h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

please tell me you're kidding!

Probably

Breathings over-ratted.

Breathing is over rated. I stopped breathing once and it was a nice change of pace.

Pink....

I totally agree - perhaps you'd be intrested in our breathing club.
We meet four times a year, play cards, back-gammon, have a few drinks, kick back, relax,
and inhale air.

Your breathing club sounds great Water-Eat. i'd like more information please.

Now then, you've called yourself an Air-Breathing Club, when it's quite obvious that your club is exactly like my Liquor-Imbibing Club. We meet a bit more regularly to drink some alcohol and perhaps breathe some air. Your club is obviously ill-named.

Hmm.

In the same manner that the imbibement of alcohlic beverages relaxes your good self, so does the thought of a nice relaxing breathe 4-times a year does to us.

I believe there has been some form of misunderstanding.

Should you have any other questions you should contact your local chapter of B.A. - Breathers Anonymous, an organisation of which I am also Honorary Treasurer.

Were here for you, Miss Gunn.

You must understand Miss Gunn, that the two clubs (Air-Breathing Club & Liquor-Imbibing Club) may appear to be the same, but the difference, as i see it, is that your club's focus is on alcohol, and the air breathing club's focus is on breathing air. Because of the focus of this air breathing club, breathing air, i think that 'air breathing club' is an excelent name for this club.

Thank you Pink - Well Put.

I suppose I can concede to that. How do you feel about having a meeting between the two clubs? We'd be happy to supply the air, if you'd supply the alcohol.

That sound good to me.

Perhaps I could be inducted into both clubs. They both really do sound like great clubs.

I really hope that the editors have a go at this material soon, it's really pathetic.

The legendary air-quality problems endemic to California (particularly Los Angeles) are likely what started this lunacy. For some reason, people feel that going outside is going to give them fresh air; what they really get is air that's moved around a lot more than indoor air. The stuff that this moved air carries is the problem.

Fruitbat

Just a side note;
The air in southwestern Virginia, a state in the country of the USA, on the North American continent, is also decidedly crunchy. Depending on the time of year, it's consistency varies from somewhat damply dusty, to coarsely dry breakfast cereal. For some unfathomable reason, having no relation to the mass-density of the breathing material, the air also ranges from a mild blue-green to a deep malarian yellow.
If you make a side 'buzz' in Roanoke, Virginia; bring a canister of your preferred gas.