h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A recent study of Western Happy Pentecotist Idaho State University demonstrated that the French life style could help you live longer. The French, the researchers say, may live up to 237 years thanks to their extensive use of three precious remedies: cigarettes, wine, and mistresses.
Other studies, notably by the world famous South Rural Lutheran and Sometimes Baptist North Dakota University, show that these three remedies must be used together and in huge quantity before they become effective. While some Australians have already developed a healthy addiction to wine, their usual aversion for nicotine and other people's wives still put them at great danger. Similarly, the Chinese may be doing well on cigarettes, but they still need to get used to the virtues of red wine and adultery. The Italians, finally, are standing close behind the French. Where the French man usually cumulates three to four mistresses, however, the Italian male is usually happy with one, which partially explains why the oldest living Italian is only 178 years old - a youngster by French standards.

So, be healthy, live like the French!