h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm Thankful for Herman

It's Thanksgiving Day in America and so we must count our blessings before we start passing the serving dishes.

Some fellow researchers are aware, from my postings here and on FaceBook, that the kitchen at Ladera went through the Valley of Badness this year. The quality of meals was rather eccentric under the old regime, and, with the departure of the manager, "Dietary" became unable to plan meals to the end of the same day, let alone properly cook whatever they could find in the pantry. I, squeaky wheel, could be heard yelling things like "How can a cook live in Albuquerque and not know how to make quesadillas?" or "Jeez, how can you screw up instant mash?" or "Can I have a baloney sandwich instead of this, please?"

Bad food is something that can ruin your day even if you aren't immured in a nursing home. For too many patients, the arrival of the meal tray is a high point of the day; some of us have run out of other vices and have nothing else but gluttony left. It became so dire that I suspect residents' council meetings were postponed because administration didn't know how to handle our ire. Most of the time, kitchen staff really tried but couldn't seem to remember the most basic lore. Drain noodles before serving them. Remember to check whether you have hot dog rolls before offering hot dogs for dinner. Add salt to rice when cooking it. If you put a butter packet on a hot plate, the butter will melt.

Sunday night meals became legendarily bad; you couldn't tell the residents lies, we knew the Sunday night kitchen staff were far more concerned to get out of the building by 7 than to serve palatable food.

Finally, Corporate hired Herman, and slowly matters began to improve. Kitchen staff were accustomed to a despotic hand and I suspect they thought they could blow off the new guy with the quiet demeanor. They turned out to be wrong. A few weeks ago, one of the cooks failed to follow the instructions for cooking country-fried steak, and our trays arrived with hard, curled-up chunks of breaded meat. I took a photograph and showed it to the concierge, who notified Herman, who came down to my room to see it. We discussed time management and recipes and the like, and then he headed back to the kitchen... only to return in order to borrow the camera. Somebody tried to weasel out of responsibility, and failed!

It'll be turkey and stuffing and cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie for lunch, and all the residents are thankful for Herman.

Coda: I was advised this morning that bacon is off the menu. Corporate says it's too expensive. Booo!

I find Cooking is a bit like Teaching. No matter what kind of fancey education you might have, if you don't enjoy what you do, you won't be doing a good job.

Question: Do the cooking staff eat in the facility? If not perhaps they should. Nothing improves the quality of food faster than making the cooks eat it.

Happy thanksgiving!

Deb

I don't think I ever asked--how did you like the pumpkin fudge?

The last post *does* sequite, I swear