h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This week I became the King of Naples!

I have been cast as Alonso, holder of that title, in the Bradford University Theatre Group's forthcoming production of Shakespeare's 'The Tempest', due to take place at Bradford's Theatre In The Mill on March 27-9.

I'm surprised and flattered to have been offered the role, since my previous performing experience as an actor consists of taking part in one five-minute comedy sketch that I wrote myself. But I'm certainly going to give it my best shot. I'm even missing several Bradford City matches in order to rehearse!

My well-known grumpy tendencies will be useful in playing Alonso. He spends much of the play racked with guilt and sorrow, partly because he regrets some devious political machinations in his past, but mainly because he thinks his son has drowned and blames himself. So I get to deliver some wonderfully speeches!

So far, I'm really enjoying the rehearsal process, but it's going to get pretty intense over the next few weeks, culminating in two weeks when we're working on the thing every night. I hope I can stand the pace, because it's a really exciting new adventure for me!

Good luck. I already have your stage-fright so you don't need to worry about that.

This A167320 may or may not be of use. If not, maybe you could use your first hand experience to sling together a more EG-friendly version?

DMT

PS - I'm thinking I should have referred to The Tempest in Nurture v Nature: Cloning a Football Team A884306

The Tempest was one of the plays I had to eviscerate at Uni for my English Literature exam. I loved it to bits, but then I'm a big fan of The Bard...

Keep us updated, 'kay? I'm sure you'll do a brill job

I have an hilarious Tempest anecdote, if you'd indulge me...

Fire away, Marvin!

What are the lines between Claudio and Miranda in Prospero's cave? You know, when they're playing a game of some kind?

There's no character called Claudio in 'The Tempest'!

There is a scene where Miranda and Ferdinand are playing chess, and the dialogue goes thus:

MIRANDA: Sweet lord, you play me false!

FERDINAND: No, my dear'st love,
I would not for the world.

MIRANDA: Yes, for a score of kingdoms you should wrangle
And I would call it, fair play.

(How did Shakespeare get by without Smileys? )

Well, in a SEEVIC college performance circa '95, the word "condoms" was transposed for "kingdoms" and "fair play" come out "foreplay"! Quite an astounding case of Freudian Malapropism!
Eek!

*rolls off chair and onto floor*

The Bard might've enjoyed it, actually

Everyone on stage cracked up and the director buried herself in her chair.

I'm really enjoying playing Alonso. If he was a h2g2 Researcher, he'd definitely join PUDDING! He keeps snapping 'Prithee, peace!' at the other characters, which is Shakespearian for 'Shut the up!'. He steadfastly resists the other characters' attempts to cheer him up, and one of them remarks 'He takes comfort like cold porridge!'

Yes, I am definitely well cast!

How is cold porridge best taken?

It's best taken to the microwave for a minute.

hello fellow bradfordian.... dare i say i abide in lower grange [imagess of loose women/fast cars?]...........
im 33 [aaaaargh] fem.......
bradford city supporter.....
born in shipley [gaisby lane]....
lived: owlett rd, low ash rd, woodside.....

maybe we've passed in street eh??

Nice to hear from you, magoogy. As you say, we may well have passed in the street, especially if you spend much time in Bradford city centre. My flat is right in the centre of town, in the next block to John Street market and just round the corner from Forster Square station. I'm currently working at the Cathedral Centre, five minutes walk from Forster Square, and spend a lot of my spare time either at the University or at the cinemas at the Museum of Photography, Film & Television, so I'm more Bradfordian than ever!

Good, too, to hear from another City supporter. Do you go to Valley Parade much? I'll be there on Saturday for the first time in a month, after missing several home games because of rehearsals for the play I was in. I love my , so I'm greatly looking forward to it. For some reason, whenever I see the trailers for that new BBC TV series 'Walking With Cavemen', I remember that we're playing Millwall on Saturday! I hope their charming fans behave a bit better than usual!

I must have led a sheltered life, because I've never heard of Lower Grange. I'll have to take your word for what it's like! But please don't imply that 33 is old. I'm 43 and still have all my hair and most of my teeth, and I've felt great since I gave up the and started going to the gym. Believe me, there is life beyond 35!

(Notices magoogy online. Waves hello.)