h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi Mikey,

Before I get this fired off to the editors, I thought you might want a final look at what I've done

Ok, here are some minor things that might need fixing (note: it is quite likely that these problems were in my original version of the entry, so it's not like I'm blaming these on you. ).

1) First paragraph, 2nd sentence. Instead of "The centre includes:" I would probably use "Crossroads includes", else 'centre' might be misinterpreted to refer to only the community centre referenced in the previous sentence.

2) Bulleted list. In keeping with the punctuation used elsewhere in the list, the second to last item should have a semicolon ( before the 'and', and the last item should end in a period (full stop).

3) Next paragraph. "The areas directly adjacent to Crossroads include a community recreation centre, nursing and retirement homes and apartment complexes with relatively large immigrant populations." should have a comma after 'retirement homes' - while terminal commas aren't always necessary, I think matters can get confusing in a compound list like this without them.

4) Under the "shopping" header, in the bulleted list. "Department stores such as the Bed Bath and Beyond stores" -- as Bed Bath and Beyond is only one store, the last word there should be singular. It might also be a good idea to either put Bed Bath and Beyond in quotes or something, so that people understand it's all one store.

5) In the same list -- "Large arts, craft and fabric shops for those of a creative inclination." Here, 'arts and craft' is one type of store, and fabric is another type of store. The only way I can see to clearly revise this might be "There are several arts and craft stores, as well as a large fabric shop, for those of a creative inclination."

6) Under "Activities and Entertainment"

"The main community activites at Crossroads are the live music nights, the movie theatre and the chess area, but weekends often find various exhibits or fairs drawing crowds."

Again, this is an area where the absence of a terminal comma can cause some confusion in interpretation -- perhapse "While the main community activities at Crossroads center around the live music evenings and the games area, the weekends often find various exhibits or festivals drawing crowds."

7) Under the "chess" subheading, there appears to be something funny going on with how the footnote is formatted.

8) Under the "library" subheading, I find it a little confusing to have both links from the word "library" -- perhaps the first link could be anchored on the phrase "library at Crossroads" rather than just "library"?

Thanks!

Mikey

I'd agree with most of what you say, but believe me when I say I know where full stops and commas should go and how to use them. Trust me on this one

Otherwise, I'll have another shifty around with your suggestions

> I'd agree with most of what you say, but believe me when I say I know
> where full stops and commas should go and how to use them. Trust me
> on this one

As do I. I teach this stuff.

If you're opposed to adding in terminal commas in any instances, let me know -- I'd want to re-write some of the text in that case, and probably reformat some of the lists as well.

In that case, do you want to make these changes yourself and I can have another footer around with it?

*Is starting to wonder if sub-eds should edit other sub-ed's entries after all *

Yeah, I know....

Oh well. Yup, I'll take a crack at it this weekend -- I'll make a new copy from the one you have. There are really only a handful of things I think I'd need to change to come up with a version we'd both be happy with.


Mikey

Sounds like a plan

Here you go -- A2689400 -- sorry for the hassle!


Mikey

Mikey, I haven't forgotten about you, look forward to your entry being edited tonight

No hurries.

Just to let you know it's all done and off to the editors

thanks!