h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Today I thought I'd do a journal that will be helpful to the CV's and the other folk behind the scenes at NooHooToo.

Rules governing the Core Teams and NPL (from the community)

1) Breathing - This is permitted at least once every minute. Any excess above that has to be put to the community to be sanctioned accordingly. This will require a 99.9% vote in favour of said motion.

2) Eating - This must be done either via Micro-wave meals or ready made sandwiches and should take no more than 15 minutes from start to finish. To help achieve this, CV's need to eat from the micro-wave cartons thus meaning no washing up req. as said cartons are disposable. Use of fingers and no cutelry will also speed things up. The reason for this will become apparent in No.3.

3) All CV's must remain at either an active pc or laptop with the info page on view and a finger poised over the F5 key and must use said key once every 3 seconds. This should go some way to resolving time delays in answering any and all questions put by the community at any time of the day or night.

4) Before answering any questions the CV's must first ask the community as a whole if its in order to answer said question. If the community agree that the question can be answered then any answer given must be put to the community to be sanctioned before being put as a formal response to the person asking the question. This procedure will also require a 99.9% in favour of both motions.

5) An Editors decision is final except when any decision made has NOT been put to the community first for approval. The usual 99.9% rule applies here also.

6) Toilet breaks will only be permitted after such a request is put to the community who will decide the pros and cons of such breaks. The 99.9% rule applies here also. If the community decide such breaks will interfere with the fast response times of the cv's then permission will not be granted and cv's will have to wait for another opportunity at a later date.

7) The community will ALWAYS and WITHOUT exception, put forward the same 3 or 4 named people who will, regardless of any election procedure or election result, deem themselves as spokespersons for the community.

8) Notwithstanding all the above, the community will, at all times, have the last lau.., err, I mean, last word on any and all decisions relating to the site even when its clear the CV's are within their rights to make such decisions.

FOOTNOTE 1:- 99.9% is the figure derived at in order to show the CV's that there will always be that 'point 1%' where any terms of reference for volunteers will never be good enough and therefore impossible to achieve 100%. The CV's will appreciate this as it shows we, as the community, are not over zealous in our demands nor are we dictatorial in such demands.

FOOTNOTE 2:- Legislation is to be put before parliament to scrap the working times directive and to extend the working day from 24 to 25 hours and the working week from 7 to 8 days. This should assist the CV's as it does, in theory, allow them time to eat etc at least once or twice a week.

Never let it be said we didn't have the health and welfare of our core teams at the centre of everything we do.


These T & C's brought to you by the number 42, a Logitec Keyboard and Optical Mouse and dictated by the mad moggie.

Thank you so much for this clarification. Very helpful.

Happy Nerd

Did you clear these points with the community before you posted them?

I'm not sure the F5 button every three seconds is correct BMT...shouldn't it be very 2 seconds?

BMT, would you kindly repost these in the staff room at F21525516?thread=8285474 so that all volunteers are made aware of them? Thank you.

BMT, Brilliant!

Hah. That's the easy stuff!

Don't forget we should get up before we go to bed, live in cardboard boxes in the middle of the road, conserve energy by switching off our PCs and using our imaginations, and replace our broadband with carrier pigeons.

I thought PCs could be left on, but had to be powered by cycling a turbine at the same time

That's where the hampsters come in.

I do hope these guidelines were ratified by a cordate group of seniour voluenteers, as well as passing the acceptible level of community buy in, by means of a formal consultation and vote?

cordate? seniour?

Well the spelling wasn't i must admit

This is brill.

Bel!: you can't say its brill!: not without seeking approval from the commfunity first to say that statement!

I'd rather hang myself than asking the community for approval.

But you would have to ask permission to hang yourself...

permission denied

Do you count as more than .01% of the community though?

No...i need another researcher to back me up...you up for it?

Hmmm...let me ask around