h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So much has happened in the past 3 weeks.

Where to begin? Hmmm.. I guess my first todo is apologise to myself (and anyone else who reads this sill thing) for not staying on top of it more diligantly. For what it's worth, I have a new program (action names) for the Palm, and it has a journal feature, so I can just scribble away whenever the mood strikes me. I'll transcribe some of the meatier elements form there the next time I sync up at the house. Ok... now that the semi-pleasantries are out of the way... On to bigger news. AT has been staying with me at the apartment for the vast majority of the time these last couple of weeks. We went to disney with my friends the hippie-folk (whom I love dearly, the B's especially) and I finally met D's pal L. AT adopted a Kitten, and he's living at my place, too. Newton gets along with him ok, but plays too rough with him sometimes. New Kitten is black & white splotched, and is named Fritz. My relationship with AT is ging mostly well, but I did catch her in a deliberate fib to me... my feelings were hurt, and I confronted her with it... I don't imagine it'll happen again. For her sake, I still will assume a level of trust, but if it happens again, I don't know where my head'll be. I care for her very much, and I just hope I'm not too much more head over heels for her than vice-versa. Her relationship history has been rather rough, and I'm guessing that I might be the first worthwhile person she's had a relationship with. I don't think that she's too emotionally hurt to make for a good relationship, and I don't mind too much that we're going relatively slow. I think I caught a cold from her via PC (CP? not sure how to abbreviate the name.) Going to see One flew over the Cukoo's nest with RC and AT this sunday, and DC/RH Saturday for a movie. Sat nite is AT and me at the hippies place for a going away party for DW... I'll miss her, she's a sweetie. She just got a great tattoo of a butterfly on her back that sister CB drew, has Kenya's name in it & a stylised "sister" as well. I have loads of pix from disney... and the butterfly is included in there (I hope it came out). That, and I gave AT a dried rose from the haunted mansion...

I walked into an ice cream parlor and saw this flyer for a rubber stamp party on the wall. It should be blamed for most of what you are reading right now. No matter how I picture the events of a rubber stamp party, It scares me to death. I can't explain the visions of madness in my head, but imagine a mariachi band made up of midgets building penis shaped sand castles and reciting welding part shipping lists. That's as close as I can come. The party's real bonus for me would be to hear the saga of Jo Ann Trail as she discusses her year in Saudi Arabia. She'll probably have fun anecdotes about the time she was sold for half a camel, or second hand stories from the nice old man she sat next to on the plane. Oh, I hope she dresses up in the black arab ninja chick outfit and brings those fun slides!


All stupid shit aside, It should be painfully obvious to anyone that this is just a bad front for an Amway recruiting party. After JoAnn is done showing off her new toll painting, she exits and returns with a white board. Then she starts giving speeches about impending financial success while drawing a very convincing pyramid of circles. "It sounds fascinating! But can even an introverted person with birth defects like me make money with it?" asks the fat woman JoAnn paid twenty dollars to earlier. After a couple more hours of circle drawing and estrogen, the entire room signs up to buy a warehouse full of window cleaner. And JoAnn smiles to herself. She knows that 2% of the net profit from every ninth bottle of Windex gets split between her and only 132 other people. "I will soon be rich," she thinks outloud with a small cackle. The rest of the room is too busy planning their future summer homes to hear her.

Anyway, after I read the flyer, I knew I had to have it. It was a few days old, but I thought it would be polite to ask the ice cream scooping girl if I could keep it. She looked like she spoke English, but I must have had to repeat my question four or five times. I've found there is no one more confused than a food service worker when you ask them about something that doesn't involve food. So after a series of blank stares and "ums," I asked the same question in frat. I said, "Hey, uhhh...could I get this flyer to help me and my frat fund our trip to Canada? I'm a Delta Iota Kappa, and we get like 25 cents? for every rubber stamp flyer we can find. Yeah, we're havin' a big rubber stamp rager this weekend. It's gonna fuckin' rule. Full kegs. Shit. You know, if you came, I could almost guarantee you'll get your tits grabbed. Here's one free sexual harassment card. What do ya think? Free beer for chicks. Bring like 20 friends." Something inside her finally started working, and she smiled and asked, "What frat again?" That's when I grabbed the flyer and leapt through a plate glass window to make my escape.