h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ther are ppl who think we have a duty to live our lives to the fullest and try to be all we can be.
For me it's hard to live, harder to achive and hardest not to think suicide a perfectly reasonable way out. If it is cowardess I don't really care, and because I am not religious I am not held back by the threat of an afterlife. Suicide, oblivion. And ppl shouldn't realy care, right?
Of course I have to deal with the problem of hurting ppl who are close to me. The best I can come up with is that they will get over it.
I don't have the patience to live, and I certainly don't have the stomach. Constantly being pricked by inviable needles, one might think I'd get used to the pain, or grow less sensitive, but not me.
I have tried to figure out ways of dealing with it, but so far I have been sol.
It's not like I have a plan or anything, but I am keeping this option open in case it becomes unbearable. Sorry about that. I'll be dispicable in your eyes always, I guess.