h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Maybe it was pity, maybe you thought you were doing me a favour, perhaps you wanted to satisfy your curiosity, or you had a bet about the outcome, perhaps you wanted to make somebody jealous, or one of your relatives asked you to as a favour to them, or you just wanted to dance. I don't blame you for that.

If you noticed the amount I'd been drinking that long evening (I was far from drunk), then you almost certainly also realised that I was there without a male companion of any kind, and I don't entirely blame you if you didn't recognise my wedding ring for what it was. If my relatives downplayed quite how sick my husband is, and therefore you concluded that I was there on my own because of a serious row, I don't blame you for that either.

It's almost traditional to pull somebody from the other side's family at these events - I certainly don't blame you for trying, in spite of the language barrier.

I blame you for failing realise that, even if you were twice as charming, three times as attractive, and ten times as good a dancer (incidentally, you were a real pleasure to dance with), there's still no way that I'd willingly do more than dance with you where my immediate family were able to see us. And no way that I'd allow you to manoeuvre me anywhere more private either.

Granted, there was a lot of chemistry there, but did you really think I'd cheat on my husband while missing him so much?