h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I haven't taken part in that History project. I don't even know where it is or care.

I just remember how completely and utterly horrible it was for a person new to using the internet as a way of connecting to others via conversation online, to get involved with stuff like that.

I hope any new person coming here wouldn't have to experience that.

How I remember it. (NB remember...not fact..how it is in my mind).

It was a massive thing for me to get involved with an online community. Scary and exciting.

I got quite involved with the Thingite threads.

In real life that whole bullying thing with my partner's child was starting. That's a whole nightmare I'll leave out...but that was the background. I looked to the internet to escape that misery.

Thingite stuff was superficial and fun...then suddenly..it was like all hell let loose.

People talked about 'thread bombs' and actually made guide entries about them. If you posted the wrong thing..suddenly someone would shout, 'thread bomb' and post a link.

And of course people...a whole group..I remember some names. SoRB..I think it was the changeover from Hoo..I knew both names, Az, blicky, Alfster,...well it was one long stream of invective thrown at anyone who questioned what was being done to Della.

And I kept going back because it deemed so horribly wrong. Plus I had a horrible fascination for it..because of real life..and I could hardly believe what was going on.

This internet world, community...like some monster of viciousness and hate like I'd never even seen in real life....(except of course it would come out later what was being done to my partner's daughter at the hands of those bornagain kids..)

And Della was drawn into that whole thing to always play games and respond to keep the whole ghastly infernal turning. And what a hard on for hate SoRB had..

Truly hideous.


**

That's how I remember it..

And kea stood up for me then..and since.

That's the deep part that will never go away. You can't change history.

That's a kind of primitive tribal thing in me..which I like that I have.

I think maybe it was because discovering online community interaction was like discovering a new world. ..and a pretty scary one at that.

(This is actually the first time I could bring myself to *really remember* that period).

My memory of it was that I arrived toward the end Nd it was sort of a shadow of mean sprite hanging in the background. I suspect.that that shadow was a main reason I didn't and never have gotten involved in large areas of the site. I started out with PR and later moved off to start the Chief Gordon thread and had one one one things with a few people. The god threads are the nastiest things I've been involved in.

It literally *frightened* me. But I was so fragile because of problems with my real partner. I felt so ungrounded and floating around suddenly in this thing called cyberspace where nasty wars went on. And I was forever blundering and saying the wrong thing to trigger thread bombs and god knows what.

But I am literally too frightened to read that ASK thread. It's a bit similar for me..but now she is all against me.

I take these things to heart too much.

But it's good to face up to some of those feelings to do with that early period and understand a bit better why maybe I feel traumatised by this thing with kea.

It's silly to pretend otherwise. I know you suggested good strategies to deal with it. I tried. They don't work.

The contradiction is too deep. Best I think for me really face it.

**

The Della War thing was truly horrible.

It was *horrible* bullying. Yes Della carried on encouraging it..as she appeared to have masochistic tendencies.

I certainly don't. I'll keep away from that thing if people are being whipped up. I went there very briefly and couldn't believe all the mentions of my name.

That thread is called, 'What is wrong with h2g2?'

It's like she wants to make me the thing that is wrong with h2g2.

Seriously anhaga people are gutless at dealing with bullying. We hear it all the time here to do with schools, the military...also office politics. You get these phone-ins every so often..and people ring up with the same horrible stuff..leading to breakdowns and worse in extremis.

Certainly those teachers at the school colluded so long with pretending the problem wasn't so big..oh yeah they were dealing..like hell they were.

And one day Fritha's daughter ended up in hospital with severe breathing difficulties.

Of course I'm not *literally* comparing what happens here with that. She was a child. But the point is..it should be faced by people in charge...and mostly it isn't.

And it is a form of sadism.

I'll close this nasty Journal now.

It helped me to finally face that period that I hated so much...to do with my first experience of social networks.

Apparently I'm on premod on general threads later tonight/tomorrow.

Stuff that. I'm staying in Journals.

I'll be onto The Real Thing tomorrow. It will nice to make a Journal about that as I go through it.

And thanks anhaga so much for your friendship. It must be a bit a strain on you at present. And I never forget these things..

I might even persuade you to send me your real life address via email. I'd really love to send you a Christmas present. No worries if that feels too much though.

Oh and Happy Thanksgiving.

I know you said you were closing this but ...


I posted a thing on the what news story thread about Lady Gaga very generously sending a video message of support to a high school student in Toronto who was organizing an anti-bullying assembly at his school. It was immediately buried by comments about British teachers telling kids to stop being so girly. There was no indication of whether such teachers were approved or disapproved of.

That's pretty weird.

Actually I am hugely upset after daring to go to that thread on Ask and reading some of what kea is posting about me.

Her friend Peanut was forever jumping...and last saturday night for hours on me about bringing that stuff to general threads.

I've repeatedly asked kea to talk with me.

She has a hard on herself to bully me off this site now. Totally clear to me. She bad mouths me all over the place.

How can she be that sadistic? She knows I'm not that bad. For years she was saying I was an asset to this place.

Truly anhaga it is so so upsetting me. I can't get rid of those deep good feelings for her..however hard I try..because of the past..and she just carries on 'hitting' me.

Why?

'Why?'




I have trouble fathoming people in the real world. Here it's even more of a challenge.

I just can't deal with it any longer...