h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

 Some Words of Wisdom…

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. Robert Frost

A barren superfluity of words. Sir Samuel Garth

A billion here, a billion there, and pretty soon you're talking about real money. Everett Dirksen

A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward. Anonymous

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. Groucho Marx

A child of fortune. Pliny

A city is a large community where people are lonesome together. Herbert Prochnow

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read. Mark Twain

A clever man commits no minor blunders. Goethe

A community is like a ship, everyone ought to be prepared to take the helm. Henrik Ibsen

A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity. Robert Heinlein

A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for the first time. Alfred E. Wiggam

A conservative is a man who does not think that anything should be done for the first time. Frank Vanderlip

A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run. Elbert Hubbard (Epigrams)

A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward. Franklin Delano Roosevelt

A conservative is one who admires radicals centuries after they're dead. Leo C. Rosten

A correct answer is like an affectionate kiss. Goethe

A country can be judged by the quality of its proverbs. German Proverb

A critic is a legless man who teaches running. Anonymous

A deed without a name. William Shakespeare (Macbeth)

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. Robert Frost

A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you. Francois Sagan

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject. Winston Churchill

A fly is as untamable as a hyena. Ralph Waldo Emerson

A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education. George Bernard Shaw

A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him, I may think aloud. Ralph Waldo Emerson

A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something. Wilson Mizner

A good many dramatic situations begin with screaming. Barbarella

A heav'n on earth. John Milton

A joke is a very serious thing. Winston Churchill

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer. Robert Frost

A kiss is a rosy dot over the 'i' of loving. Cyrano de Bergerac

A kiss: To a young girl, faith; to a married woman, hope; to an old maid, charity. V.P. Skipper

A lady came up to me on the street and pointed to my suede jacket. "You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too." Jake Johanson

A leader in the Democratic Party is a boss, in the Republican Party he is a leader. Harry Truman

A life without cause is a life without effect. Barbarella

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal. Oscar Wilde

A long shot, Watson a very long shot! Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

A man cannot be too careful in his choice of enemies. Oscar Wilde

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he's finished. Zsa Zsa Gabor

A man may die, nations may rise and fall, but an idea lives on. John F. Kennedy

A man will fight harder for his interests than for his rights. Napoleon

A man's feet should be planted in his country, but his eyes should survey the world. George Santayana

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. Anonymous

A musicologist is a man who can read music but can't hear it. Sir Thomas Beecham

A nuclear power plant is infinently safer than eating, because 300 people choke to death on food every year. Dixy Lee Ray

A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both. Dwight D. Eisenhower

A person will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body - the wishbone. Anonymous

A pessimist is someone who has had to listen to too many optimists. Anonymous

A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground. H. L. Mencken

A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep. Anonymous

A progeny of learning. R.B. Sheridan

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. Joey Adams

A reasoning, self-sufficing thing, An intellectual all-in-all! William Wordsworth

A satirist is a man who discovers unpleasant things about himself and then says them about other people. Peter McArthur

A science is any discipline in which the fool of this generation can go beyond the point reached by the genius of the last generation. Max Gluckman

A ship is always referred to as "she" because it costs so much to keep one in paint and powder. Chester Nimitz

A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name. Evan Esar

A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic. Joseph Stalin

A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her. David Brinkley

A teacher affects eternity he can never tell, where his influence stops. Henry B. Adams

A timid person is frightened before a danger, a coward during the time, and a courageous person afterward. Jean Paul Richter

A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students. John Ciardi

A wise man sees as much as he ought, not as much as he can. Montaigne

A witty saying proves nothing. Voltaire

A word is dead when it is said, some say. I say it just begins to live that day. Emily Dickenson

A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe in God. Alan J. Perlis (Epigrams of Programming)

About all some parents accomplish in life is to send a child to Harvard. Anonymous

Above all nations is humanity. Goldwin Smith

Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great. Comte DeBussy-Rabutin

Academy: A modern school where football is taught. Ambrose Bierce (The Devil's Dictionary)

Acting is not being emotional, but being able to express emotion. Kate Reid

Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action. Benjamin Disraeli

Advice from your friends in like the weather, some of it is good, some of it is bad. Anonymous

After it, follow it, Follow The Gleam. Lord Tennyson

Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp -- or what's a heaven for? Robert Browning

Ah, well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means. Oscar Wilde's last words

Ain't I volatile? Charles Dickens

All adventure is now reactionary. William F. Buckley, Jr.

All conservatives are such from personal defects. They have been effeminated by position or nature, born halt and blind, through luxury of their parents, and can only, like invalids, act on the defensive. Ralph Waldo Emerson

All good things which exist are the fruits of originality. John Stuart Mill

All of the animals except man know that the principal business of life is to enjoy it. Anonymous

All or nothing! German expression

All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing. Maurice Maeterlinck

All power corrupts, but we need electricity. Haythum R. Khalid

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height. Casey Stengel

All the people like us are we, And everyone else is They. Rudyard Kipling

All things are difficult before they are easy. Thomas Fuller

All this and heaven too. Matthew Henry

Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed. Winston Churchill

Always be nice to those younger than you, because they are the ones who will be writing about you. Cyril Connolly

Always do what you are afraid to do. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours. Yogi Berra

Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive? Heidi Sandige

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy. Charlie McCarthy

Ambition should be made of sterner stuff. William Shakespeare (Julius Caesar)

America is the country where you buy a lifetime supply of aspirin for one dollar, and use it up in two weeks. Anonymous

America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. Oscar Wilde

America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilization. Georges Clemenceau

Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh. W. H. Auden

An apology for the devil: it must be remembered that we have heard one side of the case. God has written all the books. Samuel Butler

An asylum for the sane would be empty in America. Anonymous

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today. Laurence J. Peter

An egotist is a person of low taste--more interested in himself than in me. Ambrose Bierce

An event has happened, upon which it is difficult to speak, and impossible to be silent. Edmund Burke

An executive is a person who always decides sometimes he decides correctly, but he always decides. John H. Patterson

An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made, in a narrow field. Niels Bohr

An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less. Nicholas Murray Butler

An honest politician is one who when he is bought will stay bought. Simon Cameron

An optimist is a guy that has never had much experience. Donald R. Perry Marquis

An ounce of emotion is equal to a ton of facts. John Junor

And I am right, And you are right, And all is right as right can be. Sir W.S. Gilbert

And I will make thee beds of roses And a thousand fragrant posies. Queen Marie-Antoinette

And now, in keeping with Channel 40's policy of always bringing you the latest in blood and guts, in living color, you're about to see another. First - an attempted suicide. Chris Hubbock, who shot herself during a broadcast

And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you ask what you can do for your country. John F. Kennedy

And though hard be the task, 'Keep a stiff upper lip'. Phoebe Cary

And who so happy,---O who, As the Duck and the Kangaroo? Edward Lear

Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen six, result happiness. Charles Dickens

Another unsettling element in modern art is that common symptom of immaturity, the dread of doing what has been done before. Edith Warton

Any clod can have the facts having opinions is an art. Charles McCabe

Any event, once it has occurered, can be made to appear inevitable by a competent historian. Lee Simonson

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain -- and most fools do. Dale Carnegie

Any party which takes credit for the rain must not be surprised if its opponents blame it for the drought. Dwight Morrow

Any society that needs disclaimers has too many lawyers. Erik Pepke

Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work. Al Capp

Anyone who conducts an argument by appealing to authority is not using his intelligence; he is just using his memory. Leonardo Da Vinci

Anyone who has begun to think places some portion of the world in jeopardy. John Dewey

Anyone who isn't confused really doesn't understand the situation. Edward R. Murrow

Art is a collarboration between God an the artist, and the less the artist does the better. Andre Gide

Art is either plagiarism or revolution. Paul Guaguin

Art is not a handicraft, it is the transmission of feeling the artist has experienced. Leo Tolstoy

As a mother, I know that homosexuals cannot biologically reproduce children; therefore, they must recruit our children. Anita Bryant

As blushing will sometimes make a whore pass for a virtuous woman, so modesty may make a fool seem a man of sense. Jonathan Swift

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. Albert Einstein

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it. Dick Cavett

As long as your going to be thinking anyway, think big. Donald Trump

As soon as man does not take his existence for granted, but beholds it as something unfathomably mysterious, thought begins. Albert Schweitzer

As soon as questions of will or decision or reason or choice of action arise, human science is at a loss. Noam Chomsky

Ask a man which way he is going to vote, and he will probably tell you. Ask him, however, why, and vagueness is all. Bernard Levin

Ask five economists and you'll get five different answers (six if one went to Harvard). Edgar R. Fiedler

Asparagus inspires gentle thoughts. Charles Lamb

Assassination is the extreme form of censorship. George Bernard Shaw

At last I know what love is really like. Virgil

Attempt the impossible in order to improve your work. Bette Davis

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too. H. L. Mencken

Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote. George Jean Nathan

Bad taste makes the day go by faster. Andy Warhol

Be aware that a halo has to fall only a few inches to be a noose. Dan McKinnon

Be content with your lot; one cannot be first in everything. Aesop

Be grateful for luck. Pay the thunder no mind - listen to the birds. And don't hate nobody. Eubie Blake

Be not a slave of words. Thomas Carlyle

Be wiser than other people if you can; but do not tell them so. Lord Chesterfield

Beauty is excrescence, superabundance, random ebulience, and sheer delightful waste to be enjoyed in its own right. Donald Culross Peattie (An Almanac for Moderns)

Beauty without grace is the hook without the bait. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Before God we are equally wise and equally foolish. Albert Einstein

Before you kill something make sure you have something better to replace it with; something better than political opportunist slamming hate horse shit in the public park. Charles Bukowski

Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth. Will Rogers

Believe me! The secret of reaping the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment from life is to live dangerously! Nietzsche

Believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it. Andr Gide

Belladonna: In Italian, a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. Ambrose Bierce (The Devil's Dictionary)

Best be yourself, imperial, plain and true! Elizabeth Barret Browning

Better murder an infant in its cradle than nurse an unacted desire. William Blake

Big Brother is watching you. George Orwell (Nineteen Eighty-Four)

Big egos are big shields for lots of empty space. Diana Black

Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain. Ambrose Bierce (The Devil's Dictionary)

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused. Anonymous

Boldness be my friend. William Shakespeare (Coriolanus)

Boswell: That, Sir, was great fortitude of mind. Johnson: No, Sir, stark insensibility. Dr. Samuel Johnson

Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men. Kin Hubbard

Breast Feeding should not be attempted by fathers with hairy chests, since they can make the baby sneeze and give it wind. Mike Harding (The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac)

Breathless, we flung us on a windy hill, Laughed in the sun, and kissed the lovely grass. Rupert Brooke

But I was thinking of a plan To dye one's whiskers green. Lewis Carroll

But that's what being an artist is -- feeling crummy before everyone else feels crummy. The New Yorker

By doing just a little every day, I can gradually let the task completely overwhelm me. Ashleigh Brilliant

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong. Charles Wadsworth

Call it what you will, incentives are what get people to work harder. Nikita Krushchev

Capitalism is the astounding belief that the most wickedest of men will do the most wickedest of things for the greatest good of everyone. Keynes

Captain is a good travelling name and so I take it. George Farquhar

Censorship, like charity, should begin at home, but unlike charity, it should end there. Clare Boothe Luce

Chaos often breeds life, when order breeds habit. Henry Brooks Adams

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come. Philander Johnson

Childhood: The period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth -- two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age. Ambrose Bierce (The Devil's Dictionary)

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners. Anonymous

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. Anonymous

Cinema should make you forget you are sitting in a theater. Roman Polanski

Civilization is a progress from an indefinite, incoherent homogeneity toward a definite, coherent heterogeneity. Herbert Spencer (First Principles)

College isn't the place to go for ideas. Hellen Keller

Colourless green ideas sleep furiously. Noam Chomsky

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen. Albert Einstein

Computer : a million morons working at the speed of light. David Ferrier

Computers aren't intelligent, they only think they are. Anonymous

Confusion now hath made his masterpiece! William Shakespeare (Macbeth)

Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking. H. L. Mencken

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives. John Stuart Mill

Constant dripping hollows out a stone. Lucretius

"Contrariwise", continued Tweedledee, "If it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic." Lewis Carroll

Conversation is the slowest form of human communication. Anonymous

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. Pablo Picasso

Courtesy while you're thinking what to say. It saves time. Lewis Carroll

Creativity often consists of merely turning up what is already there. Did you know that right and left shoes were thought up only a little more than a century ago? Bernice Fitz-Gibbon

Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt? Socrates

Cudgel thy brains no more about it. William Shakespeare (Hamlet)

Curiosity has its own reason for existence. Albert Einstein

Curiouser and curiouser! Lewis Carroll

Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees. J.J. Furnas

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you. Woody Allen

Death: to stop sinning suddenly. Anonymous

Democracy encourages the majority to decide things about which the majority is ignorant. John Simon

Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few. George Bernard Shaw

Democracy is a process by which people are free to choose the man who will get the blame. Laurence J. Peter

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses. H. L. Mencken

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage. H. L. Mencken

Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard. H. L. Mencken

Dieu me pardonnera. C'est son motier. (God will forgive me. It's his job.) Heinrich Heine

Difference of religion breeds more quarrels than difference of politics. Wendell Phillips

Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. William Ellery Channing

Diligence is the mother of good luck. Benjamin Franklin

Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice Doggie!" till you can find a rock. Wynn Catlin

Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it.... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week. Will Rogers

Disclaimer: If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared to not only retract it, but also to deny under oath I ever said it. T. Lehrer

Disco is to music what Etch-A-Sketch is to art. Anonymous

Do infants have as much fun in infancy as adults do in adultery? Anonymous

Do not do unto others as you would they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same. G. Bernard Shaw

Do not quench your inspiration and your imagination; do not become the slave of your model. Vincent van Gogh

Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater. Albert Einstein

Do well and you will have no need for ancestors. Volltaire

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. Theodore Roosevelt

Do you believe in fairies? Say quick that you believe. If you believe, clap your hands! J.M. Barrie (Peter Pan)

Do you know the land where the lemon-trees flower? Goethe

Do you spell it with a "V" or a "W"?' inquired the judge. 'That depends upon the taste and fancy of the speller, my Lord'.... Charles Dickens

Do your damnedest in an ostentatious manner all the time. General George S. Patton

Doing easily what others find difficult is talent; doing what is impossible for talent is genius. Henri-Frederic Amiel

Don't ask questions of fairy tales. Jewish Proverb

Don't be afraid to give up the good for the great. Kenny Rogers

Don't be so humble, you're not that great. Golda Meir

Don't ever become a pessimist, Ira; a pessimist is correct oftener than an optimist, but an optimist has more fun--and neither can stop the march of events. Robert A. Heinlein (Time Enough For Love)

Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something. Pancho Villa's last words

Don't play dumb. You're not as good at it as I am. Colonel Flagg (M.A.S.H)

Don't play the saxophone. Let it play you. Charlie Parker

Don't stay in bed....unless you can make money in bed. George Burns

Drama is life with the dull bits cut out. Alfred Hitchcock

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. Anonymous

Drink to me. Pablo Picasso's last words

Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it. W. Somerset Maughm

Each life makes its own immitation of immortality. Stephen King

Eagles may soar in the clouds, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines. Jason Hutchison

Eccentricities of genius. Charles Dickens

Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists. John Kenneth Galbraith

Economists are people who work with numbers but don't have the personality to be accountants. Anonymous

Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices. Laurence J. Peter

Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance. Will Durant

Education makes a people easy to lead, but difficult to drive; easy to govern but impossible to enslave. Baron Henry Peter Brougham

Education: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding. Ambrose Bierce (The Devil's Dictionary)

English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation. Anonymous

Enzymes are things invented by biologists that explain things which otherwise require harder thinking. Jerome Lettvin

Even a fool knows you can't touch the stars, but it doesn't stop a wise man from trying. Harry Anderson (Night Court)

Even God cannot change the past. Agathon

Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to? Clarence Darrow

Every absurdity has a champion to defend it. Anonymous

Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures. Henry Ward Beecher

Every body continues in its state of rest or uniform motion in a straight line, except insofar as it doesn't. Sir Arthur Eddington

Every day, in every way, I'm getting better and better. Emile Coue

Every family has a prize kin. E.W. Howe

Every man I meet is in some way my superior. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Every man over forty is a scoundrel. G. Bernard Shaw

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. Joe Louis

Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others. Winston Churchill

Everyone is a genius at least once a year. The real geniuses simply have their bright ideas closer together. G.C. Lichtenberg

Everyone wants to be Cary Grant. Even I want to be Cary Grant. Cary Grant

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else. Will Rogers

Everything should be as simple as it is, but not simpler. Albert Einstein

Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it. Lewis Carroll

Evil is whatever distracts. Franz Kafka

Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than the wisest man can answer. Charles Caleb Colton

Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit. W. Somerset Maugham

Expecting something for nothing is the most popular form of hope. Arnold Glasow

Experience is a dear teacher, but fools will learn at no other. Benjamin Franklin

Experience is a good school, but the fees are high. Heinrich Heine

Experience is a great advantage. The problem is that when you get the experience, you're too damned old to do anything about it. Jimmy Connors

Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards. Anonymous

Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age. Ambrose Bierce

Experience is not what happens to you. It is what you do with what happens to you. Aldous Huxley

Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes. Oscar Wilde

Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. F.P. Jones

Experience is the mother of science. Henry George Bohm

Experience is the name everyone gives to his mistakes. Oscar Wilde

Experience is what allows us to repeat our mistakes, only with more finesse! Derwood Fincher

Experience is what causes a person to make new mistakes instead of old ones. Anonymous

Experience is what you got by not having it when you need it. Anonymous

Expressing anger is a form of public littering. Willard Gaylin

Exuberance is beauty. William Blake

Familiarity breeds contempt - and children. Mark Twain

Fantasy, abandoned by reason, produces impossible monsters; united with it, she is the mother of the arts and the origin of marvels. Goya

Farewell, fair cruelty. William Shakespeare (Twelfth Night)

Few people think more than two or three times a year; I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week. George Bernard Shaw

Few rich men own their own property. The property owns them. Robert G. Ingersoll

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example. Mark Twain

Figures won't lie, but liars will figure. Charles H. Grosvenor

Finally, in conclusion, let me say just this. Peter Sellers

Find out what you like doing best and get someone to pay you for doing it. Katherine Whitehorn

Flattery is all right so long as you don't inhale. Adlai Stevenson

For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for Nature cannot be fooled. Richard P. Feynman

For every problem, there is one solution which is simple, neat and wrong. H. L. Mencken

For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died. Cervantes

For just when ideas fail, a word comes in to save the situation. Goethe

For my part, it was Greek to me. William Shakespeare (Julius Caesar)

Fortune favours the brave. Terence

Freedom from the desire for an answer is essential to the understanding of a problem. J. Krishnamurti

Friends applaud, the Comedy is over. Ludwig von Beethoven's last words

Friends will keep you sane, Love could fill your heart, A lover can warm your bed, But lonely is the soul without a mate. David Pratt

Friendship is like money, easier made than kept. Samuel Butler

Friendships are fragile things, and require as much handling as any other fragile and precious thing. Randolph S. Bourne

From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs. Karl Marx

From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put. Winston Churchill

Ful wys is he that can himselven knowe! (Very wise is he that can know himself.) Chaucer

Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something. Wilson Mizner

Games lubricate the body and the mind. Benjamin Franklin

Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense. Josh Billings

Genius is nothing but a great aptitude for patience. George-Louis De Buffon

Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration. Thomas A. Edison

Genius is patience. Buffon

Genius is the talent of a person who is dead. Anonymous

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped. Elbert Hubbard

Genius not only diagnoses the situation but supplies the answers. Robert Graves

Genius without education is like silver in the mine. Ben Franklin

Get your cut throat off my knife. Diane Diprima (Nightmare Gallery)

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do. Zsa Zsa Gabor

Give me my robe, put on my crown; I have Immortal longings in me. William Shakespeare (Antony and Cleopatra)

Go away...I'm alright. H. G. Wells's last words

Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough. Karl Marx's last words to his housekeeper

God has been replaced, as he has all over the West, with respectability and air conditioning. Imamu Amiri Baraka

God is the tangential point between zero and infinity. Alfred Jarry

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. Mark Twain

God runs electromagnetics by wave theory on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and the Devil runs them by quantum theory on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. Sir William Bragg

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Good order is the foundation of all things. Edmund Burke

Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. Ronald Reagan

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. Albert Einstein

Great deeds are usually wrought at great risks. Herodotus

Great events yield all but imperceptible effects. Robert Frost

Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence. Albert Einstein

Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half. Gore Vidal

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. Will Rogers

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted. Fred Allen

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. George Burns

Happiness is just an illusion caused by the temporary absence of reality. Anonymous

Happiness: An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another. Anonymous

Happy campers you have been, happy campers you are, and happy campers you will always be. J. Danforth Quayle

He flung himself from the room, flung himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions. Stephen Leacock

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. Anonymous

He makes a swan-like end, fading in music. William Shakespeare (Merchant of Venice)

He said true things, but called them by wrong names. Elizabeth Barret Browning

He that loves to be flattered is worthy o' the flatterer. William Shakespeare

He tosses aside his paint-pots and his words a foot and a half long. Horace

He was a bold man that first eat on oyster. Jonathan Swift

He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever. Chinese proverb

He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. Nietzsche

He who survives will see the outcome. French Proverb

He's simply got the instinct for being unhappy highly developed. H.H. Munro

Help me to resist temptation, Lord, especially when I know no one is looking. Anonymous

Here I am who did the deed. Virgil

Here is my journey's end, here is my butt, And very sea-mark of my utmost sail. William Shakespeare (Othello)

Here's to the pilot that weathered the storm. George Canning

Heresy is another word for freedom of thought. Graham Greene

Heroes have an infinite capacity for stupidity. Thus are legends born! Anonymous

History is made at night. Character is what you are in the dark. Lord John Whorfin

History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon. Napoleon

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives. Abba Eban

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it. Winston Churchill

Hitch your wagon to a star. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hold the fort, for I am coming. Philip Bliss

Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper. Francis Bacon

How glorious it is - and also how painful - to be an exception. Alfred de Musset

How goes the enemy? Frederic Reynolds

How now, wit! Whither wander you? William Shakespeare (As You Like It)

How often have I said to you that when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth? Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (The Sign of Four)

How often misused words generate misleading thoughts. Herbert Spencer

Human beings, for all their pretensions, have a remarkable propensity for lending themselves to classification somewhere within neatly labelled categories. Even the outrageous exceptions may be classified as outrageous exceptions! W.J. Reichmann

Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe. H.G. Wells

Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature. Tom Robbins

Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost. James Thurber

Humor is a universal language. Joel Goodman

Hypocrisy is the lubricant of society. David Hull

I also believe that academic freedom should protect the right of a professor or student to advocate Marxism, socialism, communism, or any other minority viewpoint--no matter how distasteful to the majority, provided... Richard M. Nixon

I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific. Lily Tomlin

I am a sociologist, God help me. John O'Neill

I am about to - or I am going to - die; either expression is used. Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. W.C. Fields

I am not an economist. I am an honsest man! Paul McCracken

I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position. Mark Twain

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. Winston Churchill

I am responsible only to God and history. Francisco Franco

I am still learning. Michelangelo

I am the emperor, and I want dumplings. Ferdinand I

I am the Roman Emperor, and am above grammar. Emperor Sigismund

I am...a mushroom; On whom the dew of heaven drops now and then. John Ford

I bear a charmed life. William Shakespeare (Macbeth)

I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat. Will Rogers

I came, I saw, I conquered. Julius Caesar

I can resist everything except temptation. Oscar Wilde

I cannot afford to waste my time making money. Jean Louis Agassiz

I celebrate myself, and sing myself. Walt Whitman

I come like Water, and like Wind I go. Edward Fitzgerald

I could prove God statistically. George Gallup

I didn't think; I experimented. Wilhelm Roentgen

I dislike arguments of any kind. They are always vulgar, and often convincing. Oscar Wilde

I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine. Robert Benchley

I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear. Woody Allen

I do not seek, I find. Pablo Picasso

I don't believe in an afterlife, so I don't have to spend my whole life fearing hell, or fearing heaven even more. For whatever the tortures of hell, I think the boredom of heaven would be even worse. Isaac Asimov

I don't believe in pessimism. If something doesn't come up the way you want, forge ahead. If you think it's going to rain, it will. Clint Eastwood

I don't even know what street Canada is on. Al Capone

I don't give a damn for a man who can spell a word only one way. Mark Twain

I don't have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem. Ashleigh Brilliant

I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again. Bart Simpson

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. Will Rogers

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. Woody Allen

I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it. Ashleigh Brilliant

I favor the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and it must be enforced at gunpoint if necessary. Ronald Reagan

I feel again a spark of that ancient flame. Virgil

I find that a great part of the information I have was acquired by looking up something and finding something else on the way. Franklin P. Adams

I find that we all get more legendary as time goes by. "Legend" means, basically, "bullshit." Joel Rosenberg (The Warrior Lives)

I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it. Mae West

I gloat! Hear me gloat! Rudyard Kipling

I had always loved beautiful and artistic things, though before leaving America I had had a very little chance of seeing any. Emma Albani

I had rather be right than be President. Henry Clay

I have always thought the actions of men the best interpreters of their thoughts. John Locke

I have completed a monument more lasting than brass. Horace

I have found it. (Eureka I have found it.) Archimedes

I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet, strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers. Kahlil Gibran

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons. T.S. Eliot

I have never let my schooling interfere with my educations. Haythum R. Khalid

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. Thomas Edison

I have one great fear in my heart, that one day when they (the whites of South Africa) have turned to loving, they will find we (the blacks) are turned to hating. Alan Paton

I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is. Alan Watts

I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best. Oscar Wilde

I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which, when you looked at it in the right way, did not become still more complicated. Poul Anderson

I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand. Confucius

I like a man who grins when he fights. Winston Churchill

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. Winston Churchill

I like the silent church before the service begins, batter than any preaching. Ralph Waldo Emerson

I like the word 'indolence'. It makes my laziness seem classy. Bern Williams

I like thinking big. If you're going to be thinking anything, you might as well think big. Donald Trump

I like to browse in occult bookshops if for no other reason than to refresh my commitment to science. Heinz Pagels (The Dreams of Reason)

I live on good soup, not on fine words. Moliere

I may climb perhaps to no great heights, but I will climb alone. Cyrano De Bergerac

I may not be totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent. Ashleigh Brilliant

I must plough my furrow alone. Earl of Rosebery

I never apologize! G. Bernard Shaw

I never could make out what those damn dots meant. Lord Randolph Churchill

I never deny, I never contradict. I sometimes forget. Benjamin Disraeli

I never loved another person the way I loved myself. Mae West

I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones. John Peel

I never resist temptation, because I have found that things that are bad for me do not tempt me. George Bernard Shaw

I never think of the future. It comes soon enough. Albert Einstein

I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow. Woodrow Wilson

I often quote myself, it adds spice to my conversation. George Bernard Shaw

I only ask for information. Charles Dickens

I only ask to be free. The butterflies are free. Charles Dickens

I passionately hate the idea of being with it, I think an artist has always to be out of step with his time. Orson Welles, 1966

I said to Heart, 'How goes it?' Heart replied: 'Right as a Ribstone Pippin!' Hilaire Bellock

I see music as the augmentation of a split second of time. Erin Cleary

I see the whole design. Elizabeth Barret Browning

I shudder at the word. Virgil

I still live. Daniel Webster's last words

I strive to be brief, and I become obscure. Horace

I swear, if you existed I'd divorce you. Edward Albee

I think it would be totally inappropriate for me to even contemplate what I am thinking about. Don Mazankowski, former Candian Minister of Finance

I think it's about time we voted for senators with breasts. After all, we've been voting for boobs long enough. Clarie Sargent, Arizona senatorial candidate

I think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability. Oscar Wilde

I think that people want peace so much that one of these days government had better get out of their way and let them have it. Dwight D. Eisenhower

I think, therefore I am -- I think. Howard Schneider

I think, therefore I am. Rene Descartes

I waited and waited, and when no message came, I knew it must have been from you. Ashleigh Brilliant

I want to know all Gods thoughts...all the rest are just details. Albert Einstein

I wants to make your flesh creep. Charles Dickens

I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people. J. Danforth Quayle

I will praise any man that will praise me. William Shakespeare (Antony and Cleopatra)

I would feel more optimistic about a bright future for man if he spent less time proving that he can outwit Nature and more time tasting her sweetness and respecting her seniority. E.B. White

I would have made a good pope. Richard Nixon

I would have voted against the Civil Rights Act of 1964. Ronald Reagan

I would like to electrocute everyone who uses the word 'fair' in connection with income tax policies. William F. Buckley

I would sooner fail than not be among the greatest. John Keats

I wouldn't mind dying -- it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me. R. Geis

I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me. Hunter S. Thompson

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. Woody Allen

I'd give $1000 to be a millionaire. Lewis Timberlake

I'd probably be famous now if I wasn't such a good waitress. Jane Siberry

I'll play with it first and tell you what it is later. Miles Davis

I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it. Thomas Jefferson

I'm a simple man. All I want is enough sleep for two normal men, enough whiskey for three, and enough women for four. Joel Rosenberg (The Warrior Lives)

I'm not against the police; I'm just afraid of them. Alfred Hitchcock

I'm proud of paying taxes. The only thing is--I could be just as proud fo half the money. Arthur Godfrey

I's wicked--I is. I's mighty wicked, anyhow. I can't help it. Harriet Beecher Stowe

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

Ideas won't keep; something must be done about them. Alfred North Whitehead

If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich. John F. Kennedy

If a man insisted always on being serious, and never allowed himself a bit of fun and relaxation, he would go mad or become unstable without knowing it. Herodotus

If a person wants to be atheistic it's his God-given right to be an atheist. Michael Patton

If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion. Anonymous

If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error. John Kenneth Galbraith

If all men knew what others say of them, there would not be four friends in the world. Blaise Pascal

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door. Paul Beatty

If Communism goes, I've still got the U.S. House of Representatives. Robert Novak

If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience George Bernard Shaw

If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself. Mickey Mantle

If I say to the moment: 'Stay now! You are so beautiful'! Goethe

If I seem to give a damn, please tell me. I would hate to be giving the wrong impression. Haythum R. Khalid

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people? Anonymous

If it can't be expressed in figures, it is not science; it is opinion. Lazarus Long

If it is too good to be true....it is probably a fraud. Ron Weber

If it takes a lot of words to say what you have in mind, give it more thought. Dennis Roch

If Karl, instead of writing a lot about capital, had made a lot of it, it would have been much better. Karl Marx's Mother

If knowledge can create problems, it is not through ignorance that we can solve them. Isaac Asimov

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: PRESIDENT CAN'T SWIM. Lyndon B. Johnson

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing pole. Doug Larson

If people really liked to work, we'd still be plowing the land with sticks and transporting goods on our backs. Eilliam Feather

If scientific reasoning were limited to the logical processes of arithmetic, we should not get very far in our understanding of the physical world. One might as well attempt to grasp the game of poker entirely by the use of the mathematics of probability. Vannevar Bush

If the automobile had followed the same development as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year killing everyone inside. Robert Cringely/InfoWorld

If the human mind was simple enough to understand, we'd be too simple to understand it. Emerson Pugh

If the misery of the poor be caused not by the laws of nature, but by our institutions, great is our sin. Charles Darwin

If the wind will not serve, take to the oars. Latin Proverb

If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure. J. Danforth Quayle

If you are going to do something wrong at least enjoy it. Leo Rosten

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars. J. Paul Getty

If you can spend a perfectly useless afternoon in a perfectly useless manner, you have learned how to live. Lin Yutang

If you can't convince them, confuse them. Harry S. Truman

If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly. Ashleigh Brilliant

If you don't throw it, they can't hit it. Lefty Gomez

If you had your life to live over again--you'd need more money. Construction Digest

If you have both feet planted on level ground, then the university has failed you. Robert F. Goheen

If you have tears, prepare to shed them now. William Shakespeare (Julius Caesar)

If you haven't all the things you want, be grateful for the things you don't have that you wouldn't want. Anonymous

If you think before you speak the other guy gets its joke in first. Anonymous

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. Derek Bok

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. Earl Wilson

If you think the United States has stood still, who built the largest shopping center in the world? Richard M. Nixon

If you want to be happy, be. Leo Tolstoy

If you want to commit suicide you can use my razor; it's electric, but you can hang yourself with the cord. Haythum R. Khalid

If you wish to be a success in the world, promise everything, deliver nothing. Napoleon

If you wish to learn the highest truths, begin with the alphabet. Japanese Proverb

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. Henny Youngman

Ignorance is a voluntary misfortune. Nicholas Ling

Illusions commend themselves to us because they save us pain and allow us to enjoy pleasure instead. We must therefore accept it without complaint when they sometimes collide with a bit of reality against which they are dashed to pieces. Sigmund Freud

Imagination is more important than knowledge. Albert Einstein

In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. Laurence Peter

In any closet, you can find it, if it is too small, or out of style, or there is just one of it where there should be two. I am not sure what this is, but an `F' would only dignify it. Unknown English Professor

In any country there must be people who have to die. They are the sacrifices any nation has to make to achieve law and order. Idi Amin Dada

In every country and every age, the priest had been hostile to Liberty. Thomas Jefferson

In fact, one thing that I have noticed...is that all of these conspiracy theories depend on the perpetrators being endlessly clever. I think you'll find the facts also work if you assume everyone is endlessly stupid. Brian E. Moore

In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy. Anonymous

In my end is my beginning. T.S. Eliot

In place of infinity we usually put some really big number, like 15. Anonymous Computer Science professor

In political discussion heat is in inverse proportion to knowledge. J.G.C. Minchin

In politics stupidity is not a handicap. Napoleon

In some cases non-violence requires more militancy than violence. Cesar Chavez

In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular. Kathy Norris

In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing. Mignon McLaughlin

In the fight between you and the world, back the world. Franz Kafka

In the long run we are all dead. John Maynard Keynes

In the province of the mind, what one believes to be true either is true or becomes true. John Lilly

In the world of human thought generally, and in physical science particularly, the most important and fruitful concepts are those to which it is impossible to attach a well-defined meaning. H.A. Kramers

In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes. Benjamin Franklin

In time of war the first casualty is truth. Boake Carter

In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these. Paul Harvey

In war there is no substitute for victory. General Douglas MacArthur

Indeed, history is nothing more than a tableau of crimes and misfortunes. Voltaire

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. Martin Luther King Jr.

Intellectual brilliance is no guarentee against being dead wrong. David Fasold

Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization. Ambrose Bierce (The Devil's Dictionary)

Is not life a hundred times too short for us to bore ourselves? Friedrich Nietzsche

Isn't it strange? The same people who laugh at gypsy fortune tellers take economists seriously. Cincinnati Enquirer

It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress. Mark Twain

It has been a bitter moritification for me to digest the conclusion that the 'race is for the strong' and that I shall probably do little more but be content to admire the strides others made in science. Charles Darwin

It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value. Arthur C. Clarke

It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations. Winston Churchill

It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar. Jerome K. Jerome

It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit. Harry S. Truman

It is better to be defeated on principle than to win on lies. Arthur Calwell

It is better to be high-spirited even though one makes more mistakes, than to be narrow-minded and all to prudent. Vincent van Gogh

It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees! Emiliano Zapata

It is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either. Mark Twain

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid. George Bernard Shaw

It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that it is more difficult to be witty every day than to say pretty things from time to time. Honoro de Balzac (The Physiology of Marriage)

It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them. Alfred Adler

It is good to be without vices, but it is not good to be without temptations. Walter Bagehot (Biographical Studies)

It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument. William G. McAdoo

It is in games that many men discover their paradise. Robert Lynd

It is in self-limitation that a master first shows himself. Goethe

It is much more secure to be feared than to be loved. Niccolo Machiavelli

It is no longer my moral duty as a human being to achieve an integrated and unitary set of explanations for my thoughts and feelings. Bronwyn Davies

It is not enough to conquer; one must learn to seduce. Voltaire

It is not fit that you should sit here any longer! Oliver Cromwell

It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are. Clive James

It is simply untrue that all our institutions are evil,...that all politicians are mere opportunists, that all aspects of university life are corrupt. Having discovered an illness, it's not terribly useful to prescribe death as a cure. George McGovern

It is the business of the future to be dangerous; and it is among the merits of science that it equips the future for its duties. Alfred North Whitehead

It is the fight alone that pleases us, not the victory. Pascal

It is the greatest of all advantages to enjoy no advantage at all. Henry David Thoreau

It is through the cracks in our brains that ecstasy creeps in. Logan Pearsall Smith

It is true greatness to have in one the frailty of a man and the security of a god. Seneca

It is true that liberty is precious so precious that it must be rationed. Nikolai Lenin

It is well that war is so terrible, or we should get too fond of it. Robert E. Lee

It is well to lie fallow for a while. Martin Tupper

It isn't what they say about you, it's what they whisper. Errol Flynn

It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God, but to create him. Arthur C. Clarke

It revolts me but I do it! Sir W.S. Gilbert

It takes a long time to understand nothing. Edward Dahlberg

It takes great cleverness to be able to conceal one's cleverness. Duc De La Rochefoucauld

It takes less time to do a thing right than explain why you did it wrong. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

It was the best butter. Lewis Carroll

It's a damned long, boggy, dirty, dangerous way. Oliver Goldsmith

It's a fact the whole world knows, That Pobbles are happier without their toes. Edward Lear

It's a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations. Winston Churchill

It's good to know that if I behave strangely enough, society will take full responsibility for me. Ashleigh Brilliant

It's great to be young and insane. Michael Keaton (Dream Team)

It's more than a game. It's an institution. Thomas Hughes

It's not over until it's over. Yogi Berra

It's not peace I want, not mere contentment. It's boundless joy and ecstasy for me. Kugell

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen

It's not your blue blood, your pedigree or your college degree. It's what you do with your life that counts. Millard Fuller

It's only words...unless they're true. David Mamet

It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time. Tallulah Bankhead

Just because something doesn't do what you planned it to do doesn't mean it's useless. Thomas Alva Edison

Just get the right syllable in the proper place. Jonathan Swift

Just trust yourself, then you will know how to live. Goethe

Justice is incidental to law and order. J. Edgar Hoover

Keep right on to the end of the road. Sir Harry Lauder

Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. Helen Keller

Kites rise highest against the wind---not with it. Winston Churchill

Know how sublime a thing is to suffer and be strong. H.W. Longfellow

Knowledge is of two kinds. We know a subject ourselves, or we know where we can find information on it. Samuel Johnson

Knowledge is soon changed, then lost in the mist, an echo half-heard. Gene Wolfe

Knowledge is true opinion. Plato

Lack of will power has caused more failure than lack of intelligence or ability. Flower A. Newhouse

Language is a virus from outer space. William S. Burroughs

Language is a wonderful thing. It can be used to express thoughts, to conceal thoughts, but more often, to replace thinking. Kelly Fordyce

Language is not only the vehicle of thought, it is a great and efficient instrument in thinking. Humphrey Davy

Language is the armory of the human mind, and at once contains the trophies of its past and the weapons of its future conquests. Anonymous

Laughter is the closest distance between two people. Victor Borge

Laws were made to be broken. Christopher North

Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we'll find it. Sam Levenson

Learn and think imperially. Joseph Chamberlian

Learning is finding out what you already know. Richard Bach

Leave the rest to the gods. Horace

Legend: a lie that has attained the dignity of age. H. L. Mencken

Leisure time is that five or six hours when you sleep at night. George Allen

Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage. Anonymous

Let onion atoms lurk within the bowl, And, scarce-suspected, animate the whole. Sydney Smith

Let schoolmasters puzzle their brain, With grammar, and nonsense, and learning, Good liquor, I stoutly maintain, Gives genius a better discerning. Oliver Goldsmith

Let these describe the indescribable. Lord Byron

Let us celebrate the occasion with wine and sweet words. Plautus

Lets cut off our noses. Shirley Brooks

Life beats down and crushes the soul and art reminds you that you have one. Stella Adler

Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards. Soren Kierkegaard

Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint you can at it. Danny Kaye

Life is a wave, which in no two consecutive moments of its existence is composed of the same particles. John Tyndall

Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while. Anonymous

Life is just one damned thing after another. Elbert Hubbard

Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep. Fran Lebowitz

Life is too serious to be taken seriously. Mike Leonard

Life's to short for chess. Henry James Byron

Like most endeavors, life is seriously over-advertised and under-funded. Anonymous

Like most intellectuals, he is imensely stupid. Marquise de Merteuil

Live every day as if it were your last and then some day you'll be right. Anonymous

Live in danger. Build your cities on the slopes of Vesuvius. Nietzsche

Live your life, do your work, then take your hat. Henry David Thoreau

Living in the past has one thing in its favor - it's cheaper. Anonymous

Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding. Ambrose Bierce (The Devil's Dictionary)

Look back, and smile on perils past. Sir Walter Scott

Lord, grant that I may always desire more than I accomplish. Michelangelo

Lounjun roun en suffer'n. Joel Chandler Harris

Love in its essence is spiritual fire. Swedenborg

Love is a canvas furnished by Nature and embroidered by imagination. Voltaire

Love is a hole in the heart. Ben Hecht

Love is an irresistable desire to be irresistably desired. Robert Frost

Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition. Alexander Smith

Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important. Lisa Hoffman

Love is like racing across the frozen tundra on a snowmobile which flips over, trapping you underneath. At night, the ice-weasels come. Nietchze

Love is not blind - it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less. Rabbi Julins Gordon

Love is only the dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species. W. Somerset Maugham

Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality. Victor Frankel

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. H. L. Mencken

Luck is like having a rice dumpling fly into your mouth. Japanese Proverb

Luck is the residue of design. Branch Rickey

Mad, adj: Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence. Ambrose Bierce (The Devil's Dictionary)

Mad, bad, and dangerous to know. Lady Caroline Lamb

Make voyages! Attempt them...there's nothing else. Tennessee Williams

Man does not live by words alone, despite the fact that sometimes he has to eat them. Adlai Stevenson

Man has made use of his intelligence, he invented stupidity. Remy De Gourmant

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. Lily Tomlin

Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason. Oscar Wilde

Man is the only animal that blushes or needs to. Mark Twain

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most times he will pick himself up and carry on. Winston Churchill

Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions. Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Mankind must put an end to war, or war will put an end to mankind. John F. Kennedy

Many a young lady does not realize just how strong her love for a young man is until he fails to pass the approval test with her parents. Anonymous

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. F. M. Knowles

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway. Joey Adams

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside equally desperate to get out. Michel de Montaigne

Marriage is like the army. Everybody complains, but you'd be surprised at how many re-enlist. Anonymous

Marriage is the result of the longing for the deep, deep peace of the double bed after the hurly-burly of the chaise longue. Mrs. Patrick Campbell

Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two. Ambrose Bierce

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. Goethe

Mathematics transfigures the fortuitous concourse of atoms into the tracery of the finger of God. Herbert Westren Turnbull

May every young scientist remember... and not fail to keep his eyes open for the possibility that an irritating failure of his apparatus to give consistent results may once or twice in a lifetime conceal an important discovery. Patrick Blackett

Maybe I'm lucky to be going so slowly, because I may be going in the wrong direction. Ashleigh Brilliant

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell. Aldous Huxley

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion. Ambrose Bierce (The Devil's Dictionary)

Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself, but talent instantly recognizes genius. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Mediocrity requires aloofness to preserve its dignity. Charles G. Dawes

Men always want to be a womans first love - women like to be a mans last romance. Oscar Wilde

Men are conservatives when they are least vigorous, or when they are most luxurious. They are conservatives after dinner. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Men are like wine some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. Pope John XXIII

Men do not invent Myths. They only invent fables, and tell lies. True Myths create themselves, and find their expression in the men who serve their purpose. Denis Johnston (The Brazen Horn)

Men fear death as children fear to go in the dark; and as that natural fear in children is increased by tales, so is the other. Francis Bacon (Of Death)

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else. Ogden Nash

Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Susan Ertz

Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open. Thomas Dewar

Mingle some brief folly with your wisdom. Horace

Miscellaneous is always the largest category. Joel Rosenberg (The Warrior Lives)

Modesty: the gentle art of enhancing your charm by pretending not to be aware of it. Anonymous

Modified rapture! Sir W.S. Gilbert

Money couldnt buy friends, but you get a better class of enemy. Spike Milligan

Money will say more in one moment than the most eloquent lover can in years. Anonymous

Money, it turned out, was exactly like sex, you thought of nothing else if you didnt have it and thought of other things if you did. James Baldwin (Nobody Knows My Name)

Morality is the herd-instinct in the individual. Nietzsche

More light! Goethe

More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly. Woody Allen

Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation. Oscar Wilde

Music is Love in search of a word. Sidney Lanier

My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot. Ashleigh Brilliant

My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music. Vladimir Nabokov

My poor head is in such a whirl, my mind is all in bits. Goethe

My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind. Albert Einstein

My sun sets to raise again. Elizabeth Barret Browning

My wife and I tried to breakfast together, but we had to stop or our marriage would have been wrecked. Winston Churchill

Nature abhors a hero. For one thing, he violates the law of conservation of energy. For another, how can it be the survival of the fittest when the fittest keeps putting himself in situations where he is most likely to be creamed? Solomon Short

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. Abraham Lincoln

Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference. Anonymous

Never bolt your door with a boiled carrot. Irish Proverb

Never buy shoes early in the day when your feet are their smallest. Francis Patiky Stein

Never do today what you can put off till tomorrow. Mathew Browne

Never feel self-pity, the most destructive emotion there is. How awful to be caught up in the terrible squirrel cage of self. Millicent Fenwick

Never floss with a stranger. Joan River

Never settle with words what you can accomplish with a flamethrower. Bruce Feirstein

Never speak ill of yourself; your friends will always say enough on that subject. Anonymous

Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity. George S. Patton

Never touch a butterfly's wing with your finger. Colette

Never, never, never, never, never!;Pray you, undo this button. William Shakespeare (King Lear)

Nirvana is not the blowing out of the candle. It is the extinguishing of the flame because day is come. Rabindranath Tagore

Nirvana or lasting enlightenment or true spiritual growth can be acheinved only through persistent exercise of real love. M. Scott Peck, M.D.

No doubt, a scientist isn't necessarily penalized for being a complex, versatile, eccentric individual with lots of extra-scientific interests. But it certainly doesn't help him a bit. Stephen Toulmin

No good deed goes unpunished. Clare Boothe Luce

No man is rich enough to buy back his past. Oscar Wilde

No man means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous. Henry B. Adams

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Eleanor Roosevelt

No one ever gets far unless he accomplishes the impossible at least once a day. Elbert Hubbard

No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public. H. L. Mencken

No one should drive a hard bargain with an artist. Ludwig van Beethoven

No pain, no palm; no thorns, no throne; no gall, no glory, no glory; no cross, no crown. William Penn

No poor bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making other bastards die for their country. George Smith Patton

No, this trick wont work...How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? Albert Einstein

Nobody believes the official spokesman... but everybody trusts an unidentified source. Ron Nesen

Nobody can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it. Tallulah Bankhead

Nobody can be so amusingly arrogant as a young man who has just discovered an old idea and thinks it is his own. Sydney Harris

Nobody kicks on being interrupted if it's by applause. Kin Hubbard

Nothing else in the world...not all the armies...is so powerful as an idea whose time has come. Victor Hugo

Nothing good ever ends. William Saroyan

Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nothing is built on stone; all is built on sand, but we must build as if the sand were stone. Jorge Luis Borges

Nothing is difficult to those who have the will. Dutch Poet's Society

Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs. Henry Ford

Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory. John Kenneth Galbraith

Nothing is so aggravating than calmness. Oscar Wilde

Nothing like a little judicious levity. Robert Louis Stevenson

Nothing succeeds like -- failure. Anonymous

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love. Charlie Brown

Nothing would please the Kremlin more than to have the people of this country choose a second rate president. Richard M. Nixon

Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature. Kin Hubbard

Now comes the mystery. Henry Ward Beecher's last words

Now is the time for drinking, now the time to beat the earth with unfettered foot. Horace

Now my innocence begins to weigh me down. Francois Rabelais

Now, in reality, the world have paid too great a compliment to critics, and have imagined them to be men of much greater profundity then they really are. Henry Fielding

Nowadays to be intelligible is to be found out. Oscar Wilde

Nowhere to fall but off, Nowhere to stand but on. Benjamin King

Numbers are like people; torture them enough and they'll tell you anything. Anonymous

O holy simplicity! John Huss

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal. Hannah More

Of all forms of caution, caution in love is the most fatal. Anonymous

Of all the varieties of virtues, liberalism is the most beloved. Aristotle

Oh, how fine it is to know a thing or two. Moliere

On all the peaks lies peace. Goethe

On the edge of destiny, you must test your strength. Billy Bishop (W.W. I Ace)

On the whole human beings want to be good, but not to good and not quite all the time. George Orwell

Once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he comes next to drinking and sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination. Thomas De Quincey

Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled. Horace

Once all struggle is grasped, miracles are possible. Mao Tse-tung

Once conform, once do what others do because they do it, and a kind of lethargy steals over all the finer senses of the soul. Montaigne

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary.... Edgar Allan Poe

One can be instructed in society, one is inspired only in solitude. Goethe

One cannot play chess if one becomes aware of the pieces as living souls and of the fact that the Whites and the Blacks have more in common with each other than with the players. Suddenly one loses all interest in who will be champion. Anatol Rapoport

One could not be a successful scientist without realizing that, in contrast to the popular conception supported by newspapers and mothers of scientists, a goodly number of scientists are not only narrow-minded and dull, but also just stupid. James Watson


One lives in the hope of becoming a memory. Antonio Porchia

One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries. A. A. Milne

One of the greatest pieces of economic wisdom is to know what you do not know. John Kenneth Galbraith

One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say. Will Durant

One should dies proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly. Friedrich Nietzsche

One was never married, and that's his hell; another is, and that's his plague. Robert Burton

Only a brave person is willing to honestly admit, and fearlessly to face, what a sincere and logical mind discovers. Rodan of Alexandria

Only the winners decide what were war crimes. Gary Wills

Only those who attempt the absurd...will achieve the impossible. I think...I think it's in my basement...Let me go upstairs and check. Escher

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly. Robert F. Kennedy

Opinions founded on prejudice are always sustained with the greatest violence. Hebrew Proverb

Optimism: The doctrine that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong. ... It is hereditary, but fortunately not contagious. Ambrose Bierce

Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl. Mike Adams

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it. Laurence J. Peter

Our elections are free, it's in the results where eventually we pay. Bill Stern

Our erected wit maketh us to know what perfection is. Sir Philip Sidney

Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants. If we continue to develop our technology without wisdom or prudence, our servant may prove to be our executioner. General Omar Bradley

Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC

Papa, potatoes, poultry, prunes and prism, are all very good words for the lips.... Charles Dickens

Paranoids are people, too; they have their own problems. It's easy to criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid too. D. J. Hicks

Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel. Samuel Johnson

People born to be hanged are safe in water. Mark Twain's Mother

People can travel faster than sound, yes, but not nearly so fast as rumor! Anonymous

People don't ask for facts in making up their minds. They would rather have one good, soul-satisfying emotion than a dozen facts. Robert Keith Leavitt

People find life entirely too time-consuming. Stanislaw J. Lec

People think love is an emotion. Love is good sense. Ken Kesey

People who know little are usually great talkers, while men who know much say little. Jean Jacques Rousseau

Perhaps the purpose of categorical algebra is to show that which is trivial, is trivially trivial. Anonymous

Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules. Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives. Anonymous

Physics is becoming so unbelievably complex that it is taking longer and longer to train a physicist. It is taking so long, in fact, to train a physicist to the place where he understands the nature of physical problems that he is already too old to solve them. Eugene Wigner

Physics isn't a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money. Leon Lederman

Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win. Jonathan Kozol

Picture yourself in a boat on a river with tangerine trees and marmalade skies. John Lennon

Pizza is a lot like sex. When it's good, it's really good. When it's bad, it's still pretty good. Anonymous

Plain women know more about men than beautiful ones do. But beautiful women don't need to know about men. It's the men who have to know about beautiful women. Katherine Hepburn

Plato had slaves...George Washington had slaves...So, do I feel intrinsically better than these two men? Of course I do! They're dead! Todd Andrew Reid

Please don't ask me what the score is, I'm not even sure what the game is. Ashleigh Brilliant

Please don't lie to me, unless you're absolutely sure I'll never find out the truth. Ashleigh Brilliant

Plunge boldly into the thick of life! Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Poetry begins in delight and ends in wisdom Robert Frost

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build bridges even when there are no rivers. Nikita Khruschev

Politicians should read science fiction, not westerns and detective stories. Arthur C. Clarke

Politics I supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. Ronald Reagan

Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book. Ronald Reagan

Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. John Kenneth Galbraith

Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed. Mao Zedong

Politics, as a practice, whatever its professions, has always been the systematic organization of hatreds. Henry Adams

Power always has to be kept in check; power exercised in secret, especially under the cloak of national security, is doubly dangerous. William Proxmire

Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Lord Acton

Practice is the best of all instructors. Publilius Syrus

Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future. Niels Bohr

Pretty much all the honest truth telling there is in the world is done by children. Anonymous

Pretty witty Nell. Samuel Pepys

Probable impossibilities are to be preferred to improbable possibilities. Aristotle

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. Don Marquis

Procrastination is the thief of time. John Dos Pasos

Prosperity is a great teacher; adversity a greater. William Hazlitt

Public office is the last refuge of a scoundrel. Boies Penrose

Pushon, keep moving. Thomas Morton

Rast ich, so rost ich. (When I rest, I rust.) German Proverb

Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance. Confucius

Reality is good for you...in small doses. Anonymous

Reason is the substance of the universe. The design of the world is absolutely rational. Hegel

Rejoice in the things that are present; all else is beyond thee. Montaigne

Religion... is the opium of the masses. Karl Marx

Remember that the most beautiful things in the world are the most useless; peacocks and lilies, for example. John Ruskin (The Stones of Venice, I)

Research is the act of going up alleys to see if they are blind. Anonymous

Research is the art of seeing what everyone else has seen, and doing what no-one else has done. Anonymous

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing. Wernher von Braun

Rest, rest, perturbed spirit! William Shakespeare (Hamlet)

Same old slippers, Same old rice, Same old glimpse of paradise. William James Lampton

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day--and another, in case it doesnt rain. Mae West

Science is not a sacred cow. Science is a horse. Don't worship it. Feed it. Aubrey Eben

Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life. Immanuel Kant

Science is organized knowledge. Herbert Spencer

Science is the refusal to believe on the basis of hope. Carrie P. Snow

Science itself, therefore, may be regarded as a minimal problem, consisting of the completest possible presentment of facts with the least possible expenditure of thought. Ernst Mach

Science may have found a cure for most evils; but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all- the apathy of human beings. Helen Keller

Science when well digested is nothing but good sense and reason. Stanislaw I Leszczynski

Scientists are the easiest to fool. They think in straight, predictable, directable, and therefore misdirectable, lines. The only world they know is the one where everything has a logical explanation and things are what they appear to be. Children and conjurors - they terrify me. Scientists are no problem; against them I feel quite confident. James P. Hogan (Code of the Lifemaker)

See the conquering hero comes! Sound the trumpets, beat the drums! Thomas Morell

Self-sacrifice enables us to sacrifice other people without blushing. George Bernard Shaw

Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth. Mohammed Ali

Sesquippledan', he would say, 'Sesquippledan verboojuice". H.G. Wells

Seven days without laughter makes one weak. Mort Walker

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it. Woody Allen

Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you wont either. Joseph Fischer

Sex is like snow... You never know how many inches you're going to get or how long it will last. Anonymous

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. Swami X

Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. . . the other eight are unimportant. Herny Miller

She unbent her mind afterwards---over a book. Charles Lamb

Show my head to the people, it is worth seeing. Georges Danton, to his executioner

Shun no toil to make yourself remarkable by some talent or other; yet do not devote yourself to one branch exclusively. Strive to get clear notions about all. Give up no science entirely; for science is but one. Seneca

Silence is the virtue of fools. Francis Bacon

Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle which fits them all. Anonymous

Since when was genius found respectable? Elizabeth Barret Browning

Slovotsky's Law Number Thirty-One: Get scared right away; avoid the rush. Joel Rosenberg (The Warrior Lives)

Slow and steady wins the race. Robert Lloyd (The Hare and the Tortoise)

Small projects need much more help than great. Dante

So far as modern science is concerned, we have to abandon completely the idea that by going into the realm of the small we shall reach the ultimate foundations of the universe. I believe we can abandon this idea without any regret. The universe is infinite in all directions, not only above us in the large but also below us in the small. Emil Wiechert

So foul and fair a day I have not seen. William Shakespeare (Macbeth)

So little done, so much to do. Cecil Rhodes

Sober, steadfast, and demure. John Milton

Some men see things as they are and say why? I dream things that never were and say "Why not?" Robert F. Kennedy

Some people have so much respect for their superiors they have none left for themselves. Peter McArthur

Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it. Gordon R. Dickson

Something attempted, something done, Has earned a nights repose. H.W. Longfellow

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Sigmund Freud

Sometimes democracy must be bathed in blood. Augusto Pinochet

Sometimes it's useful to know how large your zero is. Anonymous

Spaghetti can be eaten most successfully if you inhale it like a vacuum cleaner. Sophia Loren

Spare no expense to make everything as economical as possible. Samuel Goldyn

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. W.C. Fields

Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital. Aaron Levenstein

Stay humble. Always answer your phone---no matter who else is in the car. Jack Lemmon

Still more labyrinthine buds the rose. Elizabeth Barret Browning

Strength lies not in defense but in attack. Adolf Hitler

Success is dependent on effort. Sophocles

Success is the sole earthly judge of right and wrong. Adolf Hitler

Success without honor is an unseasoned dish; it will satisfy your hunger, but it won't taste good. Joe Paterno

Such laboured nothings in so strange a style, Amaze th' unlearn'd, and make the learned smile. Alexander Pope

Suddenly, as rare things will, it vanished. Elizabeth Barret Browning

Sure there are dishonest men in local government. But there are dishonest men in national government too. Richard M. Nixon

Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway. Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board, on chlordane

Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves. Abraham Lincoln

Take care, your worship, those things over there are not giants but windmills. Miguel Cervantes

Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week. Will Rogers

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish. Euripides

Technology is a gift of God. After the gift of life it is perhaps the greatest of God's gifts. It is the mother of civilizations, of arts and of sciences. Freeman Dyson (Infinite in All Directions)

Television is the first truly democratic culture the first culture available to everybody and entirely governed by what the people want. the most terrifying thing is what people do want. Clive Barnes

Television: a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well-done. Ernie Kovacs

Telling the truth to people who misunderstand you is generally promoting a falsehood, isn't it? Anonymous

Ten people who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent. Napoleon

Thank God, I have done my duty. Horatio, Viscount Nelson

That government is best which governs least. Henry David Thoreau

That we can comprehend the little we know already is mindboggling in itself. Tom Gates

That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind. Neil Armstrong

That's the nature of research--you don't know what in hell you're doing. Doc Edgerton

The art of a people is a true mirror to their minds. Jawaharial Nehru

The art of drawing conclusions from experiments and observations consists in evaluating probabilities and in estimating whether they are sufficiently great or numerous enough to constitute proofs. This kind of calculation is more complicated and more difficult than it is commonly thought to be. . . Antoine Lavoisier

The attempt and not the deed confounds us. William Shakespeare (Macbeth)

The average Ph.D. thesis is nothing but a transference of bones from one graveyard to another. J. Frank Dobie (A Texan in England, 1945)

The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore. It is not so much a war as an endless standing in line. H.L. Mencken

The beginning of knowledge is the discovery of something we do not understand. Frank Herbert

The best way to be boring is to leave nothing out. Voltaire

The best way to escape from a problem is to solve it. Alan Saporta

The big majority of Americans, who are comparatively well off, have developed an ability to have enclaves of people living in the greatest misery without almost noticing them. Gunnar Myrdal N

The bigger the real-life problems, the greater the tendency for the discipline to retreat into a reassuring fantasy-land of abstract theory and technical manipulation. Tom Naylor

The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone. Harriet Beecher Stowe

The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding go out to meet it. Thucydides

The brighter you are, the more you have to learn. Don Herold

The camera cannot lie. But it can be an accessory to untruth. Harold Evans

The cautious seldom err. Confucuis

The charm of history and its enigmatic lesson consist in the fact that, from age to age, nothing changes and yet everything is completely different. Aldous Huxley (The Devils of Loudun)

The chemists are a strange class of mortals, impelled by an almost insane impulse to seek their pleasure among smoke and vapor, soot and flame, poisons and poverty, yet among all these evils I seem to live so sweetly, that may I die if I would change places with the Persian King. Johann Becher

The chief product of an automated society is a widespread and deepening sense of boredom. Cyril Parkinson

The confidence of ignorance will always overcome indecision of knowledge. Anonymous

The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking. J. K. Galbraith

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. Ellen Parr

The death of democracy is not likely to be an assassination from ambush. It will be a slow extinction from apathy, indifference, and undernourishment. Robert Hutchins

The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated. William James

The difference between science and the fuzzy subjects is that science requires reasoning while those other subjects merely require scholarship. Robert Heinlein

The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you. Woody Allen

The doer alone learneth. Friedrich Nietzsche

The dogs did bark, the children screamed, Up flew the windows all; And every soul bawled out, Well done! As loud as he could bawl. William Cowper

The dreadful burden of having nothing to do. Nicolas Boileau

The duration of passion is proportionate with the original resistance of the woman. Honoré de Balzac, "The Physiology of Marriage" 1829

The effort to understand the universe is one of the very few things that lifts human life a little above the level of farce, and gives it some of the grace of tragedy. Steven Weinberg

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. R. Buckminster Fuller

The English have no respect for their language, and will not teach their children to speak it. George Bernard Shaw

The eternal silence of these infinite spaces frightens me. Pascal

The farther it gets from the bench it was worked on, the more real the real world becomes. Todd Johnson

The fewer the facts, the stronger the opinion. Arnold H. Glasow

The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it. Abbie Hoffman

The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children. Clarence Darrow

The first sign of a nervous breakdown is when you start thinking your work is terribly important. Milo Bloom

The first step towards knowledge is to know that we are ignorant. Richard Cecil

The fog is rising. Emily Dickinson's last words

The folly of mistaking a paradox for a discovery, a metaphor for a proof, a torrent of verbiage for a spring of capital truths, and oneself for an oracle, is inborn in us. Paul Vale'ry, 1895

The function of genius is not to give new answers, but to pose new questions - which time and mediocrity can solve. Hugh Trevor-Roper (Men and Events)

The future is like heaven, everyone exalts it, but no one wants to go there now. James Baldwin

The game is done! I've won, I've won!' Quoth she, and whistles thrice. S.T. Coleridge

The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance. Robert R. Coveyou

The genius of you Americans is that you never make clear-cut stupid moves, only complicated stupid moves which make us wonder at the possibility that there may be something to them -which- we are missing. Gamel Abdel Nasser

The goal of Computer Science is to build something that will last at least until we've finished building it. Anonymous

The good die young - because they see it's no use living if you've got to be good. Anonymous

The great masses of the people... will more easily fall victims to a big lie than to a small one. Adolf Hitler

The great tragedy of Science - the slaying of a beautiful hypothesis by an ugly fact. Thomas Henry Huxley

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. Walter Bagehot

The hen is an egg's way of producing another egg. Samuel Butler

The highest ecstasy is the attention at its fullest. Simone Weil

The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread. Mother Teresa

The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer. Henry Kissinger

The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn. Alvin Toffler

The important thing in science is not so much to obtain new facts as to discover new ways of thinking about them. Sir William Bragg

The important thing is not to stop questioning. Albert Einstein

The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. Winston Churchill

The insatiate itch of scribbling. William Gifford

The intelligent man is one who has successfully fulfilled many accomplishments, and is yet willing to learn more. Ed Parker

The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common. Ralph Waldo Emerson

The investigator should have a robust faith -- and yet not believe. Claude Bernard, French physiologist (1813-78)

The iron gate ground its teeth to let me pass! Elizabeth Barret Browning

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. Anatole France

The lecturer should give the audience full reason to believe that all his powers have been exerted for their pleasure and instruction. Michael Faraday

The life so short, the craft so long to learn. Hippocrates

The little I know I owe to my ignorance. Sacha Guitry

The little things are most worthwhile-- quiet word, a look, a smile. Margaret Lindsey

The longer I am out of office, the more infallible I appear to myself. Henry Kissinger

The man for whom law exists -- the man of forms, the Conservative, is a tame man. Henry David Thoreau

The man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world. Oscar Wilde

The man who strikes first admits that his ideas have given out. Chinese Proverb

The market is not an invention of capitalism. It has existed for centuries. It is an invention of civilization. Mikhail Gorbachev (June 8, 1990)

The marvel of all history is the patience with which men and women submit to burdens unnecessarily laid upon them by their governments. William H. Borah

The measure of a man is what he does with power. Pittacus

The mind has exactly the same power as the hands: not merely to grasp the world, but to change it. Colin Wilson

The mind of a bigot is like the pupil of the eye. The more light you shine on it, the more it will contract. Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness. John Kenneth Galbraith

The more things change, the more they are the same. Alphonse Karr

The more you say, the less people remember. The fewer the words, the greater the profit. Felelon

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. Albert Einstein

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I've found it!), but "That's funny...". Isaac Asimov

The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink and somebody to love you. Brandan Behan

The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible. Albert Einstein

The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents. Nathaniel Borenstein

The most merciful thing in the world ... is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. H. P. Lovecraft

The moving finger writes; and, having writ, moves on... Omar Khayyam (The Rubaiyat)

The news is the one thing the networks can point to with pride. Everything else they do is crap and they know it. Fred Friendly

The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from. Andres S. Tannenbaum

The nourishment is palatable. Millard Fillmore

The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom. H. L. Mencken

The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this notion rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn't require any. Russell Baker

The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself. Oscar Wilde

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. Franklin D. Roosevelt

The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement. Anonymous

The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible. Arthur C. Clarke

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Oscar Wilde

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth. Niels Bohr

The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist fears it is true. Robert Oppenheimer

The origin of all science is the desire to know causes, and the origin of all false science and imposture is the desire to accept false causes rather than none; or, which is the same thing, in the unwillingness to acknowledge our own ignorance. William Hazlitt

The pain passes, but the beauty remains. Pierre Auguste Renoir

The paper burns, but the words fly away. Ben Joseph Akiba

The paperback is very interesting, but I find it will never replace the hardcover book - it makes a very poor doorstop. Alfred Hitchcock

The people I distrust most are those who want to improve our lives but have only one course of action. Frank Herbert

The philosophers of the Middle Ages demonstrated both that the Earth did not exist and also that it was flat. Today they are still arguing about whether the world exists, but they no longer dispute about whether it is flat. Vilhjalmur Stefansson

The place where optimism most flourishes is the lunatic asylum. Havelock Ellis

The poet ranks far below the painter in the representation of visible things, and far below the musician in that of invisible things. Leonardo DaVinci

The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues. Elizabeth Taylor

The progress of science is often affected more by the frailties of humans and their institutions than by the limitations of scientific measuring devices. The scientific method is only as effective as the humans using it. It does not automatically lead to progress. Steven S. Zumdahl

The purpose of a liberal arts education is to learn that a person can like both cats and dogs! Anonymous

The purpose of a liberal education is to make one's mind a pleasant place to spend one's leisure. Anonymous

The purpose of a liberal education is to make you philisophical enough to accept the fact that you will never make much money. Anonymous

The purpose of the present course is the deepening and development of difficulties underlying contemporary theory... A. A. Blasov

The real danger from advertising is that it helps to shatter and ultimately destroy our most precious non-material possessions: the confidence in the existence of meaningful purposes of human activity and respect for the integrity of man. Paul Sweezy

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man. George Bernard Shaw

The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one. Albert Einstein

The reserve of modern assertions is sometimes pushed to extremes, in which the fear of being contradicted leads the writer to strip himself of almost all sense and meaning. Winston S. Churchill

The reward for a thing well done is to have done it. Ralph Waldo Emerson

The rich will do anything for the poor but get off their backs. Karl Marx

The right half of the brain controls the left half of the body. This means that only left handed people are in their right mind. Anonymous

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously. Hubert H. Humphrey

The rule is, jam tomorrow and jam yesterday---but never jam today. Lewis Carroll

The scientists split the atom; now the atom is splitting us. Quentin Reynolds

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Groucho Marx

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made. Jean Giraudoux

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. Albert Einstein

The Social Sciences are good at accounting for disasters once they have taken place. Claude T. Bissell

The sooner I fall behind, the more time I have to catch up. Anonymous

The sooner you make your first five thousand mistakes the sooner you will be able to correct them. Kimon Nicolaides

The sports page records people's accomplishments; The front page nothing but their failures. Jutice Earl Warren

The streets are safe in Philadelphia, it's only the people who make them unsafe. Frank Rizzo

The strongest man in the world is he who stands alone. Henrik Ibsen

The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a criminal. Erich Fromm

The sum of earthly bliss. John Milton

The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools. Doug Larson

The task of science is to stake out the limits of the knowable, and to center consciousness within them. Rudolf Virchow

The temple of art is built in words. Josiah Gilbert Holland

The test of the morality of a society is what it does for its children. Dietrich Bonhoeffer

The theoretical broadening which comes from having many humanities subjects on the campus is offset by the general dopiness of the people who study these things... Richard Feynman

The thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble is sex. Anonymous

The time to stop a revolution is at the beginning, not the end. Adlai Stevenson

The times they are a-changin. Bob Dylan

The trick is to stop thinking it as 'your' money. IRS auditor

The trouble with out times is that the future is not what it used to be. Paul Valery

The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. Lily Tomlin

The true art of memory is the art of attention. Samuel Johnson

The truly proud man knows neither superiors or inferiors. The first he does not admit of - the last he does not concern himself about. William Hazlitt

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. Martin Luther King Jr

The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly, is to fill the world with fools. Herbert Spencer

The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper. Eden Phillpotts

The universe is laughing behind your back. Anonymous

The universe is not hostile, nor yet is it unfriendly. It is simply indifferent. John H. Holmes

The very pink of perfection. Oliver Goldsmith

The very well and abyss of an encyclopaedia. Rabelais

The Vice Presidency is sort of like the last cookie on the plate. Everybody insists he won't take it, but somebody always does. Bill Vaughan

The victor will never be asked if he told the truth. Adolf Hitler

The warning message we sent the Russians was a calculated ambiguity that would be clearly understood. Alexander Haig

The wheel is come full circle. William Shakespeare (King Lear)

The whole art of teaching is only the art of awakening the natural curiosity of young minds for the purpose of satisfying it afterwards. Anatole France

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts. Bertrand Russel

The will to win is worthless if you don't get paid for it. Reggie Jackson

The words walked right out of my mouth. James Brady

The world began without man, and it will complete itself without him. Claude Levi-Strauss

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think. Horace Walpole

The world is full of willing people; some wiling to work, the rest willing to let them. Robert Frost

There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy. Ambrose Bierce

There are a million ways to lose a work day, but not even a single way to get one back. Tom DeMarco and Timothy Lister

There are fairies at the bottom of our garden. Rose Fyleman

There are no such things as applied sciences, only applications of science. Louis Pasteur

There are only two kinds of scholars; those who love ideas and those who hate them. Emile Chartier

There are only two truly infinite things, the universe and stupidity. And I am unsure about the universe. Albert Einstein

There are things that are so serious that you can only joke about them. Heisenberg

There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics. Benjamin Disraeli

There are three roads to ruin; women, gambling and technicians. The most pleasant is with women, the quickest is with gambling, but the surest is with technicians. Georges Pompidou

There are three schools of magic. One: State a tautology, then ring the changes on its corollaries; that's philosophy. Two: Record many facts. Try to find a pattern. Then make a wrong guess at the next fact; that's science. Three: Be aware that you live in a malevolent Universe controlled by Murphy's Law, sometimes offset by Brewster's Factor; that's engineering. Fortune

There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart's desire. The other is to gain it. George Bernard Shaw

There are two words for everything. E.V. Lucas

There are very few people who are not ashamed of having been in love when they no longer love each other. Francois, Duc de La Rouchefoucald

There are, of course, several things in Ontario that are more dangerous than wolves. For instance, the step-ladder. J.W. Curran

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation. W. C. Fields

There is a melancholy that stems from greatness. Chamfort

There is no cause so right that one cannot find a fool following it. Niven's Law # 16

There is no remedy for sex but more sex. Anonymous

There is no strong performance without a little fanaticism in the performer. Ralph Waldo Emerson

There is no substitute for hard work. Thomas A. Edison

There is no such things as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written or bady written. That is all. Oscar Wilde, "The Picture of Dorian Gray"

There is nothing in this world constant but inconstancy. Swift

There is nothing more difficult to take in hand, more perilous to conduct, or more uncertain in its success, than to take the lead in the introduction of a new order to things. N. Machiavelli

There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result. Winston Churchill

There is nothing permanent except change. Heraclitus

There is nothing quite so good as burial at sea. It is simple, tidy, and not very incriminating. Alfred Hitchcock

There is one thing more exasperating than a spouse who can cook and won't, and that's a spouse who can't cook and will. Anonymous

There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it. George Bernard Shaw

There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. Oscar Wilde

There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact. Mark Twain

There might be some credit in being jolly. Charles Dickens

There was a time when a fool and his money were soon parted, but now it happens to everybody. Adlai Stevenson

There was never a genius without a tincture of madness. Aristotle

There's a difference between beauty and charm. A beautiful woman is one I notice. A charming woman is one who notices me. John Erskine

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. James Holt McGavran

There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want. Bill Watterson, "Calvin and Hobbes"

There's no fool like an old fool -- you can't beat experience. Jacob Braude

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. Will Rogers

There's nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex. Billy Joel

There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself. Johann Sebastian Bach

There's only one me, and I'm stuck with him. Robert L. Stanfield

There, that is our secret: go to sleep! You will wake, and remember, and understand. Elizabeth Barret Browning

These are bagpipes. I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made sound never equalled the purity of the sound achieved by the pig. Alfred Hitchcock

They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist... General John B. Sedgwick's last words, 1864

They say a reasonable amount o' fleas is good fer a dog--keeps him from broodin' over bein' a bog, mebbe. Edward Noyes Westcott

They say miracles are past. William Shakespeare (All's Well that Ends Well)

They talk most who have the least to say. Mathew Prior

They were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Naturally they became heroes. Anonymous

They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night. Edgar Allen Poe (Eleonora)

Things are more like they are now than they ever were before. Dwight D. Eisenhower

Think, or be damned. Bryan Penton

Think? Why think! We have computers to do that for us. Jean Rostand

This is the very coinage of your brain. William Shakespeare (Hamlet)

This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but a whimper. T. S. Eliot

This is very true: For my words are my own, and my actions are my minsters. Charles II

This secret spoke Life herself unto me: "Behold," said she, "I am that which must ever surpass itself." Nietzsche

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last. Oscar Wilde

This very moment is a seed from which the flowers of tomorrow's happiness grow. Margaret Lindsey

Those who flee temptation generally leave a forwarding address. Lane Olinghouse

Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable. John F. Kennedy

Those who stand for nothing fall for anything. Alex Hamilton

Thou large-brained woman and large-hearted man. Elizabeth Barret Browning

Thus shall you go to the stars. Virgil

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. Hector Berlioz

Time is nature's way of making sure that everything doesn't happen at once. Anonymous

Time is the great legalizer, even in the field of morals. H. L. Mencken

Time passes irrevocably. Virgil

Time sneaks up on you like a windshield on a bug. Jon Lithgow

Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles. Frank Lloyd Wright

To be great is to be misunderstood. Ralph Waldo Emerson

To be loved, be lovable. Ovid

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target. Ashleigh Brilliant

To different minds, the same world is a hell, and a heaven. Ralph Waldo Emerson

To err is human, and to blame it on a computer is even more so. Orben's Current Comedy

To give up the task of reforming society is to give up one's responsibility as a free man. Alan Paton

To hold a pen is to be at war. Voltaire

To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk. Thomas Edison

To laugh at men of sense is the privilege of fools. Anonymous

To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence. Mark Twain

To teach is to learn twice. Joseph Joubert

To those who think that the law of gravity interferes with their freedom, there is nothing to say. Lionel Tiger

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition. Woody Allen

Tomorrow is often the busiest time of the year. Spanish Proverb

Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves. Albert Einstein

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death. James F. Byrnes

Too much of a good thing is wonderful. Mae West

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. Mel Brooks

Treat a work of art like a prince. Let it speak to you first. Arthur Schopenhauer

Trouble brings experience, and experience brings wisdom. Anonymous

True friendship is never serene. Marie de Rabutin-Chantal

Truly great madness can not be achieved without significant intelligence. Henrik Tikkanen

Truth in science can be defined as the working hypothesis best suited to open the way to the next better one. Konrad Lorenz

Truth sits upon the lips of dying men. Matthew Arnold

Try not to have a good time...this is supposed to be educational. Charles Schulz

Try to be the best of what you are, even if what you are is no good. Ashleigh Brilliant

Try to relax and enjoy the crisis. Ashleigh Brilliant

Under capitalism man exploits man; under socialism the reverse is true. Polish proverb

Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, humidity, and other variables, the organism will do as it damn well pleases. Anonymous

Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. William Shakespeare (Henry IV Part I)

Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages. H.L. Mencken

Value your words. Each one may be the last. Stanislaw J. Lec

Virtue is its own reward, but then so is sin! Anonymous

Visions of glory, spare my aching sight... Thomas Gray

Voters quickly forget what a man says. Richard Nixon

Wagner has lovely moments but awful quarters of an hour. Gioacchino Rossini

Wagner's music is better than it sounds. Mark Twain

War is delightful to those who have had no experience of it. Desiderius Erasmus

War is much too serious a matter to be entrusted to the military. Georges Clemenceau

War will cease when men refuse to fight. F. Hansen

Watch what people are cynical about, and one can often discover what they lack. George S. Patton

We always love those who admire us, but we do not always love those whom we admire. Francois

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde

We are dancing on a volcano. Comte De Salvandy

We are getting into semantics again. If we use words, there is a very grave danger they will be misinterpreted. H. R. Haldeman, testifying in his own defense

We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it. Dwight D. Eisenhower

We are in such a slump that even the ones that aren't drinkin' aren't hittin'. Casey Stengel

We are no more than candles burning in the wind. Japanese Proverb

We are not abandoning our convictions, our philosophy or traditions, nor do we urge anyone to abandon theirs. Mikhail Gornachov

We are wiser than we know. Ralph Waldo Emerson

We boil at different degrees. Ralph Waldo Emerson

We can do anything we want to if we stick to it long enough. Helen Keller

We can't all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by. Will Rogers

We compound our suffering by victimizing each other. Athol Fugard

We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones. L. Rochefoucauld

We dissect nature along lines laid down by our native language. Language is not simply a reporting device for experience but a defining framework for it. Benjamin Whorf

We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read. Mark Twain

We have deep depth. Yogi Berra

We have had an Imperial lesson; it may make us an Empire yet! Rudyard Kipling

We have the power to make this the best generation of mankind in the history of the world or to make it the last. John F. Kennedy

We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak. Epictetus

We learn from history that we do not learn anything from history. Anonymous

We made too many wrong mistakes. Yogi Berra

We may not imagine how our lives could be more frustrating and complex - but Congress can. Cullen Hightower

We must laugh before we are happy, for fear we die before we laugh at all. Jean de La Bruyere

We only part to meet again. John Gay

We owe most of what we know to about one hundred men. We owe most of what we have suffered to another hundred or so. R.W. Dickson

We participate in a tragedy; at a comedy we only look. Aldous Huxley (The Devils of Loudun)

We really don't have enemies. It's just that some of our best friends are trying to kill us. Anonymous

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. Phyllis Diller

We who are about to die, are going to take one hell of a lot of the bastards with us. Joel Rosenberg (The Silver Crown)

We will hang you, never fear, Most politely, most politely. Sir W.S. Gilbert

We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified. Aesop

We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones. Andrew A. Rooney

Well done is better than well said. Benjamin Franklin

Well, my deliberate opinion is -- it's a jolly strange world. Arnold Bennett

What broke in a man when he could bring himself to kill another? Alan Paton

What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight it's the size of the fight in the dog. Dwight D. Eisenhower

What does not destroy me, makes me stronger. Nietzsche

What garlic is to food, insanity is to art. Anonymous

What have they done to you my poor child? Goethe

What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies. Aristotle

What is conservativism? Is it not the aherence to the old and tried against the new and untried? Abraham Lincoln

What is history but a fable agreed upon? Napolean Bonaparte

What is life, except excuse for death, or death but an escape from life. Anonymous

What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset. Crowfoot (Blackfoot warior and orator)

What is my loftiest ambition? I've always wanted to throw an egg at an electric fan. Anonymous

What is now proved was once only imagined. William Blake

What is the answer? In that case, what is the question? Gertrude Stein's last words

What is the use of a book", thought Alice, "without pictures or conversations?" Lewis Carroll

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. Ralph Waldo Emerson

What luck for the rulers that men do not think. Adolf Hitler

What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick. Anonymous

What passes for optimism is most often the effect of an intellectual error. Raymond Aron (The Opium of the Intellectuals)

What price Glory? Maxwell Anderson

What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy? Ursula K. LeGuin

What this country needs is a good five-cent nickel. Frank Adams

What time is the next swan? Leo Slezak

What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expected generally happens. Benjamin Disraeli

What we call "morals" is simply blind obedience to words of command. Havelock Ellis

What you don't know would make a great book. Sydney Smith

What! All this for a song? William Cecil, Lord Burleigh

What's in a name? That which we call a rose.... William Shakespeare (Romeo and Juliet)

What's the Greek name for Swine's Snout? Elizabeth Barret Browning

Whatever you want too much you can't have, so when you really want something, try to want it a little less. Joel Rosenberg (The Sleeping Dragon)

When a fellow says it ain't the money but the principle of the thing, it's the money. Kin Hubbard

When a man says he had pleasure with a woman he does not mean conversation. Samuel Johnson

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear. Mark Twain

When better business decisions are made, economists won't make them. H. V. Prochnow

When choosing between two evils I always like to take the one I've never tried before. Mae West

When I grow up, I want to be an honest lawyer so things like that can't happen. Richard Nixon (young) on Teapot Dome scandal

When I investigate and when I discover that the forces of the heavens and the planets are within ourselves, then truly I seem to be living among the gods. Leon Battista Alberti

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it. Clarence Darrow

When I'm working on a problem, I never think about beauty. I think only how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong. Richard Buckminster Fuller

When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder. James H. Boren

When its a question of money, everybody is of the same religion. Voltaire

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us. Alexander Graham Bell

When people agree with me I always feel that I must be wrong. Oscar Wilde

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they're not it. Anonymous

When the Black Camel comes for me, I'm not going to go kicking and screaming -- I am, however, going to try to talk my way out of it. "No, no, you want the other Walter Slovotsky." Joel Rosenberg (The Warrior Lives)

When the president does it, that's means it is not illegal. Richard Nixon

When the rich make war it's the poor that die. Jean-Paul Sartre

When we are planning for posterity, we ought to remember that virtue is not hereditary. Thomas Paine

When we are young Wandering the face of the Earth Wondering what our dreams might be worth Learning that we're only immortal; For a limited time (Dreamline) - Rush

When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe. John Muir (1838-1914)

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands. H. L. Mencken

When you have nothing to say, say nothing. Charles Caleb Colton

When you read a classic you do not see in the book more than you did before. You see more in you than there was before. Clifton Fadiman

When you take stuff from one writer it's plagiarism; but when you take it from many writers, it's research. Wilson Mizner

Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally. Abraham Lincoln

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong. Oscar Wilde

Whenever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship. Harry S. Truman

Where all men think alike, no one thinks very much. Walter Lippmann

Where would we be without salt? James A. Beard

Wherever a set of alternative possible routes toward achieving a given end presents itself, a student movement will tend to choose the one which involves a higher measure of violence or humiliation directed against the older generation. Lewis S. Feuer

Wherever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". Friedrich Nietzsche

Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past. George Orwell

Who dares, wins. Anonymous

Who knows what we live, and struggle, and die?... Wise men write many books, in words too hard to understand. But this, the purpose of our lives, the end of all our struggle, is beyond all human wisdom. Alan Paton

Who says I am not under the special protection of God? Adolf Hitler

Who will protect the public when the police violate the law? Ramsey Clark

Whoever, in the pursuit of science, seeks after immediate practical utility, may generally rest assured that he will seek in vain. H.L.F. von Helmholtz

Why is this thus? What is the reason of this thusness? Artemus Ward

Why this is very midsummer madness. William Shakespeare (Twelfth Night)

Why yes - a bulletproof vest. James Rodges, murderer, on his final request before the firing squad

Winged words. Homer

Winning is not everything. It's the only thing. Vince Lombardi

Winning is not everything, but wanting to win is. Vince Lombardi

With clothes the new are best, with friends the old are best. Anonymous

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke. Anonymous

With self-discipline most anything is possible. Theodore Roosevelt

Without discipline, there's no life at all. Katharine Hepburn

Without music life would be a mistake. Friedrich Nietzsche

Women like silent men. They think they're listening. Marcel Archard

Women's virtue is man's greatest invention. Cornelia Otis Skinner

Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind. Rudyard Kipling

Words divide us, actions unite us. Slogan of the Tupamaros

Words may be false and full of art; Sighs are the natural language of the heart. Thomas Shadwell

Words strain, crack, and sometime break, under the burden. T.S. Eliot

Words, words, mere words, no matter from the heart. William Shakespeare (Troilus and Cressida)

Works of art, in my opinion, are the only objects in the material universe to possess internal order, and that is why, though I don't believe that only art matters, I do belive in Art for Art's sake. E. M. Forster

Writing free verse is like playing tennis with the net down. Anonymous

Yea, though I walk through the valley of death I will fear no evil, for I am the meanest son of a bitch in the valley. Joel Rosenberg (The Silver Crown)

You are looking as fresh as paint. F.E. Smedley

You are no better than you should be. Francis Beaumont

You are one of the forces of nature. Jules Michelet

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. Anonymous

You are right on target when you say that mad scientists have a total disregard for the wellbeing of others. We don't want to spread evil; we just see no point in bothering to spread good. Richard M. Mathews

You can call her an outdoor girl if she has the bloom of youth on her cheeks and the cheeks of youth in her bloomers. Anonymous

You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you. Eric Hoffer

You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time. Abraham Lincoln

You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. Al Capone

You can not apply mathematics as long as words still becloud reality. Hermann Weyl

You can observe a lot by just watching. Yogi Berra

You can outdistance that which is running after you, but not what is running inside you. Rwandan proverb

You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by the way he eats jelly beans. Ronald Reagan

You can't be a Real Country unless you have a BEER and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a BEER Frank Zappa

You can't put the toothpaste back in the tube. H.R. Haldeman

You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him find it within himself. Galileo

You do not destroy an idea by killing people; you replace it with a better one. Edward Keating

You don't f**k around with the infinite. Mean Streets

You have not converted a man because you have silenced him. John Morley

You have played enough; you have eaten and drunk enough. Now it is time for you to depart. Horace

You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip. Jonathan Carroll (Outside the Dog Museum)

You know my methods, Watson. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

You know, sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. Susanne Kollrack

You was a good man, and did good things. Thomas Hardy

You will be able to appreciate the influence of such an Engine on the future progress of science. I live in a country which is incapable of estimating it. Charles Babbage

You will find it a very good practice always to verify your references, sir. Martin Routh

You would attain to the divine perfection.... H.W. Longfellow

You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din! Rudyard Kipling

You've got to take the initiative and play your game. In a decisive set, confidence is the difference. Chris Evert

Your grandchildren will likely find it incredible - or even sinful - that you burned up a gallon of gasoline to fetch a pack of cigarettes! Dr. Paul MacCready Jr.

Your ignorance cramps my conversation. Anonymous

Zeal without knowledge is like fire without light. English Proverb

Here are some more words of wisdom:

A Fool and His Money are Soon Parted - Benjamin Franklin

Don't Take Life Too Seriously, It's only a Temporary Situation - Polish Proverb

Eliminate and Abolish all Redundency - Anonymous

I am a Drunk Driver on the Information Superhighway - Scott Berch

I am Lying - Plato

If we do not all hang together, we will surely hang seperately - Benjamin Franklin

I want to die like my grandfather did, at peace an in his sleep. Not screaming and carrying on like the people in the car he was driving. - Kevin Troy

Kill all the Extremists! - Mark Davis

Marriage is like dinner in an french resteraunt. No one knows what they are ordering, and when it arrives they want what the other guy is having. - Anonymous

Nobody Get Out of this World Alive - Polish Proverb

Predestiny is usually the job of historians - Sean Woods

Some drink at the fountain of knowledge, others just gargle - Anonymous

The Difference Between a Psychiatrist and a Psychologist is about $100/hour. - Anonymous

The best way to catch a squirrel is to climb up a tree and act like a nut - Anonymous

There's a Sucker Born every Minute - P.T. Barnum

This way to the Egres - P.T. Barnum

I've heard that you are a fan of Grant Lee Buffalo, and have quoted them. I must admit that I was too sleepy to go through all of your quotes, but have been most impressed with what I've read so far.

If I were to leave a G.L.B. lyric it would be "I hear you read minds. In the case of mine, do you read in the dark".

interesting...I wonder if you follow these instructions...
However many of these people have been mad...I wonder what you think of their other ideas. Like Nietzsche: "menet naisen luokse? Älä unohda ruoskaa." Which means in English: Go to a woman? Don´t forget a whip.

Whew! Where did you get all that quotes from? "A wise man does not know everything, but he knows where to look it up!" (Unknown)

"A fool and his money are soon partying."
~Unknown