h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Another James Burke fan...who knew?

Hi Alaska! I figured since you were nice enough to stop by my place, is was only fair that I gave your's the once-over. Very good job! Oh, who am I kidding...I'm just as big of a dork as anyone, so you know you'll get an honest opinion outta me. If you need any help getting around this place, just let me know.

And Plano, TX huh? I grew up in Oklahoma City, as you read, and we used to drive down to Texas for fun. I don't recall going through Plano, but after Austin everything just seems to get fuzzy...

Hey there...

I know what you mean. I dated a girl from Austin, and she was a little fuzzy.

What do you do up there as an Okie from Muskogie? And you must be about the only one in the state that has ever heard of James Burke.

Well, it's either watch "Connections" on cable or Professional Wrestling...your choice.

I live in St. Louis now, for the obvious reasons, but I just got back from visiting the ol' homestead. It's just as flat as I remembered it to be.

Yes. I just saw an old girlfriend from Oklahoma, and she, too, was just as flat as I remembered her to be.

What keeps you busy in St. Louis? And if you are ever in any specialty stores there and you see some James Burkesque glasses, please get them for me. I want to wear them to parties and really creep out my friends.

I...well, We, being my roommate and I...well, really just she...well...

There's really no comfortable way to admit that you may actually have an actual pair of glasses actually lying around the house that actually look like the actual glasses that James Burke actually wears, is there?

But we do. And they do creep me out, yes.

Really? That's too funny. You could use those glasses to focus the energy from the sun and burn up the entire food supply for a small African country. They are so large, they almost resemble two Hubble telescopes in orbit around one's head.

You are up awfully late... You should be asleep. My granddad said that nothing good can happen this late at night. He also said never to trust a one-legged salesman or a woman until she gets out of the car -- because "that car door can hide a lot of sin."

Be careful with those glasses. Just by having them, you may be breaking some myopic penal codes in your state.