h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I just learned how to crack a whip....wheeeee. Now you must understand that I abhore the idea of actually using it to hurt anyone or anything. But for fun, when you get your first 'crack' sound it's great. Ahhh, small things amuse...great minds unable to concentrate! It's all *her* fault. She made me

Made you? I wouldn't be that presumptious...

No, not at all...subtle influence of mind over matter. After such electric demonstrations, my mind cracked like a whip and succumbed to the psychic waves emanating from the point of 'snap'. We must all learn to be responsible for our unvocalised, subconscious commands...xxx

you what? you lost me there...

ahhh...forgive me. Whip fever...went to my head.

Mmmm........ So is this what it's all about is it? Whips!

Now I, (Either fortunately, or unfortunately), am a newcomer to H2G2, and, so far, I am moderately impressed (with the caveat that everything I have read so far sems to be sexually orientated, which probably sums up the readership quite well!).

Now the question is, do I still continue to read all this S**T or what?

I think I will continue to view the pages for as long as I can remain sober.

(For those who do not know me, that's approx. 47 seconds, excluding breaths)

Mmmm. You. Me. A whip. Ahhh.

Who are you? You're freaking me out!

And another thing...where did you get your magic marker?

What's a magic marker? As in pen? I don't think I have one. If that was a guess as to who I am - it was innacurate.
I am me. At least I think I am. Have another guess....

It's not that difficult really.

I'll give you three guesses.

Oh, if you haven't got a magic marker you really should get one. They're fabulous. You can write mysteries in the air. Hmm...so I've got three guesses. Let's see. You can't be Bones, 'cos he passed on from this mortal coil a week ago. Sigh. Unless you are Bones and you've found a way to communicate through the ether. Probably not. Bones is probably enjoying the true pleasures of swimming in the stars for real, as opposed to on screen. So...not Bones. Ummm...could it be that you are truly the irrepressible Mr Tickle himself of Mr Men fame? Have you found a way to escape the confines of the pages and prance about the net? Hmmm....this is tricky. I have to concede. I don't know...

Well, that's two gone. Leaves me one more doesn't it? I shall require some time to contemplate this. Oh hey - I geddit. Three guesses...three wishes. Aha. You are a genie. Oh damn, now I have wasted my three wishes on guessing who you are. Poo. And still none the wiser

The clues are all there. Perhaps too hidden. C'mon gal. You know it.

Okay. I am inside, yet outside. Familiar yet strange. Nothing sinister, yet nothing tame. ?
x

Well, there aren't that many people who know about my 'doctor' thang, and I expect only one who would be on the net right now, so Mr Tickle aka Seanie...do you wanna me to get ya anything from Tesco's while I'm out?!!!!

he he he he he.....