h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Okay what with all my recent problems I applied to be able to do things online.

Two separate letters came today from the bank, Santander..with two separate pins or something.

But they are beneath a patterned thing on the letter..and I can't work out how to get to them.

Does anyone know what I should do?

I think you just peel off the paper backing behind. Then if you hold the letter up to the light you should be able to read the numbers on the translucent film

Cheers Big Al.

I peeled off the paper on the back and they were back to front. But then I finally saw how you could peel off the paper on the front, and luckily I hadn't wrecked it too much.

These things always send me into such a panic.

And it says I have to change all the details I used the first time that they sent me. I don't remember them sending me those details.

This is making me feel ill.

I'll try again later.

If someone like me with 2 degrees gets so confused what on earth do some people get like.

I think what they mean is that you should log on with the info in the little window on the letter and then while you're logged on, change your PIN.

I think.

Yeah I'll look at it tomorrow.

Haven't confronted it yet,

but just now a whole mass of pins turned up in 3 separate letters. Something to do with what my father did..and I have to change a pin within 21 days...and get this sentance,

'Choose a user name, Master password, and Trading password. These should have between 8 and 20 characters and contain at least 2 numbers and 2 letters'

I honestly don't have a clue how much money I have anymore. I might even be a millionaire But I live in abject poverty..as I have no care for the things money can buy..obviously I have the security of gas, electricity etc...except when I can't organise myself to pay it.

I now sleep in the garden...

And my mind feels like disintegrates more each day.

But at least I can't stop hysterically laughing now.