h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

When I lived in Cameroon I had three tie-dyed kaftans with gold embroidery round the neck, one of which I took into hospital with me when I went for tests to track the reasons for a high white cell count.
After four days, I had read all my books several times over and was grumbling both at the lack of visitors and whoever was moving heavy furniture on the floor above. A young man came in to take my blood pressure. When the noise increased he dived under the bed with the cuff still attached and therefore I dived with him. My angry expostulation drew,"Mais madame, il y a un coup". There was no floor above. The noise was heavy gun fire from the nearby rebel barracks.

Nothing to do but wait it out. No lockers meant no clothes and no money. Two days later a well-built gent stood at the foot of my bed:
"Morning, m'dear. Things seem to be quietening down a bit. I've got the children at the embassy. Do you want to come and join us or stay here and find out what's wrong with you?"
He had climbed in over the wall, but managed to find someone prepared to let us out as I couldn't have managed that in a kaftan.
Out to the embassy through several roadblocks all acknowledging the flag on the ambassadorial rolls and the presence of an unkempt barefoot woman in a purple kaftan.
I wore the same garment for the 70s street party this year

(still waiting for your memoirs )

Perhaps someone could direct Dmitri's attentions to some of these snippets for