h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Last century the drive to give all the lost hair strands and dead skin flakes, dust etc a decent end of century seeing to didn't amount to much at all. Call me old fashioned but the Crimean War, the Boer War and India were putting a severe strain on the entertainments committee and it just seemed to slip by.

This time we need to invest what little time remains to round up all the loose hairs (before they are sold by the government as a money making exercise to various hair transplant agencies) and the skin cells before they are herded off to the skin graft gulags (poor things - all that screeching!) wher they will be used (used I say!) for grafting onto other humans and those who are less fortunate spirited away to those GN Laboratories wher they will be turned in to slik purses.

I say time is short. Lets motivate and rally the cause now. Think of it this way the Millenium Dome would be such a wonderful sight filled to the brim with skin cells and hair strands bopping to the lates sounds from Ibiza!!! Now thats what I call a celebration!!!