chocolate? Watch a movie? I paint, (not walls)!

I like it here, there are a lot of people. But thanks for the advice.

Hey, don't give advice like that Bel. How do I...? is supposed to be the equal of askh2g2 and I for one am subscribed to it, so I'd like to see it used more.

From what I understand living life to the full involves spending lots of money on drink and other mind-altering substances. In a few years (or less depending on your finances) you'll be broke and possibly in other trouble, but you'll be able to say you lived life to the full.

Or you could stick to the and movies.

Hi Bagpus.
You're not related to the Timothy Leary, are you? "Turn on, tune in, drop out!" How about a natural high? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turn_on,_tune_in,_drop_out

They say, however, that the works of Huxley and Sartre, could not have been written with the use of mind altering drugs.

Hi EINMOTO, what do I do to get the most out of life?
Nothing much, really. I talk with my friends on here and try to meet them when I get the chance. That's it, really. Oh, and I don't work during the nights. I usually go to sleep really early, it's only now and again that you'll see me online that late in the night.

Bagpuss, only few people seem to be subscribed to 'How Do I', and I've never considered it an equvalent to 'Ask', btw. I thought htis was more for technical questions.

Somebody on here said that if your happiness depends on other people you can never truly be happy. If somebody had told met that when I was twelve my teenage years could've been a lot easier and happier!

B'Elana is right about H2 - sometimes folk on here come up with real gems that get you thinking.

It is very true that your happiness must not rely on the actions of other people. I alos dispute this idea of being happy in life, as tough we have to go around perpetually catatonic with contentment. I really don't seee it that way.

I live a full life (for me that is) I travelled a lot when I was younger, now I am raising a family. For a loner, I have made many firm friends on hootoo and I have learned a lot about interacting with people. Mainly though, I have learned a lot about myself, my own reactions and apparent needs and prejudices. This brings me to the thing about happiness. At this point, I feel ok with myself, there is little anguish or angst. Not much has changed, other than my attitude to stuff that happens. I have finally grown my thick skin

To me, being happy and satisfied in life, and feeling that you *are* living life to the full means being content with your own state of affairs: who you are, the things you do and how you feel. It then means taking things as they come - not being totally lax, but being able to meet the unexpected. It also means giving yourself permission to be a bit reckless once in a while. However at the root of feeling that you are living life to the full must be the knowledge that nooone is happy all the time (unless under the influence ).

True happiness is an averaging out of 85% ; 5% and 10% - just focus on the and commit it to memory.

Sartre said in his book No Exit "Hell is other people" and certainly other people can affect the way you are feeling (if you let them).

I'm not saying the one has to be "perpetually catatonic" state all the time, but dwelling in the past and being negative is also not the answer.

The Buddist believe that life is suffering, but the trick is to avoid the suffering. http://www.buddhanet.net/e-learning/5minbud.htm

You said that you "feel ok" with yourself. Is this really enough? I have lived a similar life to yours (strangely enough) and I now am striving for bliss (Bliss being a state where one is happy and contented for no apparent reason). I too have also grown a protective skin, but I still give people a chance and have only been disappointed on few occassions.

I hardly read the newspapers or watch the news on TV because it is so negative and addictive.

I recently stumbled across a book called The Secret www.thesecret.tv which was very interesting. The author blurb on the website states:

This is The Secret to everything - the secret to unlimited joy, health, money, relationships, love, youth: everything you have ever wanted.

This book/film looks at the historical notion that what we live and think determines our future. I find it quite uplifting and something going against my academic and scientific background.

However, my experience is that the older one gets, the more interested one becomes in the notions of life, death, etc. So, I guess I should watch out.

I like the bit about "giving yourself permission to be a bit reckless once in a while". I see lots of people (my age) saving, and saving and saving for a rainy day. This is what I call "War Generation" thinking. Some how we have taken on this theory that "there is not enough to go around" mentality. But jumping off a bridge with a bit of elastic around my ankles is not my cup of tea, thank you very much!!

I have 4 children and I work with people of all ages and I'm sure that this keeps me young. I feel young (most of the time). I keep my mind active. I try to learn new things (technology, books, ideas). I drink plenty of water. Daily I go for long walks with my dog. I try to find the good in each season (very hard in the winter!). I strive to be creative and I try to give when ever possible (a smile, a compliment (sincere), donating my time for good causes).

Another fine book is Deepak Chopra - Creating Affluence - if the absence of money is your thing.

I've been asking myself the same questions as you for years, Einmoto. Happiness, and lack of, is a fascinating thing.

"This is The Secret to everything - the secret to unlimited joy, health, money, relationships, love, youth: everything you have ever wanted."

Any secret that good won't stay secret for long!

Do you meditate Einmoto? I certainly experience bliss sometimes when I meditate. And the post-meditation chill is utterly blissful too! Sometimes I feel like I'd like to stay in that state for hours.

Flow, by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi is an interesting read, as are books on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, which have helped me to see how distorted thinking can affect my quality of life.

One always has to remember the saying, though: "As soon as you ask 'Am I happy?' you cease to be so".

I think about meditating often ... I do a little Tai Chi, occassionally with my children.

Thanks for the book list.

I don't know how you manage to do anything relaxing with children around! With the meditation, once I'd meditated enough to get through the "Oh my god, am I doing this right?" stage it became pretty easy.

I believe (as Buddha also said) that it is the wanting that creates suffering. You know how they say that wealth is relative? How wealthy you feel depends on how wealthy you feel There is a whole economic theory attached to it, but basically it boils down to an old piece of advice handed down through the wimmin of the third world - if you want your man to make more money, spend more money...

I digress. There are two things to the happiness issue. One is how happy is happy enopugh and the other is whether or not others can knock us off our happy perch.

Happy enough is absolutely relative. It depends on our individual needs and desires. Money is what some crave and a sweet smelling baby is enough for another. I think it is the craving that gets us. I have in my life a woman who craves beauty. She *will not* grow old. She looks stunning. At 50+ and three sons later, she wears crop tops and looks thirty. I am in my 40s and I look like her mother. She hates to be around me because of this. On the surface, she should be happier than me (by her own measurements, anyway). She is so anxious all the time you can feel it coming off her in pulses. I truly truly pity her, in the most wholehearted way. I feel so sorry that she cannot see that she *is* beautiful, that she has so much (money, a good husband, great sons, lifestyle...). She makes me very sad in one way. She also helps me see how absolutely blessed I am not to have such an awful burden of fear to carry around in me all the time.

She used to make me miserable.... knocking me off my perch, so to speak. She would be snide and underhand, she would manipulate situations to make me feel stupid and clumsy. I desperately wanted her to like me, she married someone very important to me. As time has gone by and I have watched her (for 27 years now) living her life, I have realised something that people used to say to me and I never believed. She was envious of me (I feel so arrogant saying it). I have always been who I am in my head and not in my body (does that make sense?). I never really cared how I looked. I married a man who has many other things that concern him before he would consider wasting his energy on this issue (his response to my question on the subject several years ago). As time has passed I have realised that her misery is eating away at her. I began to wish I could help her in some way so I make some approaches to her. Her reaction stunned me, she was rabid with fury. She thought I was trying to undermine her. So now I stay away.

All in all I have slowly learned what happiness is to me. I need to feel that my conscience is at ease so I act accordingly and when I mess up, I apologise and/or repair. Candidly and up front. I don't sleep nights otherwise. I feel pain for others and have always been a 'helper' but I have learned that some people I cannot help. For whatever reason, I seem to perpetuate their problem. So I have excised myself from these people's lives. I am a loner by nature and it occurred to me that this was not healthy (least of all for my children) so I am teaching myself to socialise thorugh hootoo and that has added to my RL skillset. That makes me happy - the feeling of achievement and positive effort.

I do my job well - not so well that I need everyone to be perfect but well enough that everyone is satisfied. I am a wife, mother and housewife. My job is to oil wheels and provide necessary infrastructure and services (how cool does that sound Must put that on my cv ). I do it well then the ones I love perform better. Their joy at their successes makes me happy too. So I still permit others to increase my happiness quotient but it is rare that I allow them to decrease it. Doesn't always work, of course. My kids are sick or distressed and I am beside myself. That will never change. However, knowing that my friends will rally and help makes me feel much better about it all.

It is all relative, in fact. Bungee jumping is not my thing either My exterme sport at the moment would be neglecting the laundry for a weekend

Bel - You're right of course, but this has still grown into a very interesting thread.

I'd like to try bungee jumping, though I don't know if I'd go through with it given that I once wimped out of an abseil. The following day the abseiling was declared unsafe which made me feel less wussy.

Hello Guru Roghan Josh.

I feel sorry for the parents with just one child. As I have stated I have 4 (some one to pay for my pension later) and we always have a full house here. But strangely enough, the children play amongst themselves, leaving me - most of the time - to do my thing. However, I am very priveleged to live in a big house with lots of land. So the children/wife/visitors disperse.
I've made a decision to wake up tomorrow and meditate - between 3 and 10 minutes is enough to start, I have heard.

Hi Wilma.
You are right - how long is a piece of string? Being rich and wealthy but having no one to spend the money with is poverty pure.

Your "happy perch" idea is very true,too. We knew a couple - almost perfect - it was sickening. I've sure that everyone was very jealous of their relationship at the time. As the old adages goes, the higher up the harder they fall. Eventually, with life as it is, they did come tumbling down. I learnt a lot about this event and used it in my own.

How can you be in close contact with this woman/friend? Love/Friendship is blind. I feel like picking some flowers for my wife when I hear your story. Not everything that sparkles is a diamond (sorry for the cliches that pour from my computer).

How can you put up with this bad behaviour from your friend? Anthony Robbins offers the advice of making two lists. The first, a list of an ideal woman/man (friend/partner/boss): and then the worst thinkable person. Then tick those attributes on the list that are tolerable (eg. Smoking, (bad breathe, etc.). The third part is to look at what you want in a partner (eg. thin, sporty) and then look at yourself and see if you yourself are thin and sporty!
The act of writing down what you want also garantees that you will avoid what you don't want and attract people into your life with the attributes that fit you personality in the future. Please do this for me Wilma! It is important. You are important.

I hate wanting to help someone that has a problem, but does not want to change. Incredibly frustrating. So now I am a cheer-leader (as Timothy Leary said). I lead by example. Then if someone asks, how come you are so happy/rich/good family man I can honestly reply.

I love your description of yourself as mother, wife, housewife as "to oil wheels and provide necessary infrastructure and services!" Great!

Forget the laundry next weekend and MAKE THE LIST!

Hi Bagpuss.
I once had the opportunity to abseil in Scotland - great fun! But I am still a wussy when it comes down to Bungy Jumping!!