h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I just noticed the sun is coming up so I decided to write some more. There is no logic here, so don't hurt your brain.
I was thinking of why I am writing this, and the most obvious reason is
I want someone to read it. Yes, hon, I have a bunch of someones in mind. Hell, you might be one of them.
But mostly I choose this forum because I pretty much know that no one I know comes here, or even know about this place. How could they? And well, if they could, they'd be all busy getting accepted into the guide. I have no inclination of joining in. Two reasons: a) I don't think I'm good enought b) if I did try and I was rejected I'd know that I wasn't good enough.
I would subject myself to miserable thoerios about the ppl that rejected me, and I'd finally come to the conclusion that they are ppl I wouldn't like in real life anyways.
Hon, it's charming to be delerious. I just wish it was a happy delerium. It does have such a power over me. If it can make me feel so f**king bad, and so strongly that I have to have the acceptance of this one person, then wouldn't it be possible that it could make me outstandingly happy too?
The blueish morning light is seeping in through my window now. It looks like a haven for melancholic, pathetic ppl out there. The clouds are hanging grey and heavy, everything once green is a stained yellow. I am awake alone. Not even the cats are joining in.