h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I was just taking a stroll through the H2G2 neighbourhood, meeting new people.

Welcome to H2G2! Where are you studying?

Hi!
I study in the Hague in the Netherlands. And you?

I'm currently studying nowhere as I'm a freelance journalist, but New Zealand is where I would be (and indeed, have been) studying if I was.

How's the weather up there in Denmark? It's kind of screwy here at the moment, being on the cusp between Spring and Summer.

OK! uhm... Well, I don't actually go to Denmark very often, so I haven't got a clue about the weather there ... the Netherlands is were I live (and the weather here is terrible - rainy and grey and lots of wind) and I think you meant Norway which is where I'm born and lived most of my life, and where I go 2 times a year while I'm living here. The latest weatherreport from my mum said it was pretty mild and no snow yet there. I'm hoping for snow when I'm leaving in a couple of weeks to spend x-mas there.

I'm kinda worried at the moment that the windows here will give up for the wind and blow into my apartment. They certainly sound like they're not going to stay in place much longer, and my curtains are kinda happily dancing along in the wind even though the windows are shut. It could be a good thing though, maybe then we finally get double glass windows that actually keep some noise and cold on the outside...

DOH!!! I knew you were from Norway, but the second geographical location just got lost in the cluttered attic that passes for my brain!

The Netherlands sounds a bit like NZ at the moment, except that it's the southern portion of our nation that's getting all the rain, and the north that's getting the wind. Actually I had a look at that Dutch program "Big Brother" a few months back and the wind on the outside cams was unbelievable! (That's about all there was, because when NZers are up and about, the rest of the world is snoozing)

ha ha
as if there's EVER anything happening in that house... Sometimes I just have to ask myself why I'm watching it at all, because basically they're just sitting on their sofas talking about... nothing really. I think you can't get much more action there than those winds!

How come you've heard of big brother anyway? okay, it's been on the news everywhere, but didn't think people were that interested in other countries

You're correct, it was on the news everywhere, and I don't know about anybody else, but I am quite interested in what goes on in other countries.

In fact, that's pretty much what got me interested in the Internet to begin with. I was training as a journalist, and wanted to do a research piece about Northern Ireland. So I rang the Irish Consulate to see if I could get hold of any Irish newspapers (to see things from their perspective). They did but I would have to travel 241 kilometres to read them. The nice woman on the phone then told me that the Irish Times had its own website, and I was pretty much hooked after that.

So now I keep bookmarks of various news sources from all over the world! And when I can, I investigate stories back to their source. For example, what I found amazing about the war in Kosovo earlier this year, was that I could get comments, reports and all sorts of propagandist nonsense from ALL sides, compared with the Gulf War which only present the British and American versions of events.

Oh, BTW re Big Brother, I thought the chickens in the yard were quite interesting.

I see... yeah, I love that about internet too... The fact that I can still read Norwegian news and even the local paper from Kongsberg, Norway on the net for instance. It's really making distances in the world quite smaller so to speak. What I really meant though was that I didn't think people in other countries were that interested in Big Brother, I just didn't phrase it that clearly

Do you know a lot of languages then?

Errm, only just enough to read (or at least get the gist). I can read some French and Spanish (the only languages I've actually studied). It also helps to know that there are certain "overlaps" in related languages, and to have a good supply of foreign dictionaries on hand.

Unfortunately, here in NZ EVERYBODY speaks English, even though we have TWO official lanuages (the other being Maori, the native tongue), and there isn't a lot of opportunity to practice any language learnt. So unless you've taken a "Mega-Memory Course" the lessons get forgotten quite easily.

And please, your English is flawless (and a lot better than most NZers I know).

Well, I basically just know English, Dutch and Norwegian. I had French at school, but that is all gone and forgotten about now since I never used it for anything. Dutch I basically learned by just being here, it's so much easier to learn a language you hear and use all the time...

Oh, shit... my spaghetti water is already cooking...Gotta go!

Spaghetti? Carbonara or puttanesca? Or is it the old student fave, Spag Bol?

Oh, just pasta really. Didn't have any meat, so it was the ultra cheap version of just plain pasta with ketchup. Can you tell I'm pretty broke at the moment?

Yeah, I remember what it's like to be a student. One trick is to pick up the odd packet of herbs or spices when you go shopping, and then add it to things like ketchup, spaghetti, baked beans, etc. That way the food never gets boring, and you get a chance to be creative in the kitchen.

Yeah I ususally throw in the odd herb every now and then, but I haven't really got the feel for real cooking. My cooking is usually limited to ready made mixes that I only need to add water or meat to, and when I want to eat something tasty I call for a pizza.

My fave student food (other than pizza or Chinese food which I didn't have to cook) was "Red kidney beans and Rice". It's a great comfort food for the cooler seasons, and allows for a bit of flexibility in preparation. It's also quite nutritional apparently, something about beans and rice together making a perfect protein, I can't remember exactly how it goes.

Here's the recipe proper (without improvisation):

1 can of red kidney beans (drained & rinsed in a sieve under the tap)
Approx. 250 g of diced ham
Onion, celery and capsicum, diced
1 can of tomatoes
Dash of Worcestershire sauce
A soupcon of molasses (optional - gives it a BBQ style flavour)
Thyme and sage
1 bay leaf
Cajun spices or 1 dash of cayenne pepper
1/2 cup of stock or water
Vegetable oil
Salt and pepper to taste
Cooked rice

1. Saute the ham in the vegetable oil on medium heat for about 3 minutes, and then the onion, celery and capsicum for 2-3 minutes.
2. Add the beans, cooking for a couple of minutes, then add the tomatoes (breaking them down if they're whole and allow to heat through.
3. Add the herbs and spices, and allow to simmer on low heat for about 25 minutes. Serve on mounds of cooked rice.

Note: if it's a little too thin, take it off the heat and add a tbs of cornflour mixed in with an equal amount of stock.

Alternatives:
A can of baked beans instead of kidney beans.
A can of baked beans with sausages, instead of kidney beans and ham.
A can of savoury tomatoes with onion, celery and capsicum already mixed in.
Cola, instead of molasses! Colas are made from a thick syrup base not a million miles from molasses.

I hope this has been of inspiration to you. My attempts to promote this particular recipe have not been greatly successful. Something to do with some side of effect of beans - can't imagine what...

Oh, thanks! Well, actually I'm not very fond of beans either, for reasons to do with their taste more than anything else... And if a meal takes much longer than 15 minutes to prepare I easily find the call and the extra money for some kind of delivery of food to the door much more worthwhile... I guess I won't make much of a housewife, but then again I shouldn't need to be one these days either thank god...

Okie-doke, tell me some foods you like and I'll try and come up with a recipe!

I love spicy and salty food (but not too hot, ketjap sauce is about as hot as I can take)but I'm not too keen on sweet and sour stuff, I eat a lot of grinded meat, pasta & pizza, potatoes (mashed, cooked, fried, baked...), carrots, fresh salad, taco's, rice, chicken filet ... and I don't know what I'd do without a ketchup bottle in the house.

I'd love to have a tasty spicy recipe for something with grinded meat, do you have a suggestion?

So you like cooking then?

I think I can provide both tasty AND spicy.

Ground Pork Omelette

Serves 4-6

1/4 cup vegetable oil
4 cloves garlic, chopped
4 shallots, chopped
250 g lean ground pork
1 tbs chopped coriander
2 tbs fish sauce (or soy sauce at a pinch)
4 eggs
red chilli flakes, to taste

1. Heat half the oil in a wok (pref. non-stick), and stirfry the garlic and shallots for about a minute.
2. Add the pork and stirfry until no longer pink, breaking up the pork as you go.
3. Add the fish sauce and coriander and mix. Remove the wok from the heat.
4. Beat the eggs and add the pork mixture, mixing thoroughly.
5. Clean out the wok (easier w/ non-stick), then heat the remaining oil. Ladle in 1/4 or 1/6 of the omelette mixture, depending on how many you're serving. Fry until the bottom is golden, turn & fry the other side. Keep warm in the oven, while repeating the procedure. (You won't need to clean out the wok every time, though!)

As for your other foods, and other provided parameters (ie quick & easy)

Anything-fried Rice with Chicken

Serves 1-2

3-4 tbs or more vegetable oil
300-500 g chicken breast/tenderloin, cut into 2.5 cm dice
Tomato sauce/Ketchup (I prefer sweet chilli sauce!)
Any of the following: chopped stirfry vegetables (capsicum, carrot, celery, garlic, onion), sliced mushrooms, frozen peas or corn
2 cups cooked rice
1 tbs Soy sauce
1/2-1 tsp Chinese 5-Spice Powder
Salt and pepper, to taste

1. Heat the oil in a saucepan or wok, and stirfry the chicken until white & opaque.
2. Add vegetables and stirfry for about 2-3 minutes (depending if you're using frozen or not).
3. Add the cooked rice and mix until the rice is coated in the oil.
4. Add the sauce (tomato, ketchup, chilli) & soy sauce, and mix until the rice has changed colour.
5. Add the 5-Spice & seasoning, and stir through, cooking for about 5 minutes.

And yes, I do quite like cooking, although I prefer to cook for someone, rather than just for myself. But on the other hand, these is a certain pleasure to be gained from eating something you know you've made from scratch.

I'm quite proud of the fact that I taught myself how to cook, one of the more useful skills from my time as a fine arts student (which probably accounts for my need for an "audience").