h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Why John L Burns Has a Statue in Gettysburg - A87989242
Author: Dmitri Gheorgheni - Not Banned in China - U1590784

Next month's Create Challenge will involve public art. And you know what's going on everywhere.

So I thought I'd tell you the story about why John L Burns has a statue at Gettysburg. It's kind of fun.

Excellent

Well illustrated, and great way to bring together links to other Entries

The only bit I wasn't clear about was what happened on 26 June - how did Burns get out of jail?

Thanks for reading, Sasha! <smiley.

I think I've cleared that up now. The Confederates under Jubal A Early marched into Gettysburg on 26 June. They jailed Burns, and placed the town 'under tribute', whatever that means. They also did a fair amount of damage.

The next day, they left and went to York. The Union army showed up and let the prisoners out.

Reading about who was where can be fun. For instance, you find statements like this:

'The tablet which shows where the 26th Pennsylvania Emergency Militia met Early's Confederates on June 26, 1863 is three miles west of Gettysburg, on the north side of US 30, in front of A&A Auto Salvage.'

What I don't get is why Burns felt he needed a cover story to explain being shot.

So Burns was not wearing uniform while sniping on the outskirts of a battle in which 50,000 people died and many others were injured, which would include thousands of bullet wounds. People are being shot left, right and centre - and even below the belt. There's smoke, noise, confusion and he is shot three times and left for dead.
Next day the Confederates turn up and it is the fact he's been shot that requires a cover story? So the Confederates aren't asking 'what are you doing here, on the side of the woods that was occupied by our enemies? That makes me question are you one of us?' but instead are saying, 'Are those BULLET WOUNDS? Here, on the outskirts of one of the biggest battles on , can you satisfactorily explain why you've been SHOT?!' leaving him to respond, 'Shot? Me?! Nah - this is woodworm. They mistook me for a grand piano.'

<BB<

He didn't have to explain why he had been shot. But why he was in the fighting. He could have been executed as a 'bushwhacker' - you know, because he wasn't wearing a uniform.

Oh, afterthought: you've got a pretty clear idea of what the war looked like, though. Imagine taking a football stadium crowd, dividing it into two, and giving everybody an old-fashioned rifle - some of them muzzle-loading. Then turning them loose.

Yeah, yeah, I know: don't give the Americans any more ideas...

Oh, explaining why he was in the middle of a battlefield is easy, you just say, 'I was trying to rescue my , who ran off'. People run into fires, jump into rivers, climb off cliffs etc to rescue their and you know that 9 times out of ten the dog will survive anyway and they end up dead.

Security Guard : What are you doing trying to open that bank safe?
: Just trying to rescue my dog, who ran in and is trapped inside...

<BB<

Dog-hunting is always a good excuse!

Different sources gave different stories, that's why I was waffling. One source said he claimed to be looking for his stray wife. Another, that he was searching for cows.

Read the poem - is on a link. The poem is pretty funny.

Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.

If you'd like to know what happens now, check out the page on 'What Happens after your Entry has been Recommended?' at EditedGuide-Process. We hope this explains everything.

Thanks for contributing to the Edited Guide!

Congratulations!