h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Is the grotto open yet as I have been a very good boy and am hoping that you will bring me a big pressie come christmas day. Also grottos in shopping centres won't let me in because I'm 24 which I don't think is fair.
I would like to leave a carrot for Rudolph but I only have this which he should like.

Well, hello Santa!
*sits on lap*
*I* still believe in you, even though I'm so old, almost as old as YOU!
your beard!
Hey, you're much cuter than I ever thought...you're not so chubby as your pictures would have us believe, eh?
Chunky, but not grossly obese...
What a pity you're married...
*wipes away tear*
I've been a very good girl this year...honest!
What do I want?
I'd be happy with a kiss & cuddle & some TLC
*hops off knee*
*places on Santa's table*
Bye, Santa, see you next year!
*waves to Rudolph*
*flies off*

*floating in, in her usual vague, elf-like manner*

*climbs up to sit on Santa's lap*

All I want is a quarter note music smiley, to sing christmas carols, you know? Got connections? Oh, please... *tilts head sideways, pleading look in her eyes* ~sweet smile~

*climbs down, placing a mug with steaming hot Glögg on Santa's table*

*cuddling Rudolph before drifting off in her usual v.e.l.manner*

(Glögg? Explanation found here
http://www.h2g2.com/A425521

Well thank you Niz, My reindeer really like sweetcorn. I'll make sure Rudolf gets it.

Are you sure that you've been a good boy? You weren't mixed up in that snogging corner at the h2g2 party were you? I've checked the photo and I don't seem to be able to see you there, but if you were, I warn you, you'll probably get a piece of coal this year. Terrible behaviour, terrible...

Well hello there Galaxy Babe.

Nice to see you again. How many years is it now? 32? Well my dear, you're *nowhere* near as old as me.

What a pity I'm married? I hope you're not trying to make out with Santa? Naughty girl. I leave that kind of behaviour to my elves, , they get up to all sorts of mischief, I can tell you...

A kiss and a cuddle for Christmas? Well that certainly seems fair. Here's one from me, and I hope you get many more. Have a very good new year Galaxy Babe.

*squeals with delight*
Ooh! Your beards!!!
Thanks, Santa!

Hello there Titania.

Are you sitting comfortably?

Thank you for the nice mug of steaming Glögg

A quarter note smiley *is* a really nice idea. And I'll see what I can do. But first I'm going to have to fulfil Peta's request for a four person community team, and Jim Lynn's for 25 hours in the day. Dear me, Santa's work is never done.

In the meantime do please try some of my bubbling Christmas cheer...

Oooooohhhhh! How I wish you'll be able to fulfill my wish...

*sips bubbly Christmas cheer*

*wondering how on earth she'll survive the excitement until Christmas*

You seem like a nice girl, Galaxy Babe. Here have another ...

Perhaps you'd like to help me organise the 's a bit. They got really plastered last night, it was their last night off before Christmas, and they got really out of hand.

In the end I left them sleeping it off with the

Needless to say they all smell *awful* today, and need a good bath. Maybe you could help me out, they're stubborn little folk...

Leave it all to me!!!

*dragging in a HUGE bath tub*

Elfs and Elves! In you go! Now!

*stern look*

*pours PLENTY of bath salts into water*

*spots an trying to hide behind Santa's chair*

Don't even think of it!

*grabs elf by the collar and throws him into tub*

ooh!
Thanks!
Will you share my?
Or would you like one of your own?
*offers glass of*
Girl? Hehehe
I am a grandma, now!

I don't believe that for an instant!

Hi there
I'm glad to see that you are looking after all my friends so well!
I AM rather worried though! I just saw you on the excellent City Hospital programme on the BBC, and they diagnosed you as suffering from carpel tunnel syndrome (from controlling the reins of the ), a back which needs urgent surgery (from hauling all the 's), and were concerned about your weight and drinking problem!
I DO hope that you will wait until after the 25th December for all those operations they suggested...
shazz

*hopesgets well soon*

Huh, doctors, what do they know. Nothing a bit of elf magic couldn't sort out... Oh that, and a nice bottle of scotch and a lie-in. I'm feeling much better now.

Glad to hear that!
eh?
*leaves a bottle of& removes alarm clock*