h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

One of the big lessons in life were learned last weekend again. It does
involve hops and the derived brew. My friends, every single one from
Fayette Co., TX, the US' most beer consuming county, were having a party.
Two kegs of brew, one old one new were provided to keep the group happy.

Lesson 1:
One day old brew should not be drunk. Not only has it a quite aweful taste,
but it has also the tendency to be quite sickening.

Lesson 2:
Never try to keep up drinking with people that are from Fayette County. It
is futile and will definetely not end good.

Lesson 3:
If Lesson 1&2 are ignored the following will happen and quite frankly it
is in your best interest not to ignore them:

- you will get sick to the bottom of your stomach and the pain will last
for at least a few days.

-you will feel miserable for those days. Always on the verge of vomitting
your beloved guts out.

-you will not only feel a major pain in your stomach, but also your heart
might cease working regularly. Through personal experience I can say that
beer excess can lead to irregular heart beat patterns, that can become at
least quite annoying, since the body is not supplied with the right amount
of blood. Tall people and people with low blood pressure are especially cautioned.