h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I totally agree with your ordering process and your selection of crisp's (I'm a Salt and Vinegar fan myself but I do like the odd King Cheese and Onion and Tatyo's Smokey Bacon). But sometimes you should try some new "processed" tavern cuisine - Scampi Fries & Bacon Fries - they are good!!!! But I must say - they are a tad more expensive than ones crisp's - AHA they price you pay for fine dining!!!!

Your packet-opening process is a fine one. I've been known to do it myself. An unsplit packet is foreboding, a dark cave into which one must grope in the hope of potatoey goodness, and which coats your hand in greasy foil-oil.

And scampi fries. My word! They might make your breath stink, but they are damnsome tasty. And exactly how do they make them hollow?!

Cheese moments have, where empty space would be found on a scampi fry, a thick, dry, cheesey substance a lot like that found inside cheese footballs (the bane of my existence), but of a much nicer texture and piquancy.