h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ha ha!


I have a love hate relationship with email backlog It's a strange little summary of what's happened, like:

09.01 - "Boss isn't in till 10, anyone fancy anything from shop?"

09.22 - "I forgot to buy a drink, anyone want anything else from shop?"

09.34 - "Who's got the Edwards file?"

09.35 - "It was under my crisps!"

09.48 - "Can I have your lotto money put on my desk"

09.54 - "Who's stolen my double hole punch?!"

09.58 - "Boss has just pulled into car park - hide all sweet wrappers"

And that's just the first morning! It's terrible if you're off for a couple of weeks

How do you catch a cold in the Summer?! You're sure it's not hayfever? I've gotten over the worst of my hayfever, a few weeks ago it was shocking. But now I have a strange thing in the morning, where I can't stop sneezing when I wake up

Glad you had a good time though

Oh I've been behaving alright...Just not good behaviour...

Work is doing my head in, I’m still definitely in festival mode. I don’t want to go to endless meetings and stare at statistics all day - I want to be lying in a drunken stupor in a field somewhere, getting sunburnt, and listening to loud music! Life’s not fair!

I managed to get a cold from camping. Even when it’s hot in the day, the nights are still really cold if you stay out long enough. I’d stagger back to the tent around 4ish most nights, and I’d be too wrecked to notice the cold, so I’d strip off and get into my sleeping back. Then I’d wake up an hour later shivering and put all my clothes back on. The problem with modern tents is that they’re quite plasticy, so when the sun comes up, it’s like an oven inside. That’s bad news when your wearing all your clothes and a sleeping bag! I don’t think I got more than 3 hours sleep a night.

Last year, I saw a documentary about the interrogation techniques the American army use. They break their subjects by subjecting them to extreme temperature changes, sleep deprivation, very little food and lots of shouting. It occurred to me that apart from the shouting, festivals conditions are quite similar! Don’t let me put you of though, you just have to rough it for a bit. I’m going to stop now, or I’ll go on and on and on... I’m probably going to do a journal entry on it this weekend anyway. As it’s the only interesting thing I’ve done in months, I probably should!

It’s good to see you share my strong work ethic! One of my favourite words is workshy! Shiftless is a good one too.

I'd opt for drunken, sunburnt stupor job. Where do I apply?

My big bruvver has got a VW camper that he goes trekking around England in With a sleeping bag and blow up bed stuffed inside it, it's ever so slightly warmer than a tent...

....I'm never going to a festival...

Ooh, I’ve always wanted one of those VW campers! Definitely appeals to the hippy in me! I can just imagine walking out of work and driving into the sunset, never to return! Then having a panic attack upon realising I have no money and no job...

Your right, you should never go to a festival. Now your no longer a teenager, your obviously past it and should content yourself with a cardigan, slippers and a comforting mug of horlicks.

It's really cool. I wanted him to do it up so it looked brand new-ish. But he thinks it's better having that battered look. I came round to his way of thinking after he told me I was wrong twelve million times.

But I've been doing that for the last couple of years anyway

If you want to be evil (and I know your perfectly capable), you could contact MTV, and get Tim Westwood to pimp his ride! Actually, I’ve still not seen the UK version, but there’s just something naff about doing it here in the UK. I can just image Westwood pimping some boy racer’s Nova in a backstreet garage in Macclesfield...

Incidentally, I’ve just pimped my mozilla browser, and very good it looks too, in a tasteless way!

Thinking about it, I was never very rebellious in my teenage years, and it wasn’t until my twenties that I went a bit mental, so there’s still hope! Now I’ve moved back in with the parents, I seem to have reverted back to cardigan and slippers, but I still have my moments!

I read your considering getting a flat on the what just happened thread. That could give you a whole new lease of life you know, although there is more to life than going out and drinking until your sick (and then drinking more!) Having said that, if there is more to it than that, can you let me know, because I’ve yet to find it...

I think they made a UK version of Jackass. But I don't remember ever watching it

I always think that the cars look better before they've been done up too. Who needs a jacuzzi in the back of a chevy? How would you operate the gear stick with that coffee machine stuck there? How often do I think "Let's go and watch a film in the car"?

The originals are always better

I've got the Mozilla bling too

I did go slightly mental for about a year when I was 18. But I seem to prefer being calm at the moment

I've been thinking about a flat for about a couple of months now, but the main motivation behind it is because of some stuff that's been happening at home. A few people I know have recently moved out of their 'rents homes too, so I'm feeling a bit left behind and wanting to be more independent as well.

Better start saving the pennies

What makes me laugh is that they always put a huge plasma screen TV into the back of the car. If they actually tried to watch it, they’d be lucky to get more than 2ft away from it!

The originals usually are better. It works the other way round when Americans try and do our shows too. I just found out that they did a version of Fawlty Towers, called Amanda’s!

Sorry, to hear you’re having problems at home. When things go wrong at home, it feels like you don’t have anywhere to escape to, doesn’t it? I’ve been applying for loads of jobs in London, as I’d love to live down there. If do move down there, I can kiss goodbye to any kind of disposable income though.

Oh, I got the Arcade Fire’s album today. I was slightly unsure whether to get it or not as I was quite drunk when I saw them on Jules Holland – the only thing I could remember was that they were really good! I wasn’t disappointed though - very good album. I’ve only listened to it twice, so it hasn’t sunk in properly, but my favourite track at the moment in Neighbourhood #4 because it’s the biggest, loudest song, and it got me out of my chair and onto my feet. I’ll probably change my mind as I get to know the songs better.

Yeah, I heard that the Americans remade that too. They didn't like how Basil was so nasty though, so made him nice(?!!)

Thanks It seems to be getting better now, or maybe it's just that I'm getting used to it.

I'd love to live in London too Today, I've been so bored, I fancied a walk, but the only place to go was the park. If I lived in London, think of all the places I could walk around just on the way to the shops

It's very different from anything I've heard before. I'm quite keen on Power Out and Rebellion

Oh, I meant Neighbourhood #3 (Power Out). They remind me a little of the Velvet Underground. The violins, xylophones and the repetitive strumming on the guitar is reminiscent of the first velvet underground album, which is a very good thing in my book. Having said that, they do have their own sound, impassioned and anarchic – just how I like it!

I know what you mean about London, there’d be endless fun just exploring. Now, if I can only find someone foolish enough to employ me...

I'd not listened to them for a while, but after you said you'd bought the album, I stuck them on today

I'm sure you'll be able to find somewhere, what is it you do anyway?

I’ve got a degree in media production, so I’d like to work in TV or film, but it’s pretty hard to break into. At the moment, I’m working for the civil service, monitoring government targets. Very exciting! What do you do? I think I read somewhere that you’re interested in design.

It’s only the last six months that I’ve been looking for a career job. I’ve had a few interviews, but I’m pretty crap at them – definitely something I need to work at. I’m sure there’s someone out there gullible and stupid enough to take me on, I just need to find them!

Did you finish your degree not long ago then? I don't know as if I could face going back to Uni or college after working. I thought when I finished college that I'd just have a couple of years break, then go back to learn. But now I don't know what I would do without that monthly paycheck.

I'd like to get into Graphic Design, I keep telling myself that next year I'll go and get a qualification Right now, I'm working at a solicitors, doing accounts work. The work can be a bit boring, but most of the time I enjoy it, especially with the people I work with.

I'm pretty rubbish at interviews too. I try to plan what I want to say and what I think they'll ask me, but I always end up stumbling over my words.

I hope you find somewhere

I graduated a few years ago, and the original plan was to save some money and do some travelling. Only problem is, I never quite got the hang of the saving thing. Instead, I just hung out with my mates and enjoyed myself - I guess I didn’t want to let go of my student days. Last year I decided it was time I should start taking things more seriously, so I moved back in with my parents so I could actually save some money, and more recently I’ve been looking for jobs in London.

So do you think you’ll do a part time course or something, or do you think you’ll be able to do something without further qualifications? I know what you mean about money, I don’t know how I managed before I started getting a half-decent paycheck. I just got promoted recently, which is a good thing money wise, but I’d take a cut in pay if it meant I could do something I enjoy. It’s hard isn’t it? Works not everything, but it’d be great to so something you care about. Hope it works out for you, Footy.

Ooh, I'd like to do some travelling too (this is just getting to be a long list of things to do before starting a career, next on the list is to become a full time member of a barber shop quartet). I'd like to travel around Europe and parts of the US.

When I go back (I started that sentence with "If" then changed it to "When" - Must have a more positive outlook), it'll be to do a National Diploma, so I'd have to give up full time work and go part time. That's part of the reason why I'm putting it off too - I feel like I've really landed on my feet where I'm working and keep thinking that it'd be dificult finding anywhere else like it.

Well, they say that it’s the things you don’t do that you end up regretting. On the other hand, maybe *they* should lead more exciting lives and do something worth regretting!

I’m trying to persuade a friend to go on holiday with me to Cuba this Christmas. I really want to go before Castro dies and everything changes. Only problem is, my friends useless at saving. Even worse than I am!

I was going to return to Wolfden Chat today and attempt engaging him in real conversation, but the poetry scared me away! Maybe he’s more intelligent than we give him credit for, and knew the effect the poetry would have.

I used to have a friend like that. I *can* be good at saving, but she was rubbish. I'd always end up forking out for her Hope you get to go

I was going to go over there as well, but then I opened the conversation and saw that he'd posted "Good afternoon" straight after another of his own posts. I realised I couldn't deal with him today

When I first posted that silly thing about gravity there, I thought - "I'll see if I can get him on the side of the physics people" But then I went all wrong

I had a pretty crap day at work today, but then in the afternoon I decided to slack off and have a lurk on hootoo. The What just happened? thread cheered me right up!

I caught myself feeling a little sorry for him, but like I said before, I’m just too soft. I hope he doesn’t go though – what would everyone do without him? It would be a terrible anticlimax if he just disappeared. Jean Paul Satre famously said that hell would be being trapped in a room for eternity with only your friends for company – we need people like Wolfie to keep us sane!

Did you know you’re on his friends list? How on earth did you manage that? I think he’s even removed people off it over the last 24 hours, but your still there!

Ha ha!

Perhaps my theory about him being more intelligent than he’s letting on is true. He could be using the threat of friendship as punishment!

I had a dull day today too Though I did somehow manage to make someone laugh enough to cry, so that cheered me up no end

All this afternoon I've been lurking on and off the WJH thread, couldn't stop grinning

I was starting to feeel sorry for him too, but then he did something to annoy me again and I snapped

I know! How am I on there!? I've said plenty of comments about him today to take me off, but no...