h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: painting - A4266227
Author: cactuscafepart2 - U1655536

this is a song, a word painting - a celebration of pattern
strange to use the word thee - can I mix old and new english and get away with it?

Yes, it seems to work

A couple of thoughts. Obviously the repetition is intentional though, for me at least, it comes across as a bit forced. Maybe if the repeating structure where spaced a bit more, like first line and last, it would still give the effect you're striving for without seeming to fall on top of each other as it now does. As it stands it's just a bit jarring. Now as a song it might work wonderfully, but alas, we've no music here .

Spynxxx

think you're right - the repetition comes from the song format - and doesn't hold up as a poem - sometimes perhaps song lyrics can hold up as poems and sometimes they can't - maybe they need the music to hold them together - I know the feeling.

thanx boss
wish I knew how you guys put them smiley symbols into a text - I can see them there, but at present I can only smile back at them - I like the cup of tea symbol -

cactuscafepart2

thanks chips

cactuscafepart2

You're welcome

If you reply to me, just click your mouse on one of the smileys below your text

thanks again chips - now I am trying to get a tea and cake graphic as instructed by you - I will be a very happy person if I can get a tea and cake graphic - in front of me here it just says tea cake, so I'm getting hungry and I am going to go and toast a teacake -

now I am starting to check out my fellow-travellers - so I clicked onto your name and hey! wow - you have a graphic in your personal space and a friend/fan following, and your writing looks like a new dimension - so I will peruse your output when time allows -

so we write on then, ever onwards

cactuscafepart2

I'd like to propose Back to Entry as this has been deleted.

<BB<

I hope cactuscafe has a copy of the original anyway